My biggest problem at the moment

Posted: July 10, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Although I do still have some bargame approach anxiety, I think I can approach much more consistently now. My biggest problem at the moment is feeling uncomfortable in set.

When in set my default frame is that I am hassling the girls and they want me to leave. Strangely, this is true even if the girls seem quite happy that I’m there chatting to them. The effect of this is that I feel uncomfortable talking to them. This manifests itself outwardly as nervous laughter and fidgety body language. The girls pick up on this vide, and it can easily make them feel uncomfortable too.

How to fix this? I’m really not sure. I obviously have to change my frame from, “They don’t want to talk to me, they want me to go away” to, “They are enjoying my company” or even better, “I just don’t care”. The latter frame is probably the best. Indifference wins when it comes to pickup.

Reframing each interaction like this is going to be so important to my success, but is easier said than done. It’s something I will have to give more thought to now I have identified this problem.

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