Archive for September, 2010

The value gap

Posted: September 29, 2010 in Uncategorized

I went on another online date last night, and things didn’t go particularly well. I put this down to one thing: the value gap.

I was expecting the girl I met, HBGinger to be 6, at best a 7 from her photos. When she turned up with her slim and pert body and goregous light coloured ginger hair it was obvious to me she was closer to an 8. This may seem like a good thing at first, bit you have to bare in mind that I usually bang 6s and on a good day 7s. This means I was acutely aware of the fact that this was a higher quality of pussy than I’m used to. There was a value gap.

A value gap occurs when either the man or the girl has obviously got higher value than the other. This is what game is all about. Giving the girl the impression you have higher value than her, whether it’s true or not. Both men and girls are attracted the most by partners who have higher value than them. Being aware that a potential partner has higher value you than you effects the way you act around them, and this is why it’s really hard to close a girl who you feel is above your level.

The reason this is so hard to get around is because this happens almost subconsciously, and it effects all the little sub-communications within an interaction. This is what happened on my date. Most of what I said was fine, but the tiny sub-communications betrayed my sense of lower value.

I would say the big things that went wrong on the date are the following:

– Rapport laughter from me.
– Often having my body turned towards her when her body was facing straight ahead (unmatched rapport seeking body language).
– Softening all my teasing and negs by laughing afterwards or saying, “Only joking”.
– Not being dominant enough. Although I lead the way, each time I did my words, and more importantly tone of voice were way too deferential. I also let her speak over me a couple of times.
– Just paying lip service to qualification. I ran through my stack, but should have pushed harder for better answers.

Tyler Durden says, “The self is always coming through”. This means that whatever you say is almost irrelevent. Your true feelings and perception of reality will always be show in subtle ways. These things manifest themselves in your body language, facial expression and voice tonality. This date proved to me for the first time that this was the case. I told HBGinger on more than one occasion that she needed to impress me, but my little mannerisms gave me away, and she knew she had already impressed me just by showing up. Inside my head I was lower value than her, and this was painted all over my face the whole time.

I really have start to think that if you don’t believe you can fuck a certain girl, you never will. This is why I think going after the 8s, 9s and 10s is folly for me at this stage. I don’t believe I am good enough for them, and this will show in any interaction I have with them. If I want to game high value girls successfully, I am going to have to change my perception of myself. I’m going to have to believe they want to fuck me.

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Stats since 1st October:
0 approaches
1 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

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This is basically just an update to let people know where I’m at. I’m still not quite with it when it comes to blogging, so I’ve only just realised I need to be making a post each time something significant happens, rather than just making one long update post like I am now.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it yet, but have been getting into online game in a big way. It’s much easier than cold approach, but the pay off (in terms of both boosted confidence and hotness of girls) is not as big. It is via online game that I’m getting all my closes. I still really want to get good at cold approach, but my online success has boosted my confidence, and has got me laid.

I’ve been on two dates this week. One was with an HB7 who from now on will be refered to as HBMarried, a blonde girl in her mid 20s with cracking tits.

She admitted to me she was married via text just before we met. She says she’s unhappily married and is seeing what is on offer. Since I don’t know her husband, and I believe it’s up to her, not me, to protect her marriage, dating (and hopefully fucking) her poses no moral issues to me.  She seems really into me, but there is a red flag. She seems to be desperately seeking validation of her sexual attractiveness. As long as this comes in the form of me fclosing her, then this is OK. If she’s just going to be a prick tease (I think this is possible) then she’s doing to get ditched.

My plan is to use her need for validation as a tool to gain sexual compliance. For each level of increased physical intimacy she allows me, she will get rewarded with a compliment relating to her physical attractiveness. Each time she denies me physical escalation, she will get negged and will have to work that much harder next time to win my validation. We were thinking of meeting for a 2nd date this Saturday afternoon, but her husband wasn’t going out so it was cancelled.

The second date was with HBVirgin. She is, you guessed it dear reader, a virgin. I met her for a date in a coffee shop. We got on really well (this seems to happen with most girls I meet since learning game…), and at the end of the date she tells me she has traditional views on marriage, and so despite being in her mid 20s is still a virgin. The next day I tell her via MSN I can’t see her again because I’m looking for a sexual relationship. She tells me she really wants to see me again. I let her know if that happens I will be looking to physically escalate towards sex. She says that sounds like fun. I think she secretly wants a deviant man of low moral (when it comes to sexual matters) character to corrupt and deflower her. I think I am just that man, so I agree to see her again. The second date isn’t till a week today, which means it will be about 12 days between 1st and 2nd dates. This could ruin my seduction momentum, so I’ll have to wait and see. I’m going to try and bridge the gap between dates by using sparse but playful  text game to maintain attraction and continue to build comfort.

Last week I went on two dates with HBTeacher. She’s a fun girl with a bubbly personality, but she’s only an HB5. She seems really into me, and with her low HB rating I’m counting on her as a guaranteed lay. I have already kiss closed her, along with some minor sexual physical escalation. She was meant to be coming to my flat last night and cooking me dinner, but cancelled last minute due to illness (I do believe this was genuine excuse). This was my missed fclose, and I have to say it pissed me off. I haven’t had sex since the 26th of August, so it looks like I’ll end up going a whole month without sex, despite having gamed 3 girls fairly well this month. Have rearranged the date with her for a week today (in the evening after dating HBVirgin in the afternoon). Again, given the time between dates, seduction momentum is an issue. Again, will use text game to bridge the gap and keep building comfort.

I have another first date on Sunday night, will let you know how that goes.

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Stats since 1st September:
7 approaches
4 number closes
1 kiss closes
0 f closes

Some new openers

Posted: September 12, 2010 in Uncategorized

I have recently decided to sarge in some of the larger clubs in London, rather than the smaller bars, as this presents me with so many more viable targets. I want to get to the point where I can do 8 – 10 sets consistently every time I go out. The trouble is these bigger clubs are very fucking loud. Even when you shout an opener, it can be hard for girls to hear without engaging in the dreaded pecking (leaning in to a girl, a DLV). This means that fairly long winded opinion openers are out… there are just too many words that can be miss heard.This stops me opening, because I know they won’t work well.

So I never have an excuse not to open, here are some shorter openers that I will try field testing in the following weeks:

  • I want your opinion on something. Don’t you think flowers and dinner are too much for a first date with a girl you met online?
  • I want your opinion on something. What do you think about turning up to a club in a hired limo? Classy or trashy?
  • Hi girls. Are you from xxx? (Where xxx is a country she looks like she is from. Only use on girls who look foreign).
  • Hi girls, how’s it going? (When nothing else seems quite right, OK for smoking areas).
  • Hi girls, are you here on a hen party? (Only use in clubs that are full of hen parties on a Saturday night).

Between those five openers, not having something to open with should never be a problem in a club.That’s one more excuse for not opening out of the way.

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Stats since 1st September:
7 approaches
3 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

I’ve decided that I’ve got caught up in the complexities of the Mystery Method. This is causing me to over think things in set, and this is what makes my mind go blank and causes me most of my anxiety. I’m going to simplify my game.

I actually reckon I’m quite good when in set. Negging and a sense of aloofness are starting to come more easily to me, and I’m also finding it quite easy to pass shit tests. It’s just the stress of opening that gets me. Once I open and transition, I think I can just relax and I’ll be fine.

Here’s my new ‘method’ for bar game:

– Go to larger venues where there are many non mixed sets. Stay out later (I was leaving at like 11:30pm before) so I can open 8 – 12 sets a night.

– Open with some sort of situational opener. This is more natural than a canned opener, so I  will be more relaxed.If I can’t think of a situational opener, I will have to fall back on a canned one, but I’m going to keep it simple.

– If the set is larger than a two set, I will no longer care if the whole set hooks. Just one of them is good enough. I used to walk away from four sets when only one or two girls hooked. This is a waste. I no longer believe you need to hook the whole group. The only reason to do this is to prevent the cock blocking that occurs when you open just one girl in the group. If I attempt to open the whole group, this shouldn’t happen even if the whole group doesn’t hook. All I need to do to prevent cockblocking is pay lip service to respecting the social dynamic of the group by not instantly trying to drag away one girl.

– If the set opens fairly well I will take this as an IOI, and hang on in there if I don’t obviously get blown out.

– Will transition from the opener with either, “So how do you guys know each other” or, “Why are you guys out tonight? What’s the occasion?”. If after the transition they still seem happy to chat to me, I’m assuming attraction.

– I will attempt to shift my conversation to just one of the girls, and subtly look in for some minor level of isolation. I will pick the most attractive girl who seems interested in me to do this to.

– From there I’m just going to have a pretty standard conversation. I may ask the dreaded ‘interview’ style questions a little, but pad this by actually listening to what she says and following up with comments / related stories from my own life.

– As the conversation progresses, will drop in the odd routine. Both slightly longer routines, like the finger length routine and shorter routines from Assanova’s routine book. These won’t be used to hold the set together as it were, just to spike buying temperature during the set, and keep things fun and flirty. I will escalate kino throughout the set using the Vin DiCarlo escalation ladder.

– If the girl isn’t giving me much conversation back after 3 – 4 minutes, I’m ejecting. I’m not there to entertain girls, so they have to give me something back in terms of a conversation or they can fuck off.

– Around the 5 minute mark, I will try and move the conversation towards finding out more about her and her motivations in life. If this works, I will do some sort of warmish read on her.

– If all is going well, will attempt to qualify her her at around the 15 minute mark. If she won’t qualify, I will eject. Not qualifying to me mean’s there’s no attraction, so any number close would be useless. The only IOI I will require to get to this stage is that she still seems happy chatting to me. A 15 minute conversation in a bar / club is a bigger IOI than most people realise.

– If she qualifies, I will make a statement of interest (let her know I like her by complimenting her in some way), number close, chat for 5 more minutes, then eject.

My main thinking behind this is that a certain percentage of women (maybe a one girl in every 5/6 sets) will be attracted to me. The majority of girls won’t be attracted to me, and that’s fine. I know there will be girls who are, and it’s them I’m trying to find. The rest of the set I will have a mindset that I’m screening them to see if I could stand to go on a day 2 with them which would last up to 4 hours.

Attraction will mainly be gauged by their willingness to converse with me. If they aren’t attracted to me, I’m not going to fire routines at them to try and make this happen. I’ll just take the hint and eject. The next set could be the one, no point in fucking around in sets where it’s not going to happen to me.

I will force myself to qualify them after about 15 minutes in. If they qualify I will try and close. No more spending 30 minutes in a set and not knowing what’s going on. I either want a number in 20 minutes, or I want to move on to the next set.

I’m not looking to kiss close or same night lay. Just to number close so I can take them on a day 2.  I want them isolated on a day 2 so I can properly game them 1 on 1 for hours.

I want to do this 6 times a month, so Would be hoping to open 50 – 70 sets. I’m guessing maybe 30 of those will hook well, and I can hopefully then number close around 10 of them. That should get me around a couple of day 2s a month.

I also want to practice day game for about 3 hours a week. I should be able to open 15 sets in that time. This means I could be doing around 100 sets a month. This is the kind of volume I think you need to get really good at game. Before I can start my day game, I want to work out how to open in a semi direct way, and I want to plan out some sort of structure for day game sets like I have for bar game. Not going to start day gaming again till I have worked these few things out. This will probably take 2 – 3 weeks.

Despite my high hopes, I am keeping this month’s goals fairly low until I get into the swing of things and see if I can find the right venues ot open this many sets.

Septembers PUA Goals

1. Open 30 sets

2. Make 3 attempts to number close

You will notice that I’m ignoring FTC / routine goals. I just what to keep things really simple, and just focus on opening lots of sets, and get used to going for the close.

I should be sarging tomorrow, so I’ll let you know how it goes.

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Stats since 1st September:
0 approaches
2 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes