May: PUA goals (not quite) achived and lessons learned

Posted: June 8, 2010 in Uncategorized

So I am very mindful that this is the 3rd month in a row (out of 4) in which I haven’t achieved my goals. Despite this I did feel like I moved forward a fair bit this month. So, without futher ado, here is my progress for the month of May:

50 openers: 16 achieved
10 situational openers: 10 achieved
10 transitions: 7 achieved
5 DHVs: 6 achieved
10 FTCs: 4 achieved
5 5 minute sets: 5 achieved
2 10 minute sets: 4 achived
Master is kissing cheating opener: done
Create new opener: done (internet dating opener)

In addition to this, I also kiss and number closed once.

Lessons Learned

1. I’m actually building attraction in some cases and not realising it. I’m missing IOIs, and not esculating enough once I’ve been getting them. Once a girl has been giving you IOIs for a while without you reciprocating, she will take this as rejection. This means I have accidentilly ‘rejected’ a few girls.

I really need to watch out for IOIs, because at the moment missing them is getting me blown out. In general, when you first cold approach girls they tend to be at best neutral towards me. Just the fact that they are still talking to you and laughing at your jokes after 5 minutes in itself is a fairly big IOI. I think it’s wrong to always assume girls who react well to you are just friendly. In many cases this positive reaction is caused by their attraction towards you.

2. It’s fairly easy to kiss close a girl in a bar. We don’t live in Victorian times anymore. Kisses don’t seem to mean a great deal to many women these days, so it should be quite easy to kiss close girls in bars. A half decent PUA should be kiss closing most nights he’s out sarging. I need to push harder towards this.

3. I seem to do much better in sets where I’m winging for someone than in the sets I open myself. I often seem to be able to build attraction with the obstacle I’m occupying while my win works the target. I think this is because in these cases, I don’t feel under any pressure to build attraction. Feeling relaxed allows me to build attraction much more easily. Relaxation is certainly the key, but just relaxing is much easier said than done.

4. I’m being way too picky about which sets I open. I have realised I mainly only open 2 sets, and the occasional 3 sets. Also i generally don’t open sets containing 9s and 10s. I need to push myself to open more 3 sets and to open 4 sets, while ignoring how beautiful the girls in the sets are.

5. Banter is a cornerstone of game. I’ve been focusing on trying to get through sets by stacking through routines. This makes it really hard to get a good, flowing conversation going. It’s hard to relax until I’m in a conversation like this, and as I’ve mentioned previously I do much better when I’m relaxed. I really need to build up my bantering / conversational skills. To do this I am going to start going speed dating. I don’t think I’ll get any dates out of this, but speaking to 20 women I don’t know for 4 minutes each over the course of an evening will aid my conversational skills.

6. I need to lead a more interesting life. This will give me more things talk about with women, and will make me more attractive to them. At the moment my only real hobby is game. I do tango classes, and that can be a great thing to talk about, but I need more. I am currently on the lookout for hobbies which are both interesting and will expand my social circle.

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