I suck at day 2s

As I gradually get better and better at picking girls up in bars, clubs and on the street, a new sticking point is emerging. Day 2s. The facts are clear. So far this year I have had 7 day 2s from cold approach, and got only one lay as a result of those. Three of the girls out of the six I haven’t laid are still in my orbit, but I don’t hold out much hope.

This comes as a surprise to be because of my success with online dating day 2s. With online dating I went on dates with 10 girls, resulting in lays with 5 of the girls, and a handjob from a sixth. I’m looking at my online day2s and the cold approach ones to see what the difference is. The main factor does seem to be the hotness of the women. I’ve been on dates from cold approach with 8s, and I never met girls online who were that hot. This is probably the biggest factor. I honestly thought I was better than most the girls I met online. Really believing you’re higher value than a girl makes gaming her so simple. The hard part comes when you think the girl is too hot for you. It comes across in your behaviour in really subtle, but almost unavoidable ways.

I think I’m a lot more down to earth during my day2s now as opposed to when I was doing online dating. I often got called arrogant by girls I met online, but they still fucked me. I think maybe I need to add a touch of cocky asshole to my day2s. They just feel quite flat at the moment.

I have noticed that I seem to be quite in my head when I’m on a day2 with a girl. I’m always thinking what I should do next in order to win her over, or wondering how much she likes me or not. This is a bit how I used to be  when picking up girls in bars or on the street. I was stuck in my own head, second guessing my moves, worrying what the girl might be thinking about me. Now I am just starting to say and do pretty much what ever the fuck I want. And this is resulting in number closes and dates. In other words I just need to act the same as I did during the initial pickup on the day2.

The question that then arises is why am I so in my head on dates when I’m not when I’m out sarging? I think the answer is outcome independence. When I open a set I’m honestly not that bothered if it goes well or not. If  it doesn’t, I can just move onto the next set, or there will be another sarging session soon with more girls to hit on. So, when opening sets I am starting to internalize an abundance mindset, which leads to outcome independence. I know that any single set is unimportant because there are so many other sets. My day2s however are far more rare. I’ve been getting 1 -2 a month, which isn’t enough to stop my worrying about fucking up an individual date. I’m hoping my 100 sets of challenge will help here. If I open more sets I can be getting one day2 a week, which will allow me to chill out much more. Money is going to be an issue here. I will have to limit by day 2 expenditure to no more than £10 a time. This is possible. Just 2 rounds of drinks, drunk slowly. One at one venue, bounce, then she buys the next round. Or if it’s a nice day coffee / ice cream and a walk. I’m going to research cheap day2 opportunities in London. It’d be nice to go on 5 day2s and a few day3s a month, all for no more than £100. Any ideas for dirt cheap day2s?

I’m going to speak to my mentor soon about how to work towards detaching from the outcome on a date, so I can chill out and be more spontaneous, but I really do think the main thing is just dating more women.

This feels like the last major sticking point before my world becomes flooded with pussy.

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Stats since 1st July:
15 approaches
4 number closes
1 kiss close
0 f closes

I feel like this girl’s gaming me

I pickup a girl in one of London’s largest clubs. We’ll call her HBFrauline. The pickup is effortless. I walk by her booth as she’s sat with her friends and smile at her. She nudges my leg and I open with something I can’t remember. She stands up. Flirtatious banter ensuses. Kiss close within 5 minutes. I stay with her for about 4 hours. She gets drunk and starts getting quite dominant, dragging me around the club. There’s a lot of escalation. She’s got my hand down my trousers and I finger her a few times.

At one point she’s asking me if I have a girlfriend. I tell her it depends what she classes as a girlfriend. I remain aloof on the topic and she probes me for information, telling me the last guy she was seeing turned out to be married.

I remain relaxed, and make sure I don’t end up following her like a little puppy. It feels a bit like she’s taking the lead at times, but I never became her little bitch. Still this is unusual for me. Girls are often submissive with me. Since she’s drunk and seems to boss around most of her friends (both male and female) I don’t think much of it. At the end of the night I grab some food with her and her friends, then after she makes it clear that the SNL isn’t happening, I head home in the early hours. She is very insistent that I should call her the next day.

The next day she rings me. At this point I’m fairly certain that this is a great prospect. You don’t often get the girl calling you after the number close. We chat for 30 minutes.  She lives in an area of London which I like to go out in but haven’t been to for a while, so I set up a day 2 with her there of the following week. She texts me earlier in the week asking if it’s still on, telling me she’s looking forward to it and building rapport with me. So far things a going well, and it feels like fclosing her on the day2 is a very real possibility.

The day2 is when I start to feel like she’s gaming me.

We go out for a drink. I’m bantering with her and teasing her. Things are going well. Then I start to escalate. She gives me funny looks when I try and hold her hand, so I back off. Looking back on this now, this actually seems like a bit of a shit test. When a girl doesn’t want you to escalate her body language goes uncomfortable. Her’s didn’t, she just gave me a look. I should have ignored it.

She’s obviously interested, but playing it kind of aloof. She reminds me of me gaming all the girls I met via online dating. For example, when I said, “I had fun tonight” she just replied, “Good”, instead of saying she had fun to. That’s exactly what I would do to a girl I’m gaming. The end of the night was interesting. She refused my kiss close 3 times (this is despite the fact I fingered her the fast time I met her), but then at the bus stop she full on grabs me and starts passionately kissing me. Her hands go down inside my underwear, stroking my cock. I tell her I want her to show me her flat. She refuses. I remain playful, and tell her she should. She’s not having any of it.

We make vague plans to meet again, but she’s quite evasive on the days. She’s trying to be quite dominant, trying to get me to reserve nights for her when she ‘might’ be free. I’m having none of it though, telling her she’s being silly if she expects me to do that.

My read on the situation is that things escalated too far for her liking on the first night we met, and now she wants to put a break on things to show that she isn’t easy. Not sure how this one is going to play out, not sure I can be bothered to put the effort into laying this girl. That being said I’m trying to work towards an fclose every month, and she seems like my best (only) option.

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Stats since 1st June:
14 approaches
2 number closes
1 kiss close
0 f closes

Bar pickup – Part 2

Read Part 1

So I have a day2 set up with HBLith, but I realise I have basically no money left till pay day. This is something that’s continually getting in the way of my game. I decide a coffee date would be the cheaper option, so I go for that.

I meet her in central London after work one day, having told her that I know a great independent coffee shop nearby. As soon as she arrives I realise I can’t actually remember where it is (I’d only been there once before). I tell her we’ll go this way and we start to walk. Always be leading confidently, even if you don’t know where you’re going. Which I didn’t.

We end up in a crappy little Starbucks. Starbuck’s places can be OK, but this one’s tiny and all the tables a dirty. Fuck. A change of plan is needed, so I take her for a walk in a near by square. We sit drinking our coffee for nearly an hour. I do all the standard stuff. Find out about her passions, future projection, all mixed in with mild teasing. I try once to sexualize the conversation but she ignores it. We are getting on well but there’s no fireworks yet.

I tell her it’s time to go home. She looks a bit surprised, “Already?”, she says. Maybe I should have ended the date here. Leave her wanting more. I decide I would like a drink and to go for the K close, so I say, “Well we’ll stop at the pub before the tube station of course”.

We go to a semi decent bar, getting there in time for happy hour. After getting the drinks in I go to sit in a booth. I realise at this point I should be more physical. I should guide girls around on day2s with my hand on their back. It creates a “we’re together” frame, and helps build attraction by leading. She says something about sitting in some other seats. I look over at where she’s pointing. It’s two chairs with a table between them. Fuck that, I think, I want to get physical. “No, here” I say sitting down in the booth.

She sits down next to me and we chat. I’m having a good time and getting a bit touchy feely. She responds well verbally, but is luke warm physically. I go for the kiss anyway and am denied. I handle the rejection like a boss. I tell her to get the second round in. So far things are going so-so, but I’m not exactly rocking her world. During the second round of drinks I’m denied the K close again. That’s the third time from this girl. I’m starting to get impatient, and this is when things go wrong. I tell her I’m confused as to why she won’t kiss me, because I know she finds me attractive. The self is always coming through, and here I’m showing her my insecurity. Bad. She tells me she isn’t attracted to me. I continue to dig myself deeper by asking her what she thinks of me. I’ve done this before and it’s really bad. I have determined that this will be the last time I do this. What a girl thinks of me just isn’t relevant to me. She tells me she thinks I like to act tough. This makes no sense, I’ve never played the tough guy. I do, however, think that acting confidently isn’t yet congruent with what’s going on in my own head, and this is probably what she’s picking up on. This is probably what most girls I date but don’t F close are picking up on.

I end the date. She agrees to a day3, but flakes 90 minutes before we’re meant to meet. She is very responsive too my texts, but I sense it’s just not going to happen with us, and so I ask my mentor for his advice. He tells me that if girls come straight out and tell you that they’re not attracted to you, they probably mean it. Since she still seems interested in hanging out with me, he recommends I friendzone her.

He reasons that a guy with good dating options (like a guy with game needs to pretend he has, even if he hasn’t) wouldn’t continue to chase this girl. To do so after she has said she’s not attracted to me would be a sign of desperation, which isn’t attractive. The only reason a guy with good game would spend more time with this girl would be if he had placed her firmly in the friendzone. He also points out that due to female psychology (women want what they can’t have), friendzoning her might actually make her start to chase me sexually. If this happens I’ll go for it, if not I’ll just keep her as a friend. Either way I’m not going to actively pursue sex with this girl any more. I’ll probably see her again, but this set is now closed.

Luckily, I now have a new target in play…

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Stats since 1st June:
7 approaches
1 number closes
1 kiss closes
0 f closes

My day 2 with a stripper – Part 1

Many people within the seduction community consider picking up strippers in a strip club to be the very pinnacle of game. Last night I achieved just that, but I certainly don’t feel like an mPUA.

In all honesty I think it would be fairer to say I got picked up by a stripper. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me set the scene.

It’s central London, 1:30am on Saturday night. I’ve just had a bad night in a club. I bottled it early in the night and didn’t do any approaches when the club was still calm. On the plus side I’m getting better at opening men. Good for the social vibe, I guess. I tried a couple of dance floor pulls, both of which ended in swift and brutal rejection.

On my way to the bus stop I passed by a large strip club, and figured there’s nothing like hot women shaking their asses at me to make me feel better, so I head inside.

Once in there I immediately recognise Beckster. He’s been in the community for over a decade, does this stuff for a living and is considered Britian’s top mPUA. We chat for a while, and he tells me I need to ‘earn’ my ego in order to get over my AA. I think the point he was trying to make is need to break my ego down. With no ego approaching is easy. I watch him game some of the strippers. He’s good. Very Mystery Method, very gamey. But good. He pulls it all off without seeming weird or try hard, and the girls seemed to respond well.

I had a couple of dances, then decided to prop up the bar for a bit before having one more dance and going home. That’s when HBStripper approached me.

So she hit me with the usual, “Are you having a good night” style patter. Then the conversation goes like this:

Her: So why are you here tonight?
Me: Why do you think?
Her: I don’t know. You are too good looking to be here
Me: Good looking guys like lapdances too, you know
Her: But you are handsome enough to get all this for free. And not just dances, but everything.

I assumed she was just buttering me up before asking for me to buy a dance. Then she started talking about how she wants to go home, an is pissed off with all the customers bringing her mood down. This is what got my attention. I’ve only been to strip clubs a few times in my life, but she really seems to be ditching the script here. I’ve read a little on forums about pulling in strip clubs, and the consensus seems to be that when the girl stops being a dancer, throws away the script and starts being herself, that’s when you’re in.

We talk more and it turns out she’s been watching me since I got there. We have some minor comfort chat, and just as I’m wondering whether I can close her or not, she asks me out for coffee the next day. At first I say I’m not sure and probe for more personal info on her (her real name for starters). I then agree to the coffee, and take her number.

Before leaving I buy one dance from her. She has a tight body with a cute little ass. She must be 30, and her face shows signs of ageing. Despite this her ass and the fact she’s a lap dancer has won me over. I leave looking forward to our day 2.

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Stats since 1st May:
0 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes