How to introduce your wing into set

Posted: May 9, 2011 in Uncategorized

I shouldn’t need to write this post. This is fucking simple, basic social stuff. Despite this, wannabe PUAs consistently get it wrong.

What actually happens

Two PUAs, Dave and Alan are working a bar. Dave opens a set. It hooks. A couple of minutes later Alan turns up, “Hey Dave, what’s up?”. Dave very briefly turns his head to Alan, “Oh, hey”, then quickly turns his attention back to the girls.

From the way Dave is standing, it’s hard for Alan to physically enter the set without pushing Dave or one of the girls out of the way. He also doesn’t know what they’re talking about. He is cut out of the set both physically and conversationally. He hovers at the periphery of the set for about a minute, looking uncomfortable. “What are you guys talking about?”, he asks. Dave is to intently focused on the girls that he ignores him.

Alan finally manages to wedge himself into the set, but it’s not very smooth. The girls notice all this and it makes them kind of uncomfortable.

What went wrong here?

Have you ever noticed what happens when you’re in set with a girl and one of her friends turns up? She stops talking to you, turns to her friend, acknowledges her, chats to her for at least 10 seconds, then introduces her to you. She acts like this because, all though she might be attracted to you, she’s only just met you so you’re not the center of her world. Her friend is still more important to you than her.

When a man (who is beta / doesn’t live in sexual abundance) is chatting to a girl they are sexually attracted too they value the girl too much too quickly. The guy’s Recticular Activating System kicks in and he becomes intensely focused on the girl, even ignoring his friend when he tries to enter the set. The wannabe PUA seems to act like if he takes his attention away from the girl for more than a second she’ll run off or something. He has only known the girl for 2 mins and she is already the center of his world.

Add to this social ineptitude. This applies to many seduction community newbies. Socially inept people don’t realize that when someone is trying to enter a conversation, you have to physically and conversationally let them in, by making space and giving them introductions / telling them what the conversation is about.

What’s the result of this mistake?

Social adeptness is an attraction trigger. Men that are high up in the social hierarchy tend to be socially adept, so showing social ineptitude marks you as being low down in the social hierarchy, and thus unattractive to women.

When you behave in this way when your wing tries to enter the set, you also sub communicate a shit load of other bad stuff about yourself:

  1. You don’t get much pussy (why else would you be so overly focused on a girl you only met 2 minutes ago?)
  2. You are needy. You’ve only just met her and she’s already the center of your world
  3. She’s already won you over, by doing nothing, so you present no challenge to her
  4. You don’t value your friends highly, which shows an inability to befriend cool people, a sign that you’re not cool
  5. She is the prize, and you are chasing her (and no number of witty c&f lines, or routines saying the opposite will convince her the opposite is true. Sub communications > verbal communication)

In other words, doing this will usually kill all attraction in the set.

What should have happend

Dave and Alan are two wannabe PUAs working a bar. Dave opens a set and 2 mins latter Alan comes over, “Hey, what’s up”.  Dave stops talking to the girls. He turns to face Alan. Not just his head turning mind you, he turns his whole body. His feet are pointing towards Alan when he greets him (important), “Hey Alan, where’d you get to?”. The pair chat for around 10 – 15 seconds. “Girls, this is Alan, the best ping pong player I’ve ever met.”, Dave says, moving to the side so Alan can stand in set. “We were just talking about this weird dance they do each year in Sweden…”.

Just doing something as simple as that can make you stand out as a bit different to every other guy that hits on the girls that night. Doing this isn’t hard, and unlike most things in pickup, doesn’t take any balls. Yet people get it wrong so often…

———————————————
Stats since 1st May:
11 approaches
1 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

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