Daygame is the one pure form of game. It’s much like how veteran poker players consider no limit Texas Hold’em to be the only pure form of poker. Why do I think this? Let’s look at other types of game, and I’ll tell you why I don’t consider the to be as pure as daygame.

First there’s social circle game. I know many cold approach advocates consider this ‘cheating’, but getting laid is getting laid. If you have a social circle good enough to provide you with a regular stream of hot young girls, that’s great. Keep milking it. Personally I think it’s really unlikely to have a social circle that is so active that enough new girls enter it that you can reach a really good volume of new lays a year. Lets say you want to fuck 20 new women a year. Even if 1 in 5 hot women that you are introduced to socially end up fucking you, that would mean meeting 100 new hot women socially in a year. If as many as 1 in 3 of the new women you meet socially in a year are hot, that means you’d need to meet 300 women a year to get your bangs in. That might not seem like a lot. In cold approach terms it isn’t, but how many people have social circles that introduce them to 300+ women a year?

I actually think the idea of the social circle player is a bit of a myth. There’s this idea that’s quite common, of a guy who’s very social and bangs women from his social circle left right and center. Although men like this exist to some extent, bare in mind that most people consider these guys players because they’ve slept with 30 women by the time they’ve hit their early 30s. This means only a few notches a year, which in my mind doesn’t make them much of a player. I actually have it from a reliable source that many of the very vocal guys on one of the UKs largest forums who deny game exists and tell men to pursue social circles to get women only have these sorts of results. When you combine this knowledge with the fact that social circle game requires you to hunt purely within a set social circle, outside of which you may flounder, you can see why I don’t consider this a pure form of game.

Next there is online game. I’ve done a lot of this myself. Online game can work well for men for two reasons. No approaching is required, and filtering. By filtering I mean that guys only end up on dates (or on Tinder with matches) with girls who are already interested in them due to their looks. This means that an average guy can spam girls with 100 low effort messages in one night, and as a result have 3 dates lined up for the next week. Since all the dates are with girls who are already interested in his looks, he only has to put in minimal game to turn 1 to 2 of those dates into lays. This may sound good. In a way it is, as it allows an average guy to rack up a high lay count without ever having to overcome AA. The trouble with this is that the best swords are forged in the hottest fires. The online PUA only ever practices his game against yes girls. Girls who are physically better looking than you will rarely, if ever be yes girls. They’ll be maybe girls or no girls. The lack of practise with low girls will produce a PUA that is incapable of getting girls who are better looking than him (this is where I’m at now). So this is why online game is not pure game. It does not enable a man to regularly get girls who are better looking than him. This may be fine for really good looking guys. If a guy is a high 8 or better, I’d really recommend he goes on a Tinder rampage. His cock will thank him for it. Even this has a fairly short life span. A guy with good looks will age and lose his looks, and will not have the game to compensate if he’s only ever gamed online. Even if his looks remain for many years, he’ll need to lie about his age. I’ve noticed the quality of my matches nosedive since I turned 32, without any of my pictures changing. It seems girls online filter heavily on age, as it’s one of the few parameters available to them.

Now we come to club / bar game. Real cold approach. This is getting close to pure game now. You actually have to walk up to a girl you don’t know and get her to have sex with you in the near future. It’s hard. You need great non verbals. A thick skin to handle all of the swift rejections. Social skills. Understanding of female psychology. The tenacity to see it though from open to isolation to  extraction to close all at 2am in the morning after you’ve had a few drinks and are completely knackered. There is a skill to it. In my mind it’s not pure game for two reasons.

First is the girls mental state. She’s probably slightly drunk and her buying temperature will likely be spiking due to being in a highly stimulating environment. This can help you, but at the same time it takes a lot of finesse out of the game. Imagine trying to craft an amazing role play to draw her emotionally into your world. Or attempting to parry a well timed shit test with nothing but a change in your vocal tonality. All while the music in the  club is almost deafening and the girl is a bit drunk and really hyper. It’s not the best environment for it. Think of it like daygame being two MMA masters going at it in the ring with highly skilled moves. In comparison daygame is like one of those big bar room brawls you see in old school westerns. It’s too chaotic for highly skilled moves; you just need to get stuck in with some haymakers or smash a bottle over someone’s head to win.

There’s also the looks factor in clubs. Given how easy it is for a girl to reject you in a club, combined with how many times a girl will get approached in a club, it’s usual that a girl won’t even give a guy a chance if he isn’t at least as good looking as her. I do think it’s possible for the better PUAs to get girls who are better looking than them in a club, but it’s low percentage. The norm is for her to instantly reject before you have a chance to show your full value via game.

Finally we come to daygame. Daygame is the one true, pure form of game because it is most effective and versatile value delivery system available to the average man. It’s versatility staems from you needing nothing but yourself. You don’t need a club, a social circle or an ecosystem. It is practiced in any environment that isn’t a club / bar: on the street, in the supermarket, in a women’s clothes shop, on the train, in a cafe. Daygame stops game being this thing you do online or in clubs and opens the whole world up to you as a sarging opportunity. It is truly portable, as people like Krauser and Torero prove when they do two week daygame trips to foreign cities that result in a slew of lays.

In terms of effectiveness, I think daygame provides the best value delivery system out there. This is because daygame usually involves you approaching a single girl in an environment in which she is not usually accustomed to being approached. This often results in her giving you enough time to run game on her, when in other situations she might not give you this opportunity (online, in clubs). The fact that you have the girl on her own in an environment where you can talk means that you can use verbal game to full effect, without competing with her friends or loud background music. It is in the daytime that she will pick up on all the subtleties of your game, both verbal and non verbal. This is a double edged sword. This is because all of the positive stuff you do will be noticed, but so will all your fuck ups. This can make daygame harder to learn, and may well mean that beginners / intermediates get worse results than they would in a club or online. On the flip side a more advanced practitioners game will yield him superior results in the daytime as compared to in a club or online. This all means that many more guys struggle with daygame than with nightgame, but the daygamers who make it seem to end up with the bigger positive disparity in looks between themselves and the girls they lay. The bottom line is that I believe that daygame will net the average man the hottest girls he has the potential to get.

As a little bonus, daygame offers the best opportunities for instruction. It lends itself far better to video infields with high quality audio and coaching where the coach can both watch and listen in on your set. These things mean that daygamers are in a much better position to both learn from others, and to have their mistakes pointed out to them by a pro. This will help enable the daygamer to reach his full potential, and not get stuck running sets in a suboptimal way.

Epic Win

Posted: October 15, 2014 in Uncategorized

At the beginning of the year I outlined my goals for 2014. I then broke these goals into sub goals, with one sub goal to be completed each quarter of the year. My first sub goal of the year was to sleep with 7 new women. This would help me to achieve my goal of getting 20 new notches this year. I succeeded in this goal. So for the second quarter of the year I wanted to get my first daygame lay. I failed in this goal. As a result I rolled this goal over to quarter 3. This put me a little behind.

Getting my first daygame lay is very important to me for a few reasons.

It’s been a long time since I opened my first ever daygame set. This happened around the time I first started writing this blog, so almost 5 years ago. Although I’ve never consistently done day game during those 5 years, that’s still a long time to go without results. This made me want it really badly. A lot of effort with no achievement does not make for a happy man. You can say, “you have the right to the action, not the outcome” all you want, but we still like to win.

From an almost geeky point of view, I consider daygame the one true form of game. It’s pure game (I’ll discuss why in an upcoming). As such I belive its the only form of game that will allow me to reach my full potential in terms of the quality (attractiveness) of women I can get). This is probably the biggest reason I want to crack daygame.

One thought I love about daygame is it can be practised almost anywhere, at any time, and can be done spontaneously. That hot girl you saw waiting on the District line platform who you wished you could meet? Daygame gives you the tools to meet her and fuck her. No nightclub or Tinder required.

Lastly I want to get good at daygame because I foresee that I probably won’t want to go to nightclubs as much when I’m older. In addition to this, as I’ve hit 32 I’ve noticed a sharp decrease in results from online game. I think daygame is definitely the best tool for me as I age.

As you may have guessed from the title of the post, at the end of last month I got my first daygame lay. In doing so I completed that goal for the year, and the goal of sleeping with 20 new women this year. September 2014 was a good month. A fucking vintage.

Onwards and upwards. One mountain may have been climbed, but another looms just over the horizon. In my next post I set out my goal for the final part of 2014.

 

As I get older I am starting to look to the future. When I do a question, or maybe a concern, comes to mind. What is the expiration date on game?

By expiration date I mean the approximate age at which a man can no longer get women in their sexual prime through game alone (so excluding the value adds of wealth and fame). To answer this question you need to work out what a man’s sexual market value peak is. From there his ability to game prime SMV women into bed will decrease, and not too long after this peak he will stop being able to do this altogether. I think I’ve mainly started thinking about this because since turning 32 I’ve found it almost impossible to match with decent mid 20s girls on Tinder. It seems many of them must have their upper age limit set at 31 (I’m going to cheat next year by saying I’m 28 on my profile. Fuck you, Tinder).

When thinking about this I remembered a graph of male and females SMV by age on The Rationale Male (full article). I’m now going to talk through the graph. I’ll compare the author’s view on the matter with both my own opinions, and also the opinions which are commonly held within modern society in general.

First we have female SMV. The author has women’s SMV peaking at 23, and shows women being very desirable from age 15 through to age 30. It shows women retaining a modicum of attractiveness until their mid thirties, after which time they sink into such a deep sexual abyss that they may as well be asexual.

This goes against the modern social narrative. This narrative is wrong. Social ‘scientists’ and feminists may lie about this, but my boner and the boners of other men point to the truth. The Rationale Male is correct in this. As much as modern society thinks it’s monstrous to suggest that girls start becoming sexual attractive a 15, this is the truth. They’ve usually got decent breasts by that age, and their hips are starting to widen to give the waist : hip ratio that men are programmed to find attractive. I still remember bumping into my next door neighbours daughter and her friend in a club when I was 21 and they were 15. They looked very attractive and got a lot of attention from guys in their late 20s and 30s. Despite this I can still see that girls aren’t at their sexual peak yet in their late teens. Some of them still have childlike faces, can be plagued with acne, and sometimes their bodies aren’t yet fully developed into a womanly shape.

The graph shows that women hit their SMV peak at 23. I’d agree with this. In their early 20s women are fully developed, but yet show no negative signs of ageing. The collagen in their skin is still intact. This keeps them pert, even if they’re carrying a little excess fat. They have clear, wrinkle free skin soft, thick hair and bright eyes. All the features which signal fertility to men. Although mainstream society does allow that women are sexually attractive at this age (although I can see a time when many men my be shamed for finding college age girls attractive), it mistakenly claims they don’t peak at this age.

The mainstream media seems to constantly push the idea that women peak in their 30s. If you were able to compile a list of the most wanked too women on the planet you would quickly see this is not the case. The ugly truth of the matter is that women start to visibly decline in their late 20s. By her early 30s most women are at best a 6. I’ve dated and even fucked a few women of this age. Being very attractive at this age is the exception, not the rule. I’ve often heard guys say that their are loads of very attractive women in their 30s. It wouldn’t surprise me if many of these guys actually mistake women in the 27 – 29 age range for being in their 30s. The norm is that women age really badly in their 30s. The wall hits them hard. By their 40s it’s rare that a women will have any significant remaining value on the sexual market. A lot for red pill guys celebrate this fact. I mourn it as a tragedy. If women were hot right through into their 40s, the percentage of women on the market who are sexually attractive would be far higher. For any guy with decent game this would be a hugely positive thing.

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britt-ekland-shared-picture-764508865 The tragedy of ageing

Then there’s the male part of the graph. This is where I disagree with the Rational Male. The graph shows a man’s value as quite low when he’s in his teens, with a rapid rise when the early 20s are reached. This bit I agree with. In their teens most boys look like… well boys. Unlike girls who look like they’re ready to reproduce at this age, boys often don’t look masculine enough for this. You’ll often hear a girl says she wants a man not a boy. You can understand after hearing this that a lad who can’t yet grow facial hair won’t be physically masculine enough for a girl yet. When you add to this that most guys of this age are terrified of girls, you can easily see that a teenage boy has low sexual market value.

The graph shows a steady rise throughout the 20s until it starts to get close to vertical at 30. The peak for men is shown at 38, and a man is shown to hold a very high SMV all the way to 45 when it drops off, before hitting the wall at around 50. This is where I disagree. I think most people in the game related mansophere over value social status and undervalue looks when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. Take a moderately successful man who is 29 years old. He’s a 8/10 in looks at this point. Throughout his 30s and forties he climbs the career ladder, maybe even making C – level exec in his early to mid 40s. At this point he has far higher social status, but he’s now a 5 or 6 in terms of looks, depending on how well he’s looked after himself over the years. Based on the graph the older version of this man in his early 40s can significantly out pull his 29 year old self. If he was sleeping with 8s when he was 29, age 43 he should be banging 10s. His SMV has almost doubled. Although I have no experience of being a 29 year old guy, I can plainly see this is not true. The only way this would happen is if the guy was really physically out of shape and lacking in game at 29, and he spends hos 30s learning game and getting in killer shape.

I think the graph is wishful thinking for men. Although at 38, the graph’s peak for a man, men usually have a good a balance of worldly success and some remaining youth as their ever going to have, it’s just too old for the peak. For this to be a man’s peak 23 year old girls would have to be regularly banging 38 year old guys. This does happen (ask Krauser!), but it’s the exception, not the rule. Many girls this age would consider 38 to be a bit old. Most guys this age have a beer belly and look like someone’s dad. I’m not saying this can’t be overcome with game. What I am saying is that a guy of 29 with good game will out pull a 38 year old guy with good game.

In my mind a man’s peak is in his late 20s to early 30s. At this age he’ll be old enough to be confident and worldly. He’ll have started to make something of himself career wise (or if he hasn’t be probably never will). He should have a moderate amount of money to spend. He’ll still have youthful good looks. I really wish the graph was correct. It would mean my best years are yet to come. I’ll experience a fast rise in attractiveness over the next 6 years, and then have another 6 years of fairly high value after that. This would mean over a decade of being able to do better with women than I am now. This is a nice thought, but I think it’s just wishful thinking dreamed up by the manosphere. My gut tells me that my best years are behind me.

Why Is Game So Hard

Posted: September 16, 2014 in Uncategorized

In my last post I talked about what type of success rates PUAs are actually achieving. There’s more I wanted to say on the topics of success rates, but I didn’t think it really fit into the previous article. I will now put down in words my remaining thoughts on this topic.

When most guys hear the (truthful) success rates of ‘professional’ PUAs who cold approach girls more attractive than them, they are often shocked at how low they seem. They imagined all these guys were, at the very least, getting success rates of 10 : 1 (10 approaches to get 1 lay). I honestly believe that this is very far off the mark. This belief stems from spending 5 years approaching girls, watching pickup videos by ‘pro’ PUAs and meeting / sarging with PUAs of all abilities ranging from socially retarded noobs, through average guys with a bit of game, up to guys who make a living teaching game. There are guys out there who get laid, alot. The big but that follows this is that they have to approach a hell of a lot of girls to achieve this.

I’ve heard many guys online saying they have a 20% success rate, or they know a guy who’s amazing at game that gets virtually every girl. I’ve never seen any evidence of this. I’m not saying it’s true, but I think it’s highly unlikely if the guy is fucking hotter girls and is approaching cold.

Take the video below for example.

It looks amazing, right? Tyler from RSD kcloses a load of girls, acts all cocky with them, picks them up off the ground, makes really bold approaches and is seen leaving venues with them, apparently for sex. Surely, this is proof positive that guys can have a high success rate when picking up girls who are hotter than them? No. What you have to bear in mind is that this is basically a highlight reel taken from over a year’s worth of filming. It’s probably some of the best parts of 100 nights out sarging. When coupled with the fact that he probably didn’t fuck all of the girls shown on the video, you can see that he’s probably opening a lot of sets to get the results he’s getting. I will just add a sidenote here that I do like Tyler’s stuff, and I’m not implying he lies to or misleads guys. He always states himself he has to approach a lot of girls to get enough momentum to do what he does. I plan to attend an RSD hotseat next year.

My point is that these super high mPUA success rates don’t really exist outside of the marketing material in which they are touted. Sorry to shatter your illusions, but if you’re an average guy you’re really going to have to approach quite a high number of hot women to lay any.

So why is it the case that even great PUAs have such ‘low’ success rates? It’s because getting girls who barely know you and who are better looking than you to want to have casual sex with you is hard. Really fucking hard. Why is this the case?

It’s simple economics. I’m not going to deleve into the biological / evolutionary driving forces here, but rather just take a look at the end result and what it means in terms of how hard it is to fuck girls more attractive than you. Imagine that casual sex is a commodity like any other (and before you get whinny about this, bare in mind it is possible to buy casual sex for cash, so there you go). This would make the dating scene a sexual market place. In a given market place, what factor has the biggest influence on price? Supply and demand. Low supply and high demand = high prices. High supply and low demand = low prices.

Lets look at the demand for casual sex partners from the point of view of each of the sexes. To make things clearer we’ll use a busy nightclub on a Saturday night as a microcosm of the world at large.

Supply of male partners for casual sex: Very high as a percentage of all the men in the club. Lets face it. Most men in a club would like to fuck a new girl that night.

Supply of female sexual partners: Very low. Despite what some optimistic people may think, a very small percentage of women in the club want to fuck a new man that night, or even on another night after a date with him. A girl’s physical urges for casual sex are less frequent than a man’s. People may say, “But women like sex as much, if not more than men!”. I agree. But whereas man are much more inclined to have sex with lots of different women, women want sex lots of times but with the same man each time. I’m not saying women are all innocent little virgins and never do dirty stuff. I know they do. They often do it with me. Girls have their R-Selected moments, but they’re rare. The point is that their inclination towards casual sex is lower than a man’s. Far lower. Anyone who denies this denies plainly observable reality.

This all means that when you as a PUA go looking for sex, offering your own sex in return, you’re essentially offering to trade something that is in high supply for something which is in low supply. The market’s going to resist that, and that’s what makes game hard. When half the world is selling TVs, cornering a disproportionately large share of the TV market is no easy task. That’s what a successful PUA has to do.

How do you measure success? Fighters have their wins – losses – draws. Powerlifters have their totals. Sprinters have their best time for a given distance. What about PUAs? PUAs have their open : fclose ratio.

I’m first going to talk about what type of success ratio guys actually seem to obtain, from ‘professional’ PUAs down to normal guys who just go out at the weekends. I’ll then go on to show you why comparing success rates is basically bullshit.

There is one piece of bullshit I have to address before proceeding. If memory serves me rightly Mystery (or maybe Neil Strauss) once said of success rates that an mPUA could open 5 girls and get 5 girlfriends as a result. I’ve seen people quote this on forums as what is possible if you get “really good at game”. This is bullshit. I’m not going to do a detailed breakdown of why I think this. That would be a waste of time; that figure is so obviously impossible.

Lets look at me. I don’t record stats apart from number of lays, so this is one huge stab in the dark. I’d estimate that from cold approach game in bars and clubs my open : fclose ration is somewhere around 30:1 to 40:1. Quite a range, I know, It’s really hard to say without keeping stats. I’ve gone through periods where I seem to be getting laid every other weekend while opening maybe 10 girls I week, but on the flip side I’ve has times where I’ve opened 40 – 50 girls in a few weeks and not got laid. Hard to see through the variance without recording how many girls I actually open. Accuracy aside, I think it’s a figure that shows it’s not really easy for me to get laid. There’s a high luck factor their. At the same time I’m not hopeless. I can get laid fairly regularly if  I put the effort in. Also bare in mind I’m only talking full vaginal or anal sex her. If I included hand jobs and blow jobs the stats would be pretty good, but still not amazing.

Let’s look at some of the pros. Both Tom Torero and Nick Krauser have helpfully posted their 2013 stats for the world to see. If you want the details, check out the links. The summary is that they both have a open : lay ratio of around 30-40 : 1. Roughly the same as myself. Does this mean I as good at game as two well known PUAs who have written books and taught bootcamps on the subject? In a word, no. The explanation of this makes a nice segway into the second part of the post. Success rates don’t mean much on their own, and cannot be easily compared.

The difficulty of fucking a given girl off a cold approach is mainly determined by how physically attractive she is in comparison to how physically attractive you are. Yes, there are other factors, but this is the headline. For the “looks don’t matter” brigade, please note I’m not saying that looks are everything. it’s simply that the better looking the girl is compared to you, the more game you need.

I would say there are the following levels when it comes to fucking girls regularly:

Girls more than a point below you: If you can’t fuck these girls regularly, you haven’t just got no game, but you are doing something weird to actively make them run away. I mean like trying to extract for sex by saying, “Come back to my place. I keep my dead mother’s head in a jar, you can see it! It talks to me sometimes. At night”.

Girls a point below you: You’d think you’d need no game, but you do need some. Just basic escalate and don’t fuck up game, but you can’t be a chode. Girls are hypergamous so they feel entitled to guys at lease a point better than them by default. If your value drops due to messing up an obvious shit test she through at you, or if any neediness comes through, you could loose the lay. There are just too many men who are regularly willing to gladly fuck a point below them that you do have to bring some game.

Girls at your level: You may think you need just the merest hint of game to get these girls. The truth is that girls at your own level of looks will regularly get opportunities to fuck guys better looking than you. As such, you need fairly solid, but certainly not perfect game to get these girls.

Girls a point hotter than you: You need solid game (or some other type of value adding edge, like status within a given group). Bare in mind we’re talking about casual sex her. You’re not offering a relationship, just sex with a guy worse looking than she is. An impossible sell without strong charisma.

Girls more than a point hotter than you: I’m sure it’s not impossible, but very very hard though. If you’re regularly smashing these girls your game is amazing. Or you’re famous.

This then is the explanation of my success rate when compared to some very good PUAs. I’m younger than them and yet on average fuck women less attractive than them,

Looks aren’t the only thing that bares consideration when looking at success rates. There are various different ways to go about playing the game. Each has it’s own advantages and disadvantages. The two methods that will lead to the greatest disparity in success rate are approaching only off IOIs vs cold approaching the girls you want.

Approaching off IOIs alone goes like this. The player will wander around a large nightclub. He will pass by or stand near girls he likes and make a blatant attempt to get eye contact with them. If they reciprocate, he will approach. If not he’ll move on. In addition to this he’ll keep one eye open for any girls that meet his minimum attractiveness standard who may be giving him IOIS (proximity, eye contact). If he gets any IOIS he’ll approach. If he can’t get an IOI all night, he’ll either not approach at all, or resort to scanning for girls who are giving off general DTF signals, even if they aren’t aimed specifically at him.

In contrast to this, there is pure cold approach. This method sees our bold player approaching any girls he finds attractive, regardless of whether they’re giving off IOIs or DTF signals or not. He doesn’t wait for the green light, he goes for what he wants. At first this method may seem inferior to waiting for IOIs, but it has many advantages over it. There are many girls out there who don’t IOI you but who will fuck you if you approach them and game them correctly. They’ll just be more challenging than the girls who do provide you with the approach invitations. This means two things. Firstly, the guy who takes the harder path will almost certainly develop much better game in the long run. While the other guy finds himself gaming only easier yes girls, he will find himself gaming the harder to get maybe girls. Since the hottest fire forges the strongest steel, this leads to a greater ability in the long run. Secondly, although the cold approacher will experience a lower success rate as defined by the approach : lay ratio, he’ll probably achieve a far higher absolute success rate, as measured by total lays. Surely this is better? I know I for one care more about how many new women I get to see naked and fuck than the number of approaches it took make to get them. Don’t get me wrong, getting a better ratio is a very good thing, but not if it comes at the expense of quantity. Finally, since the girls at the top of your potential range will virtually always be maybe girls, the cold approach should see higher quality results.

The difference in success rate of the IOI approacher, and guys who approach women less attractive then them can be huge. Have you ever heard a guy saying he’s got a 10 : 1 success rate? This is obviously far better than the Torero / Krauser 40 : 1. Yet if a guy who is an 8/10 and who only does IOI based approaches on 7s and the occasional 8, he’ll easily get 10 : 1 success rate with maybe only moderate game. If however you’re a 6 approaching 7s / 8s cold, then it’s going to go down dramatically. A 6 with very little game cold approaching girls hotter than him will have an absurdly bad ratio.

Next time you hear people discussing success rates online, realise that it’s bollocks, as this magic number tells you very little.

 

Your Labour Is Rarely Wasted

Posted: August 27, 2014 in Uncategorized

I’ve found my game on a bit of a down swing of late. I have got no new notches in the past 6 weeks, only a couple of hand jobs. The three previous lays before that weren’t proper ‘game’ lays. They were things like four somes set up by my fuck buddy and from going to a sex club. It must have been around 10 weeks since I last legitimately gamed a girl into my bed.

In addition to this I haven’t been doing much online game or night game. I’ve been focusing almost completely on (failing at) daygame. I decided it was time to get laid again so in the past couple of weeks I’ve been on some Tinder dates and gone out a couple of times in the night. My game truly sucked.

It’s not like I’ve reverted back to my pre game self, but I’m significantly worse at everything than I was last year. My general conversational and social skills are stifled. My teasing is virtually non existent. My body language is less dominant. I move meekly through the club as opposed to being the lion sauntering through the savanna. Girls lead the conversation, and I’m shy to make my intentions known and go after the girl I want, content to just do the social chatting thing to the group. That’s the biggest thing I lack. The r-selected vibe, or the killer instinct as Good Looking Loser puts it. That last one’s a biggie. It’s often all the makes the difference between going home with the girl or going home to wank off to pornhub. The long and short of it is that I’ve let girls I feel I should have fucked slip through my fingers.

This dip made me doubt myself and all of the progress I have made thus far. Is my inner game really so weak that I could have regressed to a chode within a couple of months? I then realized, that although my inner game certainly needs a lot of work, this is an outer game problem. I’m simply out of practise. The knife is blunt.

This got me thinking about everything I had been doing during the times I was doing really well at game. At all the labour and practise that went in to being good. I looked at what I was doing in times leading up to great success that I wasn’t doing now.

For example. This year I’ve massively cut back on my socialising. Last year I was going out a lot to meet new people by going to social networking events. This year I haven’t. I told myself I hadn’t met many long term friends out of it. I was an introvert and so shouldn’t socialise much. I decided my time was wasted at such events, and as such I stopped going. Also recently I have not been approaching much or going on many dates, due to the fact I’ve almost completely cut out the online and night game.

The result of all this is where I am now. It suddenly dawned on my just how important all that time ‘wasted’ at social networking events was. Although I could see no direct positive result from it, the results became conspicuous by their absence when I stopped going. I now lack social skills and charisma that was slowly, but surely being built by attending these events.

I quickly realised that I obviously need to start attending these events again, in order to keep the knife sharp. The revelation went beyond this though. I realised that there have been so many things I have done that have seen like wasted labour to me, but looking back they were all honing my skills and keeping the knife sharp.

Many of the things you’re doing now to improve your game may seem fruitless if you aren’t getting results. Although I don’t object to someone dropping what is useless in the pursuit of something that gets results, I think applied effort in an endeavour is rarely wasted, even when people see little in the way of immediate results. Here are some things that you may do at the moment to improve your game, but at the moment think they amount to wasted time:

Going on day2s that don’t lead to sex or future dates Worst case scenario is that this is a learning experience of how not to do a day2. Your failure can give you clues on how to go wrong. The date is a great time to practise many parts of game: story telling, frame control, teasing, escalation. It’s a bit like a sparing match you didn’t win; you still need to do it for the practise.

Opening sets and getting blown out a lot This is how my daygame was going until quite recently. I could get 5 insta blow outs in a row. It seemed pointless at times, but it taught me how not to open sets during the day and I improved.

Getting flaky numbers Very frustrating, but teaches you an important lesson. Numbers on their own are worthless. You need to learn how to cultivate a girls intent to meet you again. Again a learning experience. It also creates the habit of closing girls you talk to.

Going out socialising when you don’t feel like it This is a big one for introverts like myself. Socialising can leave us drained and feeling like we got nothing out of it. In reality it helps us practise our social skills and state control. If you go out socialising twice per week compared to once per month, over the course of a year the difference in your game will be huge.

Next time doing that extra set or going to that friends party feels useless, remember, your efforts won’t be wasted even if you don’t see an immediate reward.

My Daygame Sticking Points

Posted: August 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

My daygame progress is slow, but I have finally reached a milestone. As you may recall from previous posts my main problem thus far has been approach anxiety. I had only been opening a few sets a session because of it. Recently this has changed, thanks mainly to BodiPua who gave me some advice on how to overcome it. The advice given was much the same as can be found in his post ‘The Poison Pill’. The crux is that for a beginner the first few sets (at least) of any session are hell. They shatter your nerves and generally go badly. This means that if an approach session only consists of a few sets, the newbie will be left with only negative reference experiences of daygame. This means that one should do longer sessions, with at least around 10 sets. This gives enough time to get warmed up, and the volume is sufficient to allow the budding PUA to experience at least some good sets each session. He can then go away from the session with the positive reference experiences which will allow the gradual reduction of approach anxiety.

The approach I actually used was to give myself a time limit within which an approach must be performed. As soon as I’d arrive at Oxford Street a 20 minute countdown would begin. If I did not approach within that 20 minutes I had to turn around and go home. After my first approach the timer would start again, and so on, with a break once every 2 – 3 approaches. I did run out of time on at least a few occasions after doing either one or no approaches. There is a mental hack at work when this happens. You feel as though you haven’t given up and decided to go home, yet rather you were robbed of opportunities to approach by the clock. I find this triggers a fear of loss, which has always motivated me far more than the anticipation of success. If I only have a couple of minutes left on the clock within which to approach, I now feel a fear which drives me to do the approach so I can continue the session.

I have broken double figures in all of the sessions I have done in the past month. Despite this I’m still not regularly getting dates, or even numbers. In order to discover my current sticking points I once again purchased a one on one with Gaydame. The great thing about daygame which is harder to accomplish than in nightgame is that a coach can wire you up and listen in on your sets, and record them for latter review. This leads to very accurate feedback. So I got mic’d up and headed into the field with my tutor. The result is that I now have a list of things I need to work on. To understand this, you need a rough idea of what the street stop portion of the London Daygame Model consists of. Here it is:

  1. Approach and kill momentum.
  2. If she doesn’t hook from just your opening, assumption stack until something hooks her.
  3. Vibe (banter) with her. Be upbeat, with a little teasing thrown in. Make the conversation mostly about her.
  4. As she invests more into the interaction, you tone everything down. Talk less, monotone vocal expression, less facial expressions. She invests even more in an attempt to fill the void.
  5. Commit her to a date, take her number.

With this in mind, my coach identified that I need to work on the following:

  1. Stop talking over the girl. I have a bad habit of getting overly enthusiastic when a set goes well, and as I result I often cut a girl of mid sentence. This stops me attaining point 4 of the model (getting her to invest), and also means I actually end up doing more work than I need to.
  2. Not leaving pauses in conversation. A man with confidence leaves many pauses in conversation. Not pausing also gets in the way of lettin the girl invest.
  3. Talking about myself too much, not enough about her.
  4. When they start asking unsolicited questions about me she is starting to invest in the interaction, and I need to dial down my responses, all the way to the point where I’m giving one word answers. This flips the script, with her doing most of the investment in the interaction instead of me.
  5. Being too fact based with the conversation. The conversation should be a way to communicate emotionally with the girl (from my masculine core, I’m sure Krauser would say), rather than just being an exchange of factual information. As I listened back to one of my sets on an MP3 player, I realised the conversation could have been two girls talking. The conversation was plutonic, devoid of masculine polarity on my part. To solve this I should inflame the girl’s emotions. Create a role for her, put her in it and then play around with it, Imagine the conversation is a canvas, and paint and exciting caricature on it of how I think her life / personality must be. An example of this would be one that Krauser often gives of talking to a Siberian girl , “So you live in a little wooden cabin in the deserted Siberian mountains. Every morning you have to go out to collect firewood so you can stay warm at night, but you have to be careful not to end u breakfast for one of the many hungry bears who live in the area”.

I’ve put these points in order of how hard I believe they are to achieve. The 5th is certainly quite hard. It requires imagination and a lot of thinking on my feet, as well as strong verbal skills which are certainly not my forte. I’ll tackle the points in the order shown, easiest first. I will make it my purpose over the next couple of weeks to tackle points 1 and 2.

Epic Fail

Posted: July 21, 2014 in Uncategorized

A while back a set a goal for the second quarter of 2014. This was part of my drive to achieve all of my 2014 goals. The goal to be completed by the end of June was to fuck a girl from daygame. As you may have gathered from the title of this post, I failed.

So why did I fail? I pretty much stuck to the sarging schedule I laid out, apart from the last month where I ran into some issues and tried some new things. The thing is I just so rarely open when I’m out sarging. I aimed to approach around 180 women, and ended up approaching only 60. From that I got a grand total of one instadate, a phone number, and 0 day2s. It’s almost laughably bad.

It all comes down to anxiety. I’ve always been quite a nervous person, and suffered from extreme AA for my first couple of years in nightgame. I though after conquering nightgame (at least to some extent), I’d face only a few teething troubles when starting daygame, then I’d soon be smashing hot young tourists I met wandering down Oxford Street with gleeful abandon. Turns out those few teething problems where a major road block, and as of yet, no tourists, young nor hot or otherwise, have been smashed.

The biggest blow to me isn’t that I haven’t achieved my goal. It’s that I now feel like game hasn’t given me the deep personality transformation I thought it had. I thought I had gained a lot of self esteem, but now I feel that I’ve just got more confident at approaching girls in clubs and escalating on dates. People talk about confidence like it’s the ultimate attribute a man can posses. In reality confidence is very situational. You feel confident within situations in which you are competent. Self esteem is the real goal. Self esteem is portable. It’s always with you and allows you to very quickly gain confidence in new situations. How to get it? Fuck knows.

At the moment I feel almost as if I’ve regressed to my pre game state of being. In an attempt to crack daygame I’ve started to remove everything I consider and impediment to it, everything that is part of my comfort zone, in order to spur me to action. So I don’t nightgame anymore. I don’t do online game. I’m slowly phasing out girls I’ve been seeing. When coupled with the fact I’m barely doing any daygame sets the result has been bad. I’m not seeing my wings any more. I’m not interacting with girls much. I’m spending more and more time alone. I’m very heavily introverted, so the result of this has been sinking into a state of heavily disinterested misanthropy. Even short conversations feel like a chore to me now. When coupled with my extreme AA, you can imagine how bad my vibe is when I actually do approach girls on the street. It’s no wonder I’ve got nothing out of my 60 sets.

With all of this I’m also very concious of the fact that as of last month I’m also a year older. At 32 I’m hardly past it yet, but unlike being 22 I don’t have the luxury of wasting any time. I need to crack this very soon or I miss my window.

I think cracking daygame is certainly possible for me. I’m just not sure I’m willing to spend 3 years on it. That was how long it took me to get decent in clubs, and right now it feels like I’ll have to do that all over again for daygame. If I don’t, I don’t think I’ll reach my full potential at game. I really feel that daygame will imbue me with some attributes I’m still missing, and push me over the threshold to the point where I’m fucking not just decent girls, but hot girls.

I’ve decided to do just one long day game session a week. I’ll spend up to 7 hours daygaming on either Saturday or Sunday. This gives me enough time to open lots of sets and take the poison pill.

Here’s a run down of progress on all of my other goals this year and how they’re progressing:

Sleep with 20 new girls

16 down, 4 to go. With over 5 months left of the year, this is coming along well.

Get my first day game lay

Still a long way to go. Having said that I think I had a possible SDL on my hands this week, but it went tits up. Going to force myself to open more sets and target 6s and some 7s to get the lay.
Fuck my first HB8+

I got a hand job in an allyway on a day 2 with an HB8 this week. This is the closet by far I have got to fucking a girl I’d classify as hot. She seemed really keen on a second date, and from her texts she was not far off asking for sex. Then she cancels our second date when I text her the morning of the date to confirm. Got a feeling I won’t see her again. She’s Muslim (Turkish), so maybe the escalation was all too much, too soon.
Save £2,500

Although I’ve only managed around £800 so far, that’s significant given that I’ve never saved money in my life before. In addition to this, I have joined my companies on call scheme. It means I’ll get an extra £500 gross every 6 weeks. After tax this will mean about £1800 by the end of the year. This cash is excess to my requirements and will easily be saved. This alone will allow me to hit this figure.
Visit Japan

Given up on this. It’s too incompatible with the point above. I went to Wales instead. Ha.
Get my front end development skills up to senior level

I’ve decided to focus more on Javascript development than front end in general. I think this goal was to vague, it’s hard to say when I’m done. So far I have done a moderate amount of work towards it, but I think I need to double my efforts on this in order to really count the goal as fulfilled. Ultimately, if my skills / example code is good enough to get the type of job I want early next year, then I’ve nailed this.

The Intermediate’s Trap

Posted: June 4, 2014 in Uncategorized

I’ve met many aspiring players over the years and have noticed a pattern in their development which I think of as the intermediate’s trap. The pattern goes like this:

  1. A guys is full on blue pill. He realises he sucks with women, and spends a lot of time being involuntarily celibate.
  2. The guy discovers game.
  3. Since the guy doesn’t get laid regularly, his physical and self esteem needs drive him to go out into the field and learn game. Progress is slow and littered with painful rejections and mini ego deaths. The desire to get laid and to be able to think of himself as the type of guy who’s good with women pushes him through the pain barrier.
  4. He gets some success. Enough to spur him on but not enough to sait his appetite. He pushes on and keeps improving.
  5. Occasional success becomes fairly regular.
  6. Our wannabe is now an intermediate player. He lays one girl every 1 – 2 months, giving him the same amount of sexual success in a year as some guys have in a lifetime. The girls he fucks range from being 1 point lower than him in looks, up to the same level. He rarely, if ever fucks girls more physically attractive than him. Despite racking up decent numbers, he has to put a lot if time and effort in per lay.
  7. His progress now flatlines. He remains at intermediate level permanently. He will never fuck the really hot girls, or fuck huge numbers in one year, or regularly get lays without putting in hours and hours of sarging. He has fallen into the intermediate’s trap.

After failing completely and giving up, this is the second most common outcome for a guy starting out in game. I’d say 85% guys fail, 13% become intermediates, 2% become truly great at it.

How does this happen? Our man went through what looks to be the hardest stage. This is the fiery crucible of regularly cold approaching girls for the first time. He kept going when for months he could barely even get a girl to have a 5 minute conversation with him. He kept going when virtually every number he took flaked. He kept going when he’d get girls out on dates, only to never here from them again after that. If he could keep going through all of this, then how does he manage to get stuck in such a rut later on?

The answer is two fold: a decline in motivation, and diminishing returns on effort.

When our guy first started out motivation was easy to come by. He’s faced with the option of either being successful at learning game, or being able to count the number of girls he’ll sleep with in the remaining 60 years of his life on the fingers of one hand. The choice between sexless loser and guy that gets the girl is an easy one that provides a lot of motivation. He keeps going at learning game because it’s the only option that provides him with any hope of a happy life. People say women won’t bring a man happiness. While this is true, I’d counter that by saying a man who isn’t regularly getting laid will be incapable of being happy. Pussy is high enough up on a man’s hierarchy of needs that it is a prerequisite of happiness.

Once he’s an intermediate, he then needs to be motivated to go from a good, above average sex life to one so amazing that he could write a book about it. While it’s easy to be motivated to go from terrible to good enough, it’s very hard to be motivated to go from good enough to amazing. This is because good enough is, well, good enough. There’s a huge leap in terms of self esteem and happiness to be gained by going from getting laid once every two years with a fatty to getting laid once every 6 weeks with an average girl. There’s a small gain in happiness and ego to be had by going from getting laid once every 6 weeks with an average girl to getting laid every other week with a hot girl. On paper getting laid that regularly with a hot girl seems like a huge motivational factor. In reality, once you’re regularly getting laid it’s much less of an issue. Your needs are being fulfilled so your drive declines. If you were to pay 100 people £100k a year for the rest of their lives (inflation adjusted…) what percentage of those people would carry on working and use that money to go on to become multi millionaires by building a business or wise investing? My guess would be well under 10%. These people have a good enough income for the rest of their days, and this will their drive to do better.

Then there are the diminishing returns on effort associated with going from intermediate to advanced. Notice earlier how I said when getting started the guy went through what “looks like” the hardest part. Those words were carefully chosen to express my belief that the better you get at game the harder it gets to improve. This is the same with most skills. When you start off at game it’s really obvious what you need to work on. Once you’re an intermediate it becomes much harder to work out what differentiates the advanced guys from you. Progress is slow, and often seems impossible.

I’m currently stuck in the intermediate’s trap. I want to get out, but my motivation for doing so is flagging. I have nowhere near the burning desire I had 5 years ago. But part of me really wants it. I see the hot girls and yearn to fuck them. So I’ll forge ahead.

Since I’m still stuck in the intermediate’s trap I may not be the best person to instruct others on how to get out of it, but here is a list of things I’m going to try:

  1. Actively harbour unhappiness at your current level of achievement. Compare the girls you fuck to the hot ones you see around, and notice how much better the hotter girls look. Let this make you unhappy, feel like you’re missing out. See guys who look no better than you with hot girls and get jealous and angry. Many of the emotions that mainstream society teaches us are negative are actually powerful motivators when harnessed correctly.
  2. Set goals which are just about realistic, but will stretch you. Put plans in place detailing how you intend to reach your goals. You may not stick to these 100%, but with out goals all you have dreams, and dreamers never achieve much.
  3. Become obsessed with getting better at game.
  4. Go back to basics. All the stuff you thought you’d mastered: Body language, conversational skills, push pull, text game, eye contact, vocal pace and tonality, fashion, fitness. There will be plenty of things which you no longer actively work on but could massively improve. I thought I spoke in an attractive way, but then I recently heard a recording of myself in set. I compared it to listening to the audio of a date with Tom Torero. Turns out I don’t sound nearly as much like an attractive man as I thought. Plenty to work on.
  5. Bring in professional help. A professional game coach may be able to help you work on your flaws and progress. Good one’s are hard to find, especially if you’re looking to move from intermediate to advanced. Caveat emptor.
  6. Do a physical, mental and lifestyle audit. Take stock of where you are in terms of life, personality, physical form and success. Measure this against where you want to be (not where society expects a man of your age should be). If you do this right all of your insecurities should start to come out of the woodwork at this point. There’s a huge risk here that your ego will create blind spots to cover up your biggest flaws. This process should help you work out what you need to do next.
  7. Write field reports. This isn’t so much for you to get advice from the internets on where you’re going wrong. It’s more about the fact that you think about things in a different way when you write them down as opposed to just in your head. You may spot some patterns you’ve been missing.
  8. Realise that you don’t know shit. Thinking that you’re already good at game will blind you to obvious weaknesses. It will stop you trying things you’ve dismissed as unnecessary.
  9. Keep pushing your comfort zones. Many noobs go on about pushing their comfort zones. Intermediate guys think that this doesn’t apply to them because they’ve been their and done that. In reality their success is just blinding them to the fact that they’re just in a slightly bigger comfort zone than the noob. They’ll only approach certain girls, in certain environment, and only use a certain set of techniques. Get used to being scared again by trying out new things. For me this means daygame, which still terrifies me.
  10. Start aiming higher. If you want to fuck hotter girls, you need to open lots of hotter girls.

Going from intermediate to advanced won’t be a quick thing. You’re not going to be an intermediate one day, then work at it for a while, then suddenly you hit the next level. It’s a gradual thing. You start getting girls slightly more often. Their quality increases. Not from 7s to 10s overnight, but maybe 7s to 7.5s one year, then to 8s and so on. If you stay the course you’ll just wake up one day realising you’re so much better than you were two years ago. And we are talking years rather than months. That’s the timescale for excellence.

I’ve written before how my aim in the second quarter of the year is to bang a girl from daygame. I still have around 5 weeks left, but given my progress so far it’s very unlikely I’m going to make it.

The main reason for this is I haven’t really thrown myself into it, heart and soul. I go out fairly regularly, but lack the drive to overcome my high levels of approach anxiety. Recently I read a post on Danger & Play about how you should become obsessed over your goal in order to achieve it. This resonated with me, as it brought back memories of every time I’ve achieved something meaningful that I wanted. Each and every time I would get obsessed by whatever it was I wanted until I had achieved my goal.

I wanted to regularly have sex with new girls so… Went out every weekend religiously for years. Wrote so many messages on online dating sites that I’m  a wordsmith when it comes to digital communications with girls. Read half a dozen game books. Improved my appearance and fashion. Read game blogs when I should have been working. Stopped being friends with people who weren’t red pill. Cracking the game was always at the front of my mind. Goal achieved.

I wanted to lose weight so… At 224lbs I was well over 20% body fat. Picked a fasting based diet. Fasted religiously, never eating even a second before the specified time. I eat no sugar (baring fruits) for months. I got used to feeling hungry some of the time and living with it. Got to the point where unhealthy food actually made me feel odd. Often did cardio in the mornings before work. Measured my bf every few days. Fat loss was always at the front of my mind. Lost about 55lbs in just under a year. Ended up at 12% body fat. Goal achieved.

I wanted a new job paying 20% more so… Did programming challenges every night. Studied up on my primary programming language to close down every gap in knowledge. Read practise interview scenarios while at work. Getting a new job was always at the forefront of my mind. Took two weeks of work. Did 7 interviews. Multiple offers. Goal achieved.

You can see the pattern, and then with day game…

I wanted to get my first day game lay… So I hired a coach and had sessions every few weeks. Went out a couple of times a week but did very few approaches. Often too tired from night game, or too busy with Tinder dates to go out. Want to read Krauser’s book and watch day game videos in my pare time, but end up focusing on learning a new work skill. Goal not achieved.

As you can see I’m no where near as obsessed as I need to be with day game. I realised earlier this month that I needed to turn day game from the vague want it is now into a need. I’ve started to put together a plan to help my brain lock onto and get obsessed with day game:

  • Quit all online dating
  • Rarely go out at night (twice a month to maintain friendships with night game wings)
  • Reduce frequency of masturbation to once a week
  • Spend a lot of time watching day game videos in my spare time
  • If there’s ever a conflict between the two, day game > gym

This will have the following consequences:

  1. Sexual release will be almost entirely dependant on day game success
  2. I won’t be too tired to do day game
  3. Day game will always be on my mind

I’m hoping that before the end of next month I’m completely obsessed.