Archive for July, 2010

Social adeptness

Posted: July 15, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Yesterday evening I went to a social event where I didn’t know many people, and the few people I did know I’m not all that well aquiented with. Although I didn’t try to run game on any of the women there, I was interested in how I handled myself socially. Being able to be Mr. Sociable and draw an hold peoples attention is so vital to being good at game, so this is important to me.

I did notice that I have changed socially since starting game. I used to get very nervous prior to attending social gatherings, unless it was just going to be my closest friends present, but this has gone now. In addition to this I used to be a wallflower, who would just briskly answer questions when addressed. I’m now much more chatty, and I’m not afraid to start my own conversational threads, even occasionally cutting other peoples when they get boring.

Some negative points I noticed about myself:

– I spent a lot of time fiddling with my umbrella. Fidgeting like this makes it appear that I lack confidence.

– My voice often isn’t loud enough. If people don’t always hear what you say when you’re stood in a small group this looks really weak. A loud voice commands attention, and is an attraction trigger in women. I do need to work on this, but I can feel uncomfortable speaking louder than I’m used to. I guess this is an inner game issue.

– My body positioning can be awkward, like my feet seem to move away quite often, like I want to walk off. This makes me appear uncomfortable in my own skin. This usually happens when I get bored, but I still need to get more comfortable around people I do t know.

– I still do care / think about how other perceive me a little, although far less than I used to, and probably a lot less than many other people do. I am on my way to blissful indifference, but its a tough one. I think this just comes with meeting lots of new people. The more people you meet, the less significance you place on any one persons reaction to you.

– I didn’t work the room. I got comfortable with one group of people and stayed there all night. Being able to move from group to group and interact well with lots of different people shows good social adeptness, and is an attractive quality in a man.

– I didn’t have many interesting things to say. This is at the heart of all of my other problems. If you have interesting things to say, you will speak louder and more confidently, and without fidgeting. I did notice that men who had even vaguely interesting thugs to say could command people’s attention much more easily, and got better responses from women in terms of body language and eye contact. Being able to command even a small audience seems to be a very attractive quality in a man. I think being able to present even mundane things in an interesting way is the key skill here. There is a good section in Jugglers book on how to do this, and I plan to study up on this over the weekend.

All in all I’m getting there socially, but I still have a way to go before I’m a social butterfly.

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Stats since 1st July:
15 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

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Chasing that loving feeling

Posted: July 11, 2010 in Uncategorized

When a set goes really well, it just feels like you and the girl are bouncing off each other. She’s laughing at everything you say and touching you a lot. She’s attracted to you and it’s a good feeling. So good in fact that I find myself trying hard to replicate it in every set I open in bargame.

Thing is I’m trying too hard, and that’s what’s blowing me out. I try and force the girls into flirting with me by using excessive humour, cocky funny and sarcasm. This doesn’t work because they just aren’t attracted enough to me to start flirting with me yet.

This is one of the big rules of game: don’t be a try hard. Never try to force a specific reaction.

In the first 5 – 10 minutes of a set I need to just focus on having a normal abc conversation with the girl, including letting her change the direction of the conversation sometimes. As long as I don’t resort to standard AFC style interview questions (I have got good at not doing this) I should be OK just shooting the shit with them. I can then pepper this conversation with the occasional canned DHV routine or DHV story.

If she seems to be responding well after about 10 minutes, then I can up the flirtatious humour a bit and attempt to qualify and close.

I think as I’m getting less and less introverted every day this is also something I need to watch out for in daily life. I often try and turn everything into a joke instead of just chatting normally and taking interest in people. This isn’t good. I know jokers like this and they just get really boring very quickly. I don’t want to be that guy.

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Stats since 1st July:
15 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

An addition to my blog

Posted: July 10, 2010 in Uncategorized
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You may have noticed I have been blogging a lot more recently. This is because I’ve taken to writing posts on the tube when going to and from sarging sessions.

I have now hit upon the idea of adding a footer to each blog post giving you my sarging stats so far that month, at the time of writing the post. The idea came to me reading http://krauserpua.com/ . He says he used to have something similar on his blog. I hope this will increase my accountability in terms of pulling my finger out and making progress faster.

So, for the first time here it is dear reader:

Stats since 1st July:
10 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

Now let’s see if I can’t get rid of some of those fucking zeros.

Daygame again

Posted: July 10, 2010 in Uncategorized
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I’m just on my way home from completing another stint of daygame in Covent Garden. I was hoping to do 6 approaches in 2 hours, but only managed 3 in 70 minutes before calling it a day and heading home. I decided I had some things I needed to do before heading out tonight for my Saturday bargame session.

I have got slightly better in terms of AA I think. This has been my progression:

1. 3 hours, 0 approaches
2. 3 hours. 0 approaches
3. 3 hours, 3 approaches
4. 2 hours, 3 approaches
5. 70 minutes, 3 approaches

So it’s been slow going, but I am making progress. I think the next logical progression is 3 approaches in an hour. I will aim to do this tomorrow.

I still haven’t managed to get a girl to stop. Usually they just stop for the briefest second, then smile / laugh when I deliver my opener and just walk around me.

Once I can open around 10 girls in 2 hours I will start to work on getting them to stop. I think the key to this is transitioning quickly then ploughing through. A girl isn’t going to know what to say to such a direct opener. Unlike opinion openers direct openers don’t have the effect of starting a conversation, so an immediate transition is a must.

Although I do still have some bargame approach anxiety, I think I can approach much more consistently now. My biggest problem at the moment is feeling uncomfortable in set.

When in set my default frame is that I am hassling the girls and they want me to leave. Strangely, this is true even if the girls seem quite happy that I’m there chatting to them. The effect of this is that I feel uncomfortable talking to them. This manifests itself outwardly as nervous laughter and fidgety body language. The girls pick up on this vide, and it can easily make them feel uncomfortable too.

How to fix this? I’m really not sure. I obviously have to change my frame from, “They don’t want to talk to me, they want me to go away” to, “They are enjoying my company” or even better, “I just don’t care”. The latter frame is probably the best. Indifference wins when it comes to pickup.

Reframing each interaction like this is going to be so important to my success, but is easier said than done. It’s something I will have to give more thought to now I have identified this problem.

No, dear reader, I’m not worried that I might be gay.

When talking about pickup, people always stress the importance of being comfortable giving of a sexual vibe to girls. They have to know that your a man who is contemplating animalistically violating them. If you don’t do this you risk being seen as a harmless beta drone, and ultimately get turned into a LJBFed orbiter.

So here my problem arises. Today I realized just how uncomfortable I can get when I know a girl can feel the full force of my sexual intent, no matter how subtly conveyed.

I’m at my weekly tango class, dancing with an HB8 that I’ve danced with in previous weeks. We’re just saying hi to each other, and she is asking me how I’ve been. I cut her dead, “You know, you have the cutest little voice. It’s kind of cockney, but not quite”. She giggles and grips my arm tighter. IOI.

We talk about where we’re both from. Just after this she’s getting her steps wrong, “Sorry, was distracted. It was the interesting conversation”. IOI. We continue dancing and she’s staring deep into my eyes. Girls at tango class don’t often do this. IOI.

I hold her eye contact as we dance. She’s a cute blonde with a very tight body. Her short skirt shows off her well formed legs. I continue looking deep into her pretty eyes as I imagine grabbing her legs behind her knees, lifting her up and sticking my cock deep into her hot, wet cunt. I’m now eye fucking her hard. She holds my sexual gaze. In a bar it’d be kiss close time.

Then it happens. I feel the blood rush into my cock. In seconds it’s rock hard. My intent is nothing but sexual at this stage. But I stop and think about where I am. I’m at tango class. This is like an official thing, almost like work or school. I have to see her again next week. Her body keeps bumping into mine. Soon she’s going to realize I’m rock hard for her right in the middle of her tango lesson. My sly smile turns into and awkward one. I just can’t handle my sexuality in this setting like I can in a bar.

Context is king.

I think I need to get comfortable seducing women in any context. I must be comfortable with my sexuality at all times if I am to truly be an alpha male.

I didn’t get any responses I sent to my wings about sarging tonight so looks like I’m solo. There were 3 weekend nights last month where I didn’t go out due to lack of wingmen, but I have decided I can’t hold back my progress by not getting out there and opening some sets just because I have to go solo.

Solo sarging fucking scares me. To the point where I’m nervous about the night out from the time I start getting ready at home. Not good for my state. I don’t know many people who will sarge solo. This shows it’s not just some random hangup I have about this.

I really think this fear of solo bargame is in part due to social conditioning. My anxiety about daygame is the same whether I’m solo or with wings. It literally makes zero difference. This is because walking around crowded streets and shopping areas during the day is considered normal. If it wasn’t people could never leave the house on their own. Bars are a different story. Except for maybe the occasional old man propping up the bar on his own, people never really go to bars on their own at night time. If they did, it would be socially acceptable, and so I’d probably feel a lot less anxious about going it solo.

I’m just going to have to stop being a pussy and get over it. Wish me luck tonight, dear reader.

I’m too fucking lazy

Posted: July 8, 2010 in Uncategorized
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I’ve come to the conclusion that my laziness is holding back my game. While it’s true that I’m out almost every Friday and Saturday night, I am missing many other opportunities to sharpen my skills.

For example I planned to do two after work day game sessions this week, but I flakes on both of them. In addition to this, for months now I have been saying I will get 10 attraction routines canned and ready for use in the field. So far I have 5 written down and 2 canned.

I need to get busy. Tonight I will make sure I have my 10 routines ready to go. I will set myself a PUA theory schedule. At the moment I spend too long just reading PUA blogs / articles which won’t actually help me in the field. I’m going to get more focused on learning stuff that I need to know. I’m also going to schedule 3 after work daygame sessions for next week. I’ll put them in the calendar, because in my mind that strengths my commitment to doing them.

To all aspiring PUAs: don’t be so fucking lazy.

More Daygame

Posted: July 3, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Last week I wrote about how fucking scary direct approach daygame is. Last week on Covent Garden I managed to approach just 3 sets over the course of 3 hours. To improve on this I set myself the goal of doing 6 approaches in 2 hours this week. If I didn’t manage it I would stay out until I had done 10 approaches as a punishment.

I only managed 3 approaches in 2 hours. Since it was getting late and I’m also doing bargame tonight, I decided I couldn’t stay and do the 10. I know dear reader. Excuses! I do take some comfort in the fact that 3 approaches in 2 hours is better than my attempt the previous week.

At the moment (and probably until I’ve made 50 – 100 direct approaches) I am only looking to deliver a direct opener, not to hook the set. It really is just a case of walking up to the girl and saying the opener (“I just had to stop you and tell you that you look gorgeous”). Despite this I am already starting to notice mistakes I’m making and realizing what is required in order to hook sets using this type of approach.

My mistakes:

1. Not smiling
2. My voice tone. It’s hard to describe this one. My voice seems to almost indicate that I’m asking permission from the girl to say the opener. The pitch and tone seems a bit submissive and just seems to subcomunicate, “I’m saying something a little bit outrageous to you. I hope it’s ok with you though”. I need my voice to be more manly and more certain. I’m sure this will come as my daygame AA lessens.

I think hooking sets well using direct approach daygame depends on creating a certain feeling in the girl. The girl has to feel that this is a spontaneous, romantic comedyesque magic moment. She has to really believe that you just suddenly noticed her, and that her beauty compelled you to stop her. In other words your voice, facial expressions and body language must make your opener appear really authentic and not canned. This is also important in bargame, but I think it’s critical to direct approach daygame.

For now I just need to work on upping the frequency and volume of my approaches. I’m going to do 3 day game sessions next week. Two will be 90 minute sessions after work, and then another 2 hour session on Saturday. I will open 12 sets in total during these sessions.

Wish me luck, and I’ll keep you updated.

July PUA goals

Posted: July 3, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Due to me failing to achieve my PUA goals last month, this months are very similar.

I’ve got to the point now where I can open and then transition into a full conversation a reasonable percentage of the time. My main sticking point now is building attraction.

This is different to my previous sticking points, as it’s not so much an anxiety issue that’s all in my head, bit rather a matter of not yet having the skills required to build attraction. To make matters worse, this is something that isn’t just dependent on me. The girl has to feel attraction for me. It’s something I can encourage by my actions, but not something which I can force to happen by strength of will alone.

I’m going to use the following techniques to build attraction:

– Humour / flirtation
– A challenging / qualifying frame
– Push / pull
– Kino escalation
– DHV routines

I am already getting used to using the first 3 techniques. Where I am failing is the kino escalation and the DHV routines.

60 Openers
10 Situational Openers
2 Male Set Openers
2 Mixed Set Openers
10 FTCs
20 transitions
15 DHVs
10 Kinos
3 Qualification Attempts
3 Number Close Attempts

The main difference here from last months goals is that the qualifications and number closes are attempts. I can’t really control whether I’m successful in these attempts, but I can control making the actual attempt. This means I makes the most sense to base the goal on attempts, not actual outcomes.

Wish me luck with these goals, I’ll do an update at the end of the month.