My day 2 with a stripper – Part 2

Posted: May 27, 2011 in Uncategorized

Read Part 1

So I’d just number closed my first stripper. Even if she did all the work it still makes me feel kind of playertastic. Now it’s time for the day 2. To cut a long story short it was not far off being a total fucking disaster.

I ring her the day after the number close to arrange to meet for coffee as agreed. She works in Piccadilly but claims she doesn’t know where Covent Garden is (for those of you not in London this is odd as it’s a famous area just down the road). At this point she basically takes control and tells me to meet her at 4pm opposite her club, with her starting work at 5. She says she wants food. I tell her it’s OK if she eats, but I’ve already eaten so will just get a drink.

We meet in a Steak House across the road. Right from the start she seems cold, and not massively responsive to conversation. If I was being nice, I’d say that throughout the whole day 2 her demeanour was cold and aloof. If I wasn’t to be so nice, I’d say she was acting a bit cunty.

She ordered a sharing platter and several side orders. I told her I wasn’t eating and that she’d just ordered way too much food for one person, but she insisted. When the food turned up we did end up sharing it.

At this point I did start to feel like she was in control too much. Recently I’ve been trying to strike the balance between controlling the frame with a woman and just chilling out. I’ve read many field reports written by other aspiring PUAs and they often seem to get into frame control battles with girls that only exist in their own heads. This leads to then over thinking things, and also often coming across to the girl as an abrasive control freak. At the same time I also believe that there is a correct male-female dynamic that should exist in every set if a man is to be consistently successful with women. To get an idea of this think of the teacher-pupil dynamic, and you won’t be far off. In short the guy is higher value than the girl. I’m striving to calibrate so I can repeatedly create this dynamic in all my interactions with attractive women, without turning into a frame control nut.

I talked about her job a lot, as I thought this would be an easy route to sexualise the conversation. In hindsight this was a mistake. A stripper’s not going to date someone who makes a big deal out of her being a stripper.

I can see why people don’t do dinner dates. Eating dinner just doesn’t make people look or feel sexy, and it’s impossible to kino.

By the end of the date her body language is so completely disinterested. At this point I make a mistake I’ve been making frequently on day 2s. I ask what her opinion on me is. She tells me that I’m a little boy with my head in the clouds, an she needs a man. Ouch. I remain unreactive, and just smirk, but at this point it’s pretty much all over.

We part ways and she tells me to call her. At first I wasn’t going to, but then I remembered how lush her ass was so I send her a feeler text a week later. No reply.

I think there are two things that went wrong here:

1. She has a bitchy / serious attitude which is incompatible with the way I like to tease girls.

2. Weak inner game on my part. The self is always coming through, and my true self is still a scared little boy to some extent.

I spoke to my mentor about this day 2. He said it was hard for him to work out where I went wrong just from my description. His only advice is that I should have walked out and left her when she called me a little boy. I asked him if he didn’t think I should just be unreactive. His reply to this made a lot of sense, “Cowards are unreactive too. You react appropriately. If someone’s joking about you in a friendly way, laugh. If someone’s being rude to you, confront them”. He likened the little boy comment to telling a girl on a day 2, “You looked fit last night when I first met you, but you’re actually a bit fat”. Makes sense.

———————————————
Stats since 1st May:
24 approaches
4 number closes
1 kiss closes
1 f closes

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Comments
  1. socialkenny says:

    Lol,entertaining article bro’,made me laugh like hell.
    I have to checc out part 1 right now.
    http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress .com/

  2. Bhodisatta says:

    Don’t beat yourself up, you did something right enough to get a stripper to ask you out. That’s pretty amazing.

    Now for the ‘but’..

    The date did sound like a debacle. You wanted to meet her in CG, she said she didn’t know where it was and suggested something insultingly convenient for her. You fail the first shit test. JJ said on the RSG bootcamp I went on that he never, ever follows the woman’s plan. I thought this sounded ridiculous but with experience I’d have to say every time I’ve ever followed the woman’s plan it kills it from the get-go. You should have called her stupid for not knowing where CG was, told her to look it up or something. If she sulks and threatens not to meet you… FINE!… remember you have to fill the role of ‘the guy with options’. Outcome independence.

    You talk about her job: utterly lame. Totally chodey. You should have ignored her looks in every way, teased her, DHV’ed yourself then try and make her qualify to you on her intelligence.

    You ask her what she thinks of you: disgusting. I mean WTF does this say? Why do you give a shit? If you give a shit then dude work on your inner game. I guarantee you you have more talent in your finger than she has in her whole body.

    Basically she thought you were hot. She shit tested you. You failed.

    But well done tho… seriously…getting a date with a stripper: quality. Also you really seem to be stepping up your efforts recently. Something’s clicked in you… I can tell. Keep going like this and you’ll make it.

    B

    • betatopua says:

      Debacle’s a good way to describe it.

      I did try to get her to go to CG. When she said she didn’t know where it is, I told her just to take the tube there, easy enough. But then when I told her it’s 10 walk from there to where she worked she baulked at it. If where we met was inconvenient for me then not meeting her would make sense, but as it wasn’t it would feel petty insisting upon a certain location.

      One thing I’m starting to think about these days is trying to realise when a woman’s request is innocent, and not some frame control battle.

      Having said that, it is better when I make the plans, not the woman. Helps establish the correct male/female dynamic.

      The talking about her job thing… fuck. I even told myself before the day2, “Don’t even mention her job. It’s no big deal”. Let myself down.

      Asking what she thinks of me is epic fail, agreed. A sign of poor self esteem. My inner game needs some (much!) working on.

      I have been stepping it up lately, and for the first time it feels like I’m on the right path and I just need to keep walking (yuck, but you get it).

      The only difficulty is momentum. If I drop out of the game for even a short time I lose almost everything. I’ve now been out for about 10 days due to being broke and now working late a lot. In addition to this of late my day job is really starting to beta me (that’s a whole post, coming soon). I look forward to getting out this weekend and seeing what I can do.

  3. […] isn’t attracted to me. I continue to dig myself deeper by asking her what she thinks of me. I’ve done this before and it’s really bad. I have determined that this will be the last time I do this. What a […]

  4. […] a set near where I lived. The same thing just happened again, this time with the stripper I had a day2 with, who I’ve mentioned here a few times. I don’t think I ever mentioned that she lives […]

  5. Steven says:

    Just some advice on this set. I know it’s old.

    If you went into the date with the mindset of getting to know her to see if she got along with you, you would have done a lot better because t would have shown in your body language and behaviour.
    I would have also not made a big deal about her profession and would have clearly suggested that we talk about things other than what she does. This would have automatically challenged her to see if she has anything more going for her than taking off her clothes and showing cleavage.

    Lastly, with regards to what she said about your head being the clouds. I would have simply looked at her, smiled, said my goodbyes and walked off. Either that or i would have responded with “I don’t appreciate being spoken to like that”

    And i wouldn’t have called or texted her…

    She was looking for you to stand up to her. Most hot girls do this to see how much of a spine men have and to see if they will stand up to them and put them in their place.

    Game isn’t about being better with women. It’s about having respect for yourself.

    Well played though.

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