Archive for May, 2011

Last year I was trying to get the Mystery Method to work for me in London’s bars and clubs. I didn’t get very far with it. I always ended up over thinking things, and mostly just ejected from sets early as a result. This year I’ve been focusing on running simpler (but possibly less effective) game. As my approach anxiety fades I would hope pickups like the one that follows will be a regular occurrence.

The pickup

I’m in a bar/club in central London with a wing. We’d been in a couple of sets earlier but nothing had really stuck. We’re in the club area of the bar. It’s early and there aren’t many people around. I spot a 2 set of HB7s sat in tall chairs at a table in the corner. They’re intermittently looking around, which is a good sign that they’re probably waiting to be opened by guys. I spend at least 60 seconds psyching myself up for the approach, then go in.

My opener’s shite. It went something like, “Hi. You girls look nice and relaxed now, but I can tell you’re just chilling out before you tear it up on the dance floor”. They don’t seem impressed, and are eye coding “WTF?” to each other. Not a great start. In the past I would have ejected, but instead I plough. I introduce myself and ask for their names. They are both foreign, but One obviously has much better English than the other, so I make her my target. I get her to spell her name for me. At this point the set has just about hooked.

My wing comes over and I introduce him into the set. It’s great to have a good wing that knows when to come into sets. I’ve had it before where I’ve been 5 minutes into a 2 set and my wings have been stood nearby and not come in. I feel like it’s too much pressure to lead 2 girls in conversation so often end up ejecting.

Last year I was trying to get the Mystery Method to work for me in London’s bars and clubs. I didn’t get very far with it. I always ended up over thinking things, and mostly just ejected from sets early as a result. This year I’ve been focusing on running simpler (but possibly less effective) game. As my approach anxiety fades I would hope pickups like the one that follows will be a regular occurrence.

The pickup

I’m in a bar/club in central London with a wing. We’d been in a couple of sets earlier but nothing had really stuck. We’re in the club area of the bar. It’s early and there aren’t many people around. I spot a 2 set of HB7s sat in tall chairs at a table in the corner. They’re intermittently looking around, which is a good sign that they’re probably waiting to be opened by guys. I spend at least 60 seconds psyching myself up for the approach, then go in.

My opener’s shite. It went something like, “Hi. You girls look nice and relaxed now, but I can tell you’re just chilling out before you tear it up on the dance floor”. They don’t seem impressed, and are eye coding “WTF?” to each other. Not a great start. In the past I would have ejected, but instead I plough. I introduce myself and ask for their names. They are both foreign, but One obviously has much better English than the other, so I make her my target. I get her to spell her name for me. At this point the set has just about hooked.

My wing comes over and I introduce him into the set. It’s great to have a good wing that knows when to come into sets. I’ve had it before where I’ve been 5 minutes into a 2 set and my wings have been stood nearby and not come in. I feel like it’s too much pressure to lead 2 girls in conversation so often end up ejecting.

As my wing occupies the obstacle and I go to work on HBLith. She’s a tough one. At one point early in the set she’s just nodding and smiling. I call her out on it playfully, “I’m stood here talking away and you’re just sat there nodding and smiling. You don’t have a fucking clue what’s going on do you?”.

Getting personal details out of her lime where she lives and what job she does are like getting blood out of a stone. Many of the things she says to me just don’t ring true. Whenever I can tell she’s bullshitting to mess with me I call her out on it and bust her over it. She likes this. She starts returning my kino and playfully punching my arm as I bust on her.

She won’t tell me where she’s from. I laugh at her, saying I already know where she’s from and turn away from her. A nice little open loop. She reinitiates conversation, leaning into me and asking where I think she’s from. She then scoots over to another seat, and invites me to sit down. At this point I’m pretty certain I have attraction. I’m locked into the set and I move into comfort.

I run wide rapport as I slowly escalate kino. I take her number. After I’ve been in set for about 30mins,conversation starts to dry up a little. Now would be a good time to go for some deep rapport, but it’s too fucking loud for a deep an meaningful conversation. I opt for plan b; take her to the dance floor and go for the kiss close.

On the dance floor she initially resists me pulling her close, but gives in after some persistence. Then she rejects my k close attempt. This confuses me a little, but I am untaxed by it. She tells me so doesn’t kiss guys she doesn’t know. I tell her it’s not a problem.

We go back to the table. My wing has escalated with the obstacle to the point where he’s got his face in her ample cleavage, but still no k close for him either. Are Lithuanians frigid?

I chat to my girl a bit longer. She’s gone a bit cold on me since the dance floor. If I had some cash on me I’d take her to the bar for shots, but I’m broke. It’s starting to get late so I decide 60 mins in set is enough time so I don’t feel bad for letting my wing get potentially cock blocked. Also, at this point I figure staying any longer won’t increase by chances of getting a day 2 with her, so I leave.

I call her a couple of days later, and she’s up for a day 2.

To be continued…

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Stats since 1st June:
0 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

Read Part 1

So I’d just number closed my first stripper. Even if she did all the work it still makes me feel kind of playertastic. Now it’s time for the day 2. To cut a long story short it was not far off being a total fucking disaster.

I ring her the day after the number close to arrange to meet for coffee as agreed. She works in Piccadilly but claims she doesn’t know where Covent Garden is (for those of you not in London this is odd as it’s a famous area just down the road). At this point she basically takes control and tells me to meet her at 4pm opposite her club, with her starting work at 5. She says she wants food. I tell her it’s OK if she eats, but I’ve already eaten so will just get a drink.

We meet in a Steak House across the road. Right from the start she seems cold, and not massively responsive to conversation. If I was being nice, I’d say that throughout the whole day 2 her demeanour was cold and aloof. If I wasn’t to be so nice, I’d say she was acting a bit cunty.

She ordered a sharing platter and several side orders. I told her I wasn’t eating and that she’d just ordered way too much food for one person, but she insisted. When the food turned up we did end up sharing it.

At this point I did start to feel like she was in control too much. Recently I’ve been trying to strike the balance between controlling the frame with a woman and just chilling out. I’ve read many field reports written by other aspiring PUAs and they often seem to get into frame control battles with girls that only exist in their own heads. This leads to then over thinking things, and also often coming across to the girl as an abrasive control freak. At the same time I also believe that there is a correct male-female dynamic that should exist in every set if a man is to be consistently successful with women. To get an idea of this think of the teacher-pupil dynamic, and you won’t be far off. In short the guy is higher value than the girl. I’m striving to calibrate so I can repeatedly create this dynamic in all my interactions with attractive women, without turning into a frame control nut.

I talked about her job a lot, as I thought this would be an easy route to sexualise the conversation. In hindsight this was a mistake. A stripper’s not going to date someone who makes a big deal out of her being a stripper.

I can see why people don’t do dinner dates. Eating dinner just doesn’t make people look or feel sexy, and it’s impossible to kino.

By the end of the date her body language is so completely disinterested. At this point I make a mistake I’ve been making frequently on day 2s. I ask what her opinion on me is. She tells me that I’m a little boy with my head in the clouds, an she needs a man. Ouch. I remain unreactive, and just smirk, but at this point it’s pretty much all over.

We part ways and she tells me to call her. At first I wasn’t going to, but then I remembered how lush her ass was so I send her a feeler text a week later. No reply.

I think there are two things that went wrong here:

1. She has a bitchy / serious attitude which is incompatible with the way I like to tease girls.

2. Weak inner game on my part. The self is always coming through, and my true self is still a scared little boy to some extent.

I spoke to my mentor about this day 2. He said it was hard for him to work out where I went wrong just from my description. His only advice is that I should have walked out and left her when she called me a little boy. I asked him if he didn’t think I should just be unreactive. His reply to this made a lot of sense, “Cowards are unreactive too. You react appropriately. If someone’s joking about you in a friendly way, laugh. If someone’s being rude to you, confront them”. He likened the little boy comment to telling a girl on a day 2, “You looked fit last night when I first met you, but you’re actually a bit fat”. Makes sense.

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Stats since 1st May:
24 approaches
4 number closes
1 kiss closes
1 f closes

Thank god I’m an atheist

Posted: May 21, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags:

I fclosed the married girl. Bad I know, but as Roissy might say, the sexual market is a free market.

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Stats since 1st May:
24 approaches
4 number closes
1 kiss closes
1 f closes

Or shopping center as well call it in the UK.

I’m lucky enough to live fairly close to London’s biggest shopping centre. On weeknights it’s not too busy, but there are always a reasonable number of quality targets around. After having a smoke and visiting the toilet, I approach the first attractive girl I see who’s on her own. This is progress for me, because until recently I’d spend ages wandering around chickening out before opening.

I use a very standard direct opener, and try and transition by talking about how I was so sure she was English, but from her accent she obviously isn’t. My approach is fairly weak as I’m quite nervous. My voice goes a bit mumbly, my body language isn’t awful but is a little shaky. I don’t make great eye contact with her. I’m coming to realise that it’s not so much what you say that stops and hooks girls, it’s the confidence you project when you’re saying it.This confidence is shown in the following ways:

  • Strong, unshakable masculine body language
  • Strong, mildly sexualized eye contact
  • A slow, smooth and booming voice
  • A sly smile
  • Not letting her initial reaction to you effect you in any way

She is hinting that she wants to go by saying, “Thanks” and keeping her body angled like she is about to walk away, so I let her go. I have seen other PUAs in this situation plough through to a hook and still go on to get solid number closes. I realised that I give up too easily, and can probably hook more sets just by standing my ground.

The bullet points given above are what I need to work on in day game. When learning a new skill, aimless practice is almost worthless. You have to practice specific things in order to improve. Some guys in game aimlessly practice for years and as a result end up never improving. I will focus my day game practice on these areas in a conscious effort to improve.

That’s set one. So far not great, but not terrible either. An OK first attempt for the session. It’s now that things go wrong. I go off for a smoke and a wander around the shops in order to reset for another set. Only, instead of taking 15 minutes about it I soon realise 45 minutes have gone by. It’s now starting to get late and I want to go home. At this point I mentally give up on the sarge. I decide to head for the exit, but will keep my eyes open for a target on the way out. It’s slim pickings, but I spot a latino girl (my favorite) struggling to walk gracefully in her 3.5 inch high heels. When I see her ass wiggling that seals the deal.

I go to move in but a guy trying to sell hair extenstions on a stall gets there first and makes his pitch. Fuck. I walk on by and hover near the Superdry store. I’m going to pretend I was just about to go in there when I suddenly ‘notice’ her. She finally brushes off the hair salesman and comes past me. I got to make my move, but there’s no room on her left hand side because of a group of guys standing there chatting. I switch to the right hand side. I’m coming up behind her. Almost alongside her… then she moves to her right causing me to kick her in the back of her foot. This just ruins the moment for me so I abort, and end the sarge.

On the way out I realised my main problem was laziness. Once upon a time I would have wandered around for ages, seeing the targets but pussying out of the approach. This time both times that I saw targets I did go for it. It’s just that most of the time I was just wandering around in a world of my own, not even noticing the targets. When it comes to approaching, the fear is starting to give way, and just like happened last year, apathy is setting in. The more sets I open the more it will start to feel mundane, so I’m really going to have to push myself.

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Stats since 1st May:
18 approaches
3 number closes
1 kiss closes
1 f closes

As any regular readers know, my main sticking point has always been approach anxiety. Recently my AA has massively decreased (in day game, not so much for night game). So I’m opening loads of set now, right? Wrong.

When I hit the streets day gaming, I’m now usually able to approach the first attractive girl I want to. So whereas at one time I’d be wandering round for hours psyching myself up to open, now I do it within minutes of beginning the sarge. So far, so good. It’s then that the problem occurs. After opening my first set, opening more sets just makes me feel like a weirdo. I find it hard to open a set every 15 minutes without feeling like a sex pest.

Some guys might come back at me with some standard community responses like, “It being weird is all in your mind” or “That’s a limiting belief” blah blah blah. One of the definitions of weird is:

Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange.

Hanging around at the intersection of Regent’s Street and Oxford Street and approaching 4/5 women per hour with a view to starting a sexual relationship with them is unusual, because most people don’t do it. It is by definition strange. Look at it this way. If I’m about to leave work on a Friday evening and am asked, “What are you up to tonight?” and I reply, “Off to a bar to chat up women”, then some people would think I was a bit blunt about it, but they wouldn’t think me weird, as many men chat up women in bars. If, however I replied, “I’m going to hang out on the street and chat up women”, then this would cause some commotion. People would think me weird.

So, despite what the community says, intense day gaming is weird.

So where do I go from here? I can’t continue opening 6 sets and getting one number close a week. At this rate it will take me at least 10 weeks to get my next day 2. This will not do. The only thing I can think of is just to accept the weirdness. I have to tell myself, “I know this is weird, but it’s something I have to do to hone my skills”.

The two main things that freak me out are:

  1. Hanging around the same area making loads of approaches
  2. Approaching many times within a short time period (I have seen some guys do about 10 approaches an hour, for example).

To get rid of these things I’m going to do some stuff to trick my brain a little.

In each of my main sarging locations I will have multiple ‘loitering positions’, each around 5 minutes walk from one another. As soon as a set is over I will walk on to the next location, listen to some music / surf the web on my phone. Basically I’m trying to engineer a bit of a time distortion effect in my brain, making it seem like it was longer ago than it was since I opened the last set, so I don’t feel like a predator on the prowl. I’ll wait 15 minutes before I’m back in sarge mode, scanning for targets. When the 15 minutes is up I’ll open the next girl I like.

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Stats since 1st May:
17 approaches
3 number closes
1 kiss closes
1 f closes

The other day I realized my phone had a load of contacts in which I just don’t speak to anymore. Duplicate names are starting to become a problem, so I began pruning the contact list.

As I did that, I came across the married girl that I went on one date with last year (no k close). At the time I pushed too hard for a second date, and that blew me out. I thought she was messing me around, but thinking about it realized that her situation (married and living with him) meant that it was awkward for her to see me. Armed with this new perspective I decided to try and revive the set.

I sent a simple text and got a quick response. She seemed receptive, and asked for a photo of me to remind her. As soon as she got that it was clear that it was on.

Three days later we meet in a central London bar. He tits are looking epic. After an initial how are you chat and some mild banter, I explain what I think went wrong last time. I think it’s critical that I let her know that I understand that her situation is delicate, and that I won’t rock the boat.

I then went on to tell her what she needs in a man. This obviously struck a cord with her as her eyes filled with tears and she said, “I don’t think that’s too much to ask for, is it?”.  Next I got her buying temperature up with a bit of banter and some mild sexualization. Time to escalate.

I’m starting to focus on the hands when physically escalating with a girl. I really think what 60 Years of Challenge says in his ebook is correct. You need to get to the point where the girl is returning your touch – mutually caressing he calls it – to get that “it’s on” moment. Some girls will let you get a bit touchy feely with them, but don’t return the touch. These girls quite possibly aren’t into you, they just can’t be bothered to object to your kino. It’s when they start touching you back that you know it’s on. This show that they have subconsciously accepted you as a sexual partner. Win. The easiest way to get to this point is to touch their hands. Small touches at first. Then longer. Then holding hands. It’s the old Mystery Method thing of if you squeeze her hand and she squeezes back it’s a big IOI.

So I get to the mutual caressing stage. I go for the k close and get it. 20 minutes later she’s got her hands all over my cock. Logistics would be no good to lay her that night though. I tell her, “I  want to fuck you. I’m not going to deny that. But I’m not in a rush”.

When I get home she texts me telling me she wants me inside her, she’s fishing for another date. She sends me a topless picture, and we agree to meet a couple of days later (I shouldn’t have given up the second date so easily, in retrospect).

She texts me on the day of the date, asking if I’m just after sex. I reframe, saying I thought she was interested in me for more than that and liked my personality. This causes her to qualify to me. She then cancels the date, saying she can’t get away from her husband. I do what Roissy suggests, and wait till the time of the date and just reply with “Cool”. This doesn’t go down well. She replies back saying I can’t handle the situation. I tell her I want to see her again, and tell her it’s OK. Looking back my response was a bit beta.

I know the sexual attraction is there. If she was single this would be an easy lay. The situation makes it hard. I’m going to play the long game. I won’t invest too much time / thought / emotional energy in her. The hard bit is going to be communicating to her that I understand she’s in a complicated situation, without coming off as a beta that will just take what he’s given from her.

I will keep you guys updated.

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Stats since 1st May:
12 approaches
1 number closes
1 kiss closes
0 f closes

I shouldn’t need to write this post. This is fucking simple, basic social stuff. Despite this, wannabe PUAs consistently get it wrong.

What actually happens

Two PUAs, Dave and Alan are working a bar. Dave opens a set. It hooks. A couple of minutes later Alan turns up, “Hey Dave, what’s up?”. Dave very briefly turns his head to Alan, “Oh, hey”, then quickly turns his attention back to the girls.

From the way Dave is standing, it’s hard for Alan to physically enter the set without pushing Dave or one of the girls out of the way. He also doesn’t know what they’re talking about. He is cut out of the set both physically and conversationally. He hovers at the periphery of the set for about a minute, looking uncomfortable. “What are you guys talking about?”, he asks. Dave is to intently focused on the girls that he ignores him.

Alan finally manages to wedge himself into the set, but it’s not very smooth. The girls notice all this and it makes them kind of uncomfortable.

What went wrong here?

Have you ever noticed what happens when you’re in set with a girl and one of her friends turns up? She stops talking to you, turns to her friend, acknowledges her, chats to her for at least 10 seconds, then introduces her to you. She acts like this because, all though she might be attracted to you, she’s only just met you so you’re not the center of her world. Her friend is still more important to you than her.

When a man (who is beta / doesn’t live in sexual abundance) is chatting to a girl they are sexually attracted too they value the girl too much too quickly. The guy’s Recticular Activating System kicks in and he becomes intensely focused on the girl, even ignoring his friend when he tries to enter the set. The wannabe PUA seems to act like if he takes his attention away from the girl for more than a second she’ll run off or something. He has only known the girl for 2 mins and she is already the center of his world.

Add to this social ineptitude. This applies to many seduction community newbies. Socially inept people don’t realize that when someone is trying to enter a conversation, you have to physically and conversationally let them in, by making space and giving them introductions / telling them what the conversation is about.

What’s the result of this mistake?

Social adeptness is an attraction trigger. Men that are high up in the social hierarchy tend to be socially adept, so showing social ineptitude marks you as being low down in the social hierarchy, and thus unattractive to women.

When you behave in this way when your wing tries to enter the set, you also sub communicate a shit load of other bad stuff about yourself:

  1. You don’t get much pussy (why else would you be so overly focused on a girl you only met 2 minutes ago?)
  2. You are needy. You’ve only just met her and she’s already the center of your world
  3. She’s already won you over, by doing nothing, so you present no challenge to her
  4. You don’t value your friends highly, which shows an inability to befriend cool people, a sign that you’re not cool
  5. She is the prize, and you are chasing her (and no number of witty c&f lines, or routines saying the opposite will convince her the opposite is true. Sub communications > verbal communication)

In other words, doing this will usually kill all attraction in the set.

What should have happend

Dave and Alan are two wannabe PUAs working a bar. Dave opens a set and 2 mins latter Alan comes over, “Hey, what’s up”.  Dave stops talking to the girls. He turns to face Alan. Not just his head turning mind you, he turns his whole body. His feet are pointing towards Alan when he greets him (important), “Hey Alan, where’d you get to?”. The pair chat for around 10 – 15 seconds. “Girls, this is Alan, the best ping pong player I’ve ever met.”, Dave says, moving to the side so Alan can stand in set. “We were just talking about this weird dance they do each year in Sweden…”.

Just doing something as simple as that can make you stand out as a bit different to every other guy that hits on the girls that night. Doing this isn’t hard, and unlike most things in pickup, doesn’t take any balls. Yet people get it wrong so often…

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Stats since 1st May:
11 approaches
1 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

I’m my own worst enemy

Posted: May 5, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags:

Looking back through last years blog entries I did notice that the overall tone was negative, which isn’t how it should be on pickup blog. I’m making a concerted effort to both think, and therefore blog, more positively. Given this, you may find the title of this post surprising. It sounds negative. This, however, isn’t quite true.

The truth is that I’ve realized some negative things about myself which are holding me back, both in pickup and in life in general. I’m going to frame this positively by using this revelation to make changes for the better in my life.

Ok, onto the revelation.

I’m my own worst enemy. If I lived up to just 80% of my full potential, my success in life and in pickup would be vastly improved. I say I’m my own worst enemy because there are things I do that are bad and things I don’t do that I should do that are 100% under my own control. I don’t need anything from anyone to do better in these areas.

Take approaching for example. In the past 3 months, I have approached, on average, 5 women a week. That’s not nearly enough to make decent progress in pickup. Now, I can’t make a woman want to have sex with me (although I can influence this), so that is not 100% under my control. What is under my control is whether I approach or not. That average could easily have been 40 per week. That would be 480 approaches in those months, compared to the 60 I actually did. That would massively increase my chances of success in pickup.

The thing I have come to realize is that I don’t take ownership of the fact I don’t approach women. I externalize this issue, and blame AA, almost like approach anxiety is some external malevolent force over which I have no control. The reality is I choose not to approach women because it scares me. Nothing external is stopping me.

Here is a list of things I do which are bad:

1. Not approaching enough
2. Smoking
3. Not working out enough
4. Masturbating too much
5. Not controlling my cash flow
6. Spending loads of money on live webcam sex chat
7. Not getting enough sleep

I’ve tried to fix all these things in the past, without success. The truth is they are all habits. Habits are hard to break. When habits are bad this is a big problem, but if you can cultivate good habits then this suddenly becomes a positive thing as it means it’s hard to stop doing the good things you are doing.

All these bad habits are related somehow. Things fit together like this:

Not approaching enough

Removes the possibility of me getting laid regularly. Related to many of the other bad habits in that many of them make this bit seem harder to do.

Smoking

This relates to not controlling my cash flow. A pack of 20 cigarettes in London coasts £6 (at least), which is getting on for $10 for my US readers. Given that I smoke a pack a day, this means cigarettes are in competition with food as my second biggest outgoing after rent. While eating every day is worthwhile habit, smoking isn’t. So just quitting smoking on it’s own is probably enough to solve my money worries. I also use smoking as an excuse not to approach during daygame, and a reason to eject from sets during nightgame.

Not working out enough

The more I work out the better I’ll look. The better I look the more confident I’ll be. The more confident I am the more likely I am to approach. This is just the first reason why working out more will lead to me approaching more. The second reason is even more important: working out regularly with heavy weights increases the bodies levels of Testosterone, the alpha male hormone.

High levels of testosterone in a man’s body accentuate all of his alpha traits: confidence, aggression, urge to compete and win, urge to dominate, urge to approach and fuck women. A man with low levels of T become girly betas. Therefore, working out irregularly lowers the chances I will approach.

Masturbating too much

This doesn’t sound like a problem, but research shows that it is. As well as dropping testosterone levels, masturbating more than once a week also decreases the amount of satisfaction a person gets from being social. I don’t fully understand the science behind this but it could well be right. I’ve been wanking a lot since a young age, so this might have something to do with me being introverted. For me, sometimes just talking to people feels painful. This obviously leads me to approach less.

If those two points aren’t enough to condemn spanking the monkey to be a strictly once a week event, also think what the psychological effect of having a sex substitute so easily to hand (pun not intended but I like it). If you know you can have ‘substitute’ sex with hot girls (porn) with out any effort, it’s hard to put loads of effort into cold approaching. Why push through the fear for sex when you can just wank?

The Christians were wrong when they told you spanking it would make you go blind. In fact it’s worse than that, it’ll stop you getting laid. Once a week it is for me from now on then…

Not controlling my cash flow

Despite not earning a pauper’s salary (about average for London, so OK for my age),  I’m nearly always broke. I do the same thing every month. A spending spree where I spend money on crap I don’t need for around 10 days after pay day, followed by 20 days of poverty.

This is very strongly related to other items on this list. Both cigarettes and adult webcams are two things I spend a hello of a lot of money on which contribute to me being broke. Removing or at the very least cutting down on these things should virtually solve my cash flow issues.

Being broke delivers a double whammy on my ability to approach. There is the practical problem: I can’t afford to travel and go out. This takes away my opportunity to approach women. There is also the self esteem hit which comes from being broke. It lowers your self esteem and it’s harder to approach confidently when you have low self esteem.

Spending loads of money on live webcam sex chat

This one leads both too excessive masturbation, and to spending too much money.

It tends to be a non issue when I’m having sex at least twice a week (with two different girls). This hasn’t been the case for a while though, and I think cutting out the webcam stuff now is a better strategy than getting 2 girls on the go and letting it take care of itself.

Not getting enough sleep

I get around 5 hours of sleep a night, when I know from experience I need about 6.5 hours to be fully rested. This leads to lethargy, making it harder for me to approach and do my workouts.

I’m going to focus on breaking the easiest habits first. That way I can build up momentum as quickly as possible. The easiest win will be the webcams. I use these infrequently (4/5 times a month), and they can be substituted for free porn quite easily, should I really need to spank it. The sleep thing is also pretty easy. It will involve cutting out all energy drinks, and not drinking coffee after noon. At first this will lead to me crashing in the afternoons (and as a result missing some evening sarging sessions), but it shouldn’t take more than a week to fix it.

Working out is another fairly easy win. I’ll cut down my workouts and focus on one major muscle group per session. One set of each exercise to total muscular failure, then a little high intensity cardio. Since taking up regular daygame cardio isn’t hugely important. I get a lot of really low intensity cardio just from spending hours walking about.

With the webcams cut out, my cash flow will look a little healthier. I can go even further by being frugal when out shopping, and preparing all food ahead of time rather than eating out a lot. I will make Tuesday night (my night off game) and Saturday morning my food prep times. Frugality will be a bit of s struggle, but is manageable. Like I said it’s all about habits. I need to get out of the habit of just popping into Starbucks when out. Checking the discount areas in the supermarket first. Always find out what the cheapest option is in any situation.

The last three habits will be monumentally hard to shake. I’m not going to lie to myself and expect these to sort themselves out overnight.

Cutting out the wanking will be hard because I’m a horny fucker. Cutting out the fags will be hard because I have both a physical and psychological addiction to them. Approaching more will be hard because I’m an introvert who, in all honesty doesn’t really like talking to people, plus it scares the shit out of me.

I’ll have to sort these out slowly. Start by wanking only 5 times a week and cutting the number of fags I smoke in half. Force myself to approach twice every bar and day game session, instead of once. This should lead to over a dozen approaches every week. I could do three times that but it’s a start.

I’ll keep you all regularly updated on how all this goes, and the effect it has on my game.

I’ve just noticed how epically long this post is…

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Stats since 1st May:
4 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

I was saying in my last post how I need to (temporarily) become an approach monkey in order to help with my AA. Last night when out and about on Oxford street, I noticed an example of just this in action.

I saw a bloke run up to an 8 and open her. It wasn’t a technically proficient approach as he failed to stop her and kept walking with her. About 30 seconds into set and a 9 walks by in the other direction. Another 30 seconds goes by and this guy gets blown out. He must have spotted the 9 while he was still in set with the 8, because as soon as he got blown out he immediately gave chase, despite the fact she was 50 meters behind him by then.

The most important thing I took from this was the fact that despite the street being quite busy and him bouncing from one set to another, no one apart from me noticed him. This is important because my biggest source of anxiety at the moment is the thought of passersby watching me open. This could help me internalise the truth: no one else gives a fuck if I open a girl on the street.

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Stats since 1st May:
2 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

Approach Monkey

Posted: May 2, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags:

I’ve bitched a lot about approach anxiety on this blog. Brace yourselves because I’m about to do it again.

I used to have 4 major problems when it came to pulling:

1. Approach anxiety
2. Prematurely ejecting from sets
3. Having nothing to say in set
4. Fear of escalating / closing

I’ve pretty much taken care of numbers 2 – 4, but consistently approaching a decent number of sets still eludes me. Not approaching regularly means I can’t practise game regularly. I know if I can approach 100 sets a month (I go out enough to do this) it won’t be long before I’m getting laid regularly.

Enough bitching and whining. It’s time to take right action, as Tyler Durden would say. I’ve decided to kick things up a notch by taking a 1 on 1 daygame session with a paid coach.

I’ve trawled through the commercial section of the LSS and found a guy who meets my criteria: is cheap and has positive reviews when it comes to busting people’s AA. We’re just texting to schedule a date now. I’ll keep you all updated.

———————————————
Stats since 1st May:
1 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes