Back to basics

Posted: May 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

Lately, I haven’t been doing as well as I could have when it comes to seduction.

I’ve been getting more initial interest from women than ever before in my life, but I am frequently unable to capitalize on it. Not getting the girls who are interested in you right off the bat does not make a good PUA.

I’ve had a thought about this, and have come to the conclusion there are two things wrong.

Firstly I’ve been ignoring the fundamentals of seduction. Because I’ve been getting a lot of initial interest from women, I’ve become a bit too arrogant in my approach to game.

I haven’t really been at all engaging or interesting to women. I at times come on too strong when I should be letting them chase, and at other times just show complete disinterest when I should be showing interest. It’s very much a case of what RooshV talks about in one of his posts. You reach the point where you just think your so awesome that you decide actually putting in effort to game girls is beneath you, so you don’t bother. Thing is, without gaming them girls don’t really ever get to see your awesomeness. It merely exists unseen within your own head.

The solution to this is simple. Put some strong gaming guidelines in place based on the fundamentals of game:

Proper date plans

  • Maximum of three drinks plus a venue bounce.
  • Use all of my old routines (What I look for in a woman, most embarrassing moment, if you could do anything with your life what would you do, if we were married future projection).
  • Try and figure out what type of person she is, take a genuine interest in this.
  • Go for the kiss 2/3rds of the way through. Just 1 – 2 kisses unless I really thinks she’s DTF that night.

Good online messaging

  • Go for the number on 3rd message, no messing around
  • Keep compliments to a minimum
  • No long over blown messages

Really limited use of humor

Better non verbals

  • Get out of the habit of crossing my ankles when I sit down
  • Slow down my voice, make it louder
  • More dominate vibe. Tell her what we’re going to do, dot ask permission

The second point is just a general sense of apathy I feel towards dating at the moment, and to a lesser extent towards life in general. For some reason I feel directionless, and that’s not the sort of man a woman wants.

When it comes to dating it’s simply that the excitement has gone from it. In the past two years I’ve been on so many dates, missed more girls than I can count, and fucked almost double the amount of women that I had in the entire rest of my life before then.

It’s just starting to become stale, and I think I’ve hit a plateau. In a way it feels like things are going well. I seem to do much better in the clubs than I have ever before. Despite this, I’m yet to f close a girl from cold approach this year. It’s all been online.

This is partly because I had a girl friend until 10 weeks ago and so wasn’t putting in much effort before then, partly because my standards have gone up and partly because I haven’t been out much recently. I think this apathy is also part of the problem.

I remember once writing a post about how I should non needy. I’ve now, thanks to this apathetic feeling, gone way past non needy and moved into complete I don’t give a fuck territory. I think it’s too much for many women. It’s good for initially attracting them, but beyond that most women want you to care about them. This is partly what the comfort phase of a seduction is about.

That’s what I’ve just realized I need to work on (blogging’s great; putting it all down in words leads to epiphanies like this). Building comfort. I’m going to hit the forums and get some advice on this area. Just have to make sure I stop myself swinging too far the other way into nice guy territory…

Oh and I fclosed another girl from online dating just at the end of last month (so my count was two for April, but didn’t make it onto the stats). I won’t be seeing her again.

———————————————

Stats since 1st May:
1 kiss closes
0 f closes

Comments
  1. [...] have never thought possible, like same day lays or banging your first stripper. For the first time your identity changes and your subconscious begins to accept you can be the guy who is good with women. The biggest risk [...]

  2. thealphalife says:

    “Thing is, without gaming them girls don’t really ever get to see your awesomeness. It merely exists unseen within your own head.” Yes. Just too true. Too easy to fall into that trap. Good post. Thanks.

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