Archive for January, 2010

It’s goal setting time

Posted: January 28, 2010 in Uncategorized

In my last post, I said that’d I’d be focusing on overcoming my approach anxiety. I came to the conclusion that the best way to do this was to inoculate myself by making repeated approaches. I decided that targets must be set to ensure progress. My one PUA related goal for next month is as follows:

Make 50 approaches during February

It may not seem like much, but it’s a short month. I’m looking to be sarging around 8 times in the month which means I’m going to have to do 6/7 approaches a time. The adrenaline will flow and the mind will tremble but it’s all going to be worth it.

I did some day (well night but on the street) game today around High Street Ken and Oxford Circus. Will post a detailed field report at the weekend.

For now I challenge you, dear reader, to set some goals. Share them with me and the world and let us know how you get on.

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I went on my first night out sarging on Friday, and it was fucking terrifying.

Game sounds great when you read all the books. Then when faced with real life, honest to god, flesh and blood women the approach anxiety hits. So you see a woman you like. You know if you are ever to be the master PUA you aspire to be that you must approach her. If you don’t open,  then you can never close. But the fear sets in. Your stomach burns. Your mouth goes dry. Every step towards your target feels laboured, like you are slowly wading through treacle. Why does this happen?

Approach anxiety is something nearly all aspiring PUAs face. Getting through it is almost a rite of passage, a price you pay for entry to the game. There are two main reasons for AA:

  • Social anxiety: You fear that your target will reject you, and this will humiliate you in a social setting hence crushing your ego. A big part of this is also simply not knowing what to say in order to initiate a conversation with a complete stranger.
  • Built in survival instinct: Once upon a time, back when we lived in caves, trying to initiate mating with a female who already belonged to another man could lead to a fight to the death. For this reason men have developed a healthy fear of approaching women in order to preserve our lives. The more attractive the woman, the more likely she is to have a mate. This explains why AA is stronger when approaching a HB10 than when approaching a fatty.

These points partly explain why alpha males get more women. They are very confident and so experience less social anxiety than betas. They also have more faith in their ability to fight / talk off the woman’s existing mate. As a side note, my experiences seem to indicate that alphas simply don’t think ahead as much as betas, and this is one of their main sources of confidence. If you never think ahead you can never see the potential negative outcomes in a situation. Ingorence begets confidence dear reader.

So have I overcome my aproach anxiety? No way, not yet. I only made three approaches in three hours. Until I can overcome approach anxiety I am doomed to fail at pick up. What to do?

I have decided the only way to proceed is to focus on the approach, and ignore everything else. Building attraction, building comfort, removing to a seduction location are all worthless if I can’t approach.

So I will focus on opening alone until I lose my approach anxiety. This may mean that my encounters with women are short lived, as I have no follow up material. I’ll maybe chat to a woman for a minute before I make my excuses and leave. Even for a premature ejaculator like myself a minute isn’t nearly enough to get anywhere with a woman, but I feel it must be this way in order to cure my AA as quickly as possible. I’m a big believer that great things can be achieved by breaking big goals down into tiny micro goals and just taking things one step at a time. This will be my approach towards game.

The overall strategy will be: incoulate myself from approach anxiety by repeatedly approaching women.

To ensure progress I will set targets for the number of approaches I must make per session / week / month. I will build up to the point where I have done hundereds of approaches by around mid April. This is quite significant, as I have only approached around 10 women in my whole life up to this point. So in the next 3 months I will approach around twenty times more women than I have in the 10 years of my adult life.

Key points I have learned:

  • Approach anxiety is a very powerful, molevelant force. It must be overcome at all cost or you will make no progress.
  • Most women actually seem fairly receptive to being approached by a man in a bar.
  • Confidence comes from not thinking things through too much in the heat of the moment.
  • You must set clear, written performance targets in order to progress.

Even the Lone Ranger wasn’t really ‘lone’ because he had Tonto.   I don’t want to be a lone wolf when I go out sarging. It would seem a bit too Dexter Morgan stalker-ish of me. To be out hunting for women in the bars and clubs of the Square Mile alone just doesn’t seem right.

I need backup. I need a partner in crime. In short, dear reader, I need a wingman.

The Lone Ranger

I don't want to be like him. I think it's the mask that puts me off.

A wingman servers a number of purposes for the aspiring PUA such as myself.

Firstly they serve as company. It’s nice to have someone with you during those many long hours of sarging. Secondly, they are also both your master and your apprentice at the same time. They will notice flaws in your game that you will not, and visa versa. Lastly they serve as a cock blocking block. This last one seems very important. I believe that all these factors combined mean that cruising with a wing can dramatically up your fclose rate.

So I’ve set up to find a wingman. My first thought was obviously my guy friends. Unfortunately, they are all LTR’d up or married (suckers). That leaves me the internet. I looked to the gods of the world wide web to provide a wingman for me, and fuck me if it doesn’t feel like online dating.

It took me a while to find some sites to post a listing to. I have tried PAIR on the Fast Seduction website. Although at first it seemed like just the thing I soon realised that the listings there don’t have a date on them and can be up to 2 years out of date. When people realise this it means they’re not going to reply to any ads, hence rendering the system useless. I’ve finally found some forums to post on, but have yet to get a response. It was only yesterday I posted but already I’m all like, “What if no one likes me?”, “Did my post seem too needy?”.

As I said, it feels like online dating. I’ll have to put the self doubt to the back of my mind. They are beta thoughts, and I am, after all, a recovering beta.

First post.

The journey begins

Posted: January 11, 2010 in Uncategorized

Different guys tend to respect differing qualities in other guys. For example, some men respect a man who can fight, while other’s think this is just a bit too primal and so aren’t impressed. Other men respect a man who can make loads of money in business, but other’s believe this to be overly capitalist and not the true value of a man’s worth. There is one quality that nearly all men universally respect in other men though. The ability to repeatedly and effortlessly woo women.

Being able to seduce women with ease always seems to people to be an innate ability that just can’t be taught. Either you’re born with buckets of charisma and can make women swoon with a mere look, or you can’t. Like it’s just luck of the draw in life’s genetic lottery.

This is what most people think, and I only recently discovered that they were wrong.

It turns out picking up women is the same as playing the violin, being a good fighter or being good at maths. Yes, some people have a natural talent for it, but all these are skills that can be learned.

I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let me tell you my story. Since it’s a quite unremarkable story I’ll be brief so as not to bore you. You’ve probably already heard this story before. Not the exact same thing, but almost. On blogs just like this one. Hell, this is probably going to sound just like your story. This is because, dear reader, I expect I am very similar to you.

I was never that popular at school. I wasn’t a total outcast or anything, but at the same time not at the top of the social pecking order by any means. This didn’t seem to bother me much until I hit 14. That’s when the testosterone really started to kick in for the first time and I began wanting to fuck every pretty girl in the school. This would have been fine, except I soon found out that the feeling wasn’t reciprocated. Not only was it not reciprocated by the odd girl, it seemed that the entire female population of the school didn’t want anything to do with me sexually.

This was a source of immense frustration. While wondering why this was, I noticed that nearly all the girls went for the same guys. The super arrogant, super popular minority of guys which I despised. I was (god help me) nice, they weren’t and yet these same few guys fucked all the good looking girls at school. I obviously just assumed they were naturally popular and good with the ladies. I was later to find out that these guys were what people would call alpha males, while I was very much a beta male. The alpha males get laid with ease, beta males have to get lucky

I went on thinking that’s the way life would always be for me. Sure, I got laid occasionally, but not often enough and the girls often weren’t that attractive. Then at the end of last year I heard about game. Mentions of it here an there in forums. Email newsletters about it. Whole websites devoted to it. Turns out there are many other guys out there who started off as beta males just like me. Then they learnt the art of game, and were able to use it to pick up and bed beautiful women at will. They were pick up artists.

So I purchased a copy of the Mystery Method from Amazon and read it intently. I vowed from then on to no longer be a frustrated beta male. I would use game to change myself and forge a new identity. I would transition from beta to PUA.

So that’s where I am now. I have done some studying and I am ready to field test what I have learnt in some of the many bars and clubs that litter the streets of London. I still have so many questions. I really don’t know where to begin other than going out and trying it.

This is what makes this blog a bit different. Most PUA blogs seem to be written by people who are already pretty competent in game. This one is written by a neophyte. So I invite all you other guys who are just like me to join my in a journey. To stop being that guy who never gets the girl. Learn from my successes and from my failures. Use what I find out when taking on the sexual market place to help you with your own game.

This isn’t just the start of a journey, it’s a call to arms. It’s time for us together to stop being betas, and become pickup artists.

Then, dear reader, we shall all be swimming in a sea of pussy.