Archive for June, 2011

100 sets of challenge

Posted: June 29, 2011 in Uncategorized

Another month has passed, and again one of my main problems is I’m simply not chatting up enough women. I’ve opened just over two dozen sets this month, which would be enough to get laid if I was a decent pickup artist, but I’m not so I haven’t. More than half my approaches have been day game, and I find this much harder than bar game. I realise I could have opened 3 times the number of sets in bars / clubs than I did this month, and I think that would have been enough to get me laid.

My approach anxiety is slowly starting to fade, but laziness is beginning to take it’s place. It’s time to man up. It’s time to treat the world like one giant vagina, and fuck it hard. It’s time for 100 sets of challenge.

It’s pretty simple. In the month of July I will open 100 sets. And not just open them to get another entry in my approach spreadsheet. Each and every women I approach, I will approach with the 100% intent of getting them into bed (or down an ally, in a bar’s toilets, I’m easy, to be honest), getting their legs spread and fucking them. This means ploughing through bitch shields, working for the hook and adopting the always be closing mentality.  If I don’t get laid out of this, then I at least expect a massive increase in confidence and lots of experience which will help bring my sticking points to light.

Don’t wish me luck. Luck is largely irrelevant to this. I either choose to make all 100 approaches, or I chose not to. It really is that simple, and thinking that luck has anything to do with this really is refusing to take responsibility for my own choices and actions. I’ll be telling my wings about this, would be nice to have someone kicking my ass over it.

Props to Bhodisatta. I stole got the inspiration for the idea for this post’s title from his similarly titled post.

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I’m at Piccadilly Circus just before 9pm on a Monday night. I only got 2 hours of sleep the night before so I’m fucked. I’m meeting a wing in a few minutes to hit a club on student night (field report on that in another post). I’ve spent the last 60 minutes wandering around drinking pussy and trying to wake up. The idea of holding a conversation with a stranger seems daunting given how tired I am, and the one direct street approach that I did force myself into ended in an instant blow out. There’s no decent single girl sets at Piccadilly, it’s all groups of tourists, mainly families. I chill outside a shop, and run into a PUA I know and his wing.

We’re in conversation when a cute short haired brunette walks by. She’s only a highish 7 but I feel a buzz and go after her. I open with a standard direct day game opener (“Excuse me, can I just say something to you? I saw you walk by and thought you looked gorgeous”). The opener instantly hooks in terms of her body language, but she can’t understand  a fucking word I’m saying. And that’s what was interesting about this set. Not what was said, but what wasn’t.

I’ve been trying to focus on my non verbals recently. Especially strong, sexualised eye contact and the look on my face. When I opened her the pavement was quite narrow so I got a lot closer to her than I would normally in day game. Almost toe to toe. This was interesting, as this upped the sexual tension in the set as opposed to being a couple of feet away. This proves what 60 Years of Challenge says about moving close to a girl to keep the sexual tension. In addition to this I’m eyefucking her the whole time, and have a sly little seducers grin on my face. I like this, as I often forget to smile in day game. This is largely born out of the fact that many guys I’ve seen open during the day do so with huge ingratiating grins on their faces, and I don’t want to do this.

On a non verbal level she is responding well to me. Her pupils are fully dilated, and if I had to guess I’d say she was a bit turned on. It’s just like when a girl is over awed slightly by a man’s precensce and she just stares at him with her eyes spazing out. There’s an air of electricity in the air. The two of us are in our own little bubble as the city of London passes by outside. I like this. This is how day game is meant to be, I can tell. It just feels right. To stop a girl dead in her tracks with nothing but your masculine polarity, and a strong undercurrent of sexual tension. If I can repeat this consistently in future sets then all I’ll really have to work in is building rapport (which I think I suck at) / investing girls and then my day game should start yielding some good results.

There’s a problem though. She can’t understand me. It takes me 3 minutes for her to understand my opener and to find out she’s a Hungarian tourist. I decide I haven’t really got much to work with so I let her go. As I start to turn away her body position mirrors mine. Fuck me she had hooked hard, but I don’t see this working. I walk off.

I walk back around the corner to the two other PUAs I left standing there. I explain to them how the set went. We’ve only been chatting for a minute when the Hungarian 7 comes back around the corner. I assume she must be lost and have walked the wrong way (she is a tourist). Nope. Turns out she isn’t lost at all. She’s come after me. There’s a first time for everything, and this is the first time a day game set has ever come and found me and reopened me.

I try to play it cool, but I’ll be honest, I can’t believe what is happening. For her to come back after some random guy that stopped her in the street and start chatting to him in front of his two mates takes some guts. Could this have been fuelled purely by raw gina tingle caused by the eyefucking?

She explains she doesn’t speak English well but is learning. She’s making much more of an effort to speak proper English than she was before, so we can understand each other a little better. It turns out this is her last day in England. She’s off home tomorrow. Since the hook was obviously so strong, I think fuck it. Go for the same day lay. I start to probe for logistical information. She’s going to a DIY store around the corner (the store is part of an international chain, and her dad works for them back in Hungary, but still not sure what exactly she was going there for), and she was meeting her friend who lives in London at midnight. The DIY shop thing sounds important, but I think fuck it. Try and bounce her to the club, it’s only 3 minutes walk away.

We start walking in that direction when I get texted by my wing. He’s waiting for me at the shop we just came from. So I stop walking and chat to the girl. I for some unknown reason give up on the bounce, and think fuck it. Go for the street kiss close. I ask her how many English boys she’s kissed since she’s been here. She says none because she has a boyfriend. Shit, wasn’t expecting that. I ask her if she’s a good girl, she says yes. I tell her I like good girls with a little bit of bad in them. She tells me she’s all good. As soon as I started to verbalise the sexual stuff that was just there non verbally before the bubble bursts. Interesting. She tells me to add her to Facebook so we can stay in touch. I take out my phone and friend request her and she walks off to the DIY shop.

In hindsight I think the best option here would have been to just walk to the club while chatting to her, and she probably would have come in with me, then who knows what… The boyfriend thing threw me. I think she just got caught up so much in the moment, that it wasn’t until I started to try and verbally escalate that she snapped out of it. Things like eyefucking hit the girls hindbrain, but directly verbalising stuff has to go via the logical forebrain, and in doing so activate a girls ASD (anti slut defence). As Tim says in The Flawless Natural, “Doing, not talking”. Lesson learned.

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Stats since 1st June:
27 approaches
3 number closes
1 kiss close
0 f closes

About six weeks ago I number closed a Chinese girl in a bar. She was the obstacle in my wing’s 2 set, and initially I wasn’t interested in her (orientals aren’t my type), but she won me over with her personality. I text her the next day, and gave up after not getting a reply.

When I was in set with her, I find out that she lives in a block of flats just 5 minutes down the road from me. Maybe you can see where this is leading…

Anyway, on my way to catch the tube (heading into central London for a quick day game session), I notice her out of the corner of my eye as I wait to cross the road at some traffic lights. She notices me too. I can tell by the look on her face that she recognises me.

I stand there with a little grin on my face as we wait for the lights to change. I could reopen, maybe?

I decide to let sleeping dogs lie and go about my day without saying a word to her.

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Stats since 1st June:
22 approaches
2 number closes
1 kiss close
0 f closes

The bad night trap

Posted: June 26, 2011 in Uncategorized

I just got back from a sarging session in a central London club about a while ago, and I just wanted to get my thoughts into words while it’s all still fresh in my mind.

I’ve been doing OK in bar / club game lately in that I’ve started to number close with some regularity, despite opening very few sets. I feel a lot more comfortable and confident opening, hooking and building attraction then going for a number close than I ever have before. My confidence with women in a bar or club was at an all time high, so when I entered the club tonight I thought the night would go well.

I open my first set with absolutely no AA. It’s a seated 5 set of orientals, so not ideal. I’m not attracted to any of them, but I think it’ll be a good warm up. The set doesn’t hook. I make a half arsed attempt at ploughing through, but soon eject. Since I don’t fancy any of them I just can’t be bothered to try hard for the hook.

A bit later at the bar I open a girl. She seems moderately into it, but it doesn’t quite hook. Looking back I could have maybe put some more effort in and hooked, but the logistics were bad; she was just about to collect her drinks. This is a bullshit excuse though, always push each set to its limit. You don’t know how far you can go till you try.

Next a wing opens a large group by the dance floor. One of the girls randomly grabs me for a photo. I try to talk to her and she blanks me. Probably not intentional, the music was loud and she was hyper, but it felt bad. I saw the photo that was taken, and it was a piss take. It was her pulling a yuck face as she posed with me. Obviously just a girlie joke, and I wouldn’t usually let it effect me, but for some reason that night it pissed me off.

And then it happened. Failing to hook two sets, then her blanking me. I decided I was having a ‘Bad Night’.

I’m sure you guys have all experienced this too. Things just aren’t working out how you thought they would, and you suddenly decide your having a bad night. As soon as the words, “I’m having a bad night” enter your head, you’re basically fucked. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. You decided you’re going to get blown out before you even open sets, so you either go in with low confidence, and so do get blown out, or you just don’t open.

I only opened one other set tonight, and it was an instant blow out. Like I said, I was having a bad night.

The truth is there really isn’t such a thing as a bad night. Each set is completely independent of each other. Failing to hook 5 sets in a row doesn’t mean you won’t hook the sixth. The previous blow outs in no way effect the next set, unless you let them. Unless you decide you’re having a bad night. The key is to not take validation from the way each set reacts to you. I’ve just discovered that seeking validation from girls is a big issue for me, and so that will get it’s own post soon.

A big problem I had tonight was my self image. Instead of having negative self image, my self image was actually too positive. I for some reason went into the club tonight thinking of myself as a guy who could effortlessly hook sets, and who doesn’t get ignored by girls because he has a great commanding presence about him. I had forgotten how much I’d sometimes have to plough to get sets to open, and how sometimes I went on to close even though I didn’t get a great initial reaction from the girl. This lead to me giving up too early on sets. I just felt ignored and ineffectual all night.

I have heard from a few different PUAs that when you first start to get good you can actually mindfuck yourself a bit. You start to feel good with women, but now you feel anxious because you want to repeat your best performances. You know you can open and hook like a true player, so you feel nervous about being able to live up to your previous best. Your ego will be bruised if you don’t open as well as you know you could.

I winged in another set and started getting some minor IOIs from an Indian HB9 that looked a bit like Kim Kardashian. Since Kim Kardashian is my idea of a perfect women, this is good news. The best part is that I’m not thrown at all by her beauty. Five minutes into set and things are going OK. It could still go either way. I’m getting verbal IOIs (where are you from, how old are you, asking my name again etc), but physically it doesn’t seem to be on. She resists my attempt at grabbing her hand and isn’t standing too close to me. At this point I’m guessing I have maybe a 20% (pulled this figure out of my ass, but you get the idea) chance of number closing if the set keeps going for another 15/20 minutes. Then I get cockblocked as her sister drags her off to dance. C’est la vie.

If you take one thing away from this post let it be this: The reaction of a single girl is meaningless. Keep doing after what you want, and let nothing and no one get you down.

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Stats since 1st June:
22 approaches
2 number closes
1 kiss close
0 f closes

Lead and be non-needy

Posted: June 24, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Leading in a PUA sense is when you, as the man, take the lead in the relationship and the girl follows you. Good examples are deciding on the venue for a date rather than asking her or maybe taking her by the hand in the club and leading her to the dance floor. Leading allows the pick up artist to establish the correct male/female dynamic in an interaction with a woman. It allows the woman to not have to make too many decisions, as she feels she can entrust them to you. She feels safe with you because you are a man with a plan. She can relax and be feminine, surrounded by your masculine presence. For these reasons leading is a very attractive thing for a man to do.

In this day and age many men don’t even realize they should be leading. This is why the modern man is so often unattractive to women. I have had dates tell me they loved how I sorted out all the details and logistics of a date, and all they had to do was turn up at the date / time specified. They said this stood out in stark contrast to guys who had turned up to dates and asked them where they thought they should go.

On the other hand there is neediness. This is when a guy is obviously very invested in a woman and needs her company and positive reactions to be happy. A typical symton of this is following a girl around in a club like a puppy dog after opening her went well. Neediness is an attraction killer. It will kill attraction stone dead very fast in a girl you’ve just met. Girls like guys who are non needy to the point where they could walk away at any time if they don’t like what’s going on. It’s a sign that the guy values himself more than he values some girl he’s just met.

Although I do still feel I should be opening more sets, it is these two things that are my main sticking points at the moment. A recent set I had in a London nightclub serves as a practical illustration of where I’m going wrong.

I’m in the club’s smoking area with a wing. We’ve just come out of a set I’d opened which we’d been in for the best part of an hour, in which he closed a Cameron Diaz (but with a bigger nose) look a like, and now I’m chilling out having a smoke. I spot HBNerdyGlasses standing alone smoking. She’s a 7 but dressed really casually. She looks at me and I hold her gaze and smile. A minute later, she looks again. This time I eye fuck her a little, and she looks away smiling.

It hasn’t even entered my mind to approach her. I still haven’t internalized that I’m the kind of guy that approaches women he wants to fuck as soon as he sees them. My self image isn’t quite there yet, so the approach is not yet instinctual for me like it is for some people. My wing notices the eye game I’ve been playing.

“Approach her”

“Nah, I…”

“Approach her or I’m going to hurt you”

This makes me laugh and I go over and open using my standard opener (just saying hello and introducing myself). Given the approach invitation she obviously opens easily and hooks well. We banter for 10 minutes and my wing leaves. She’s from Poland, visiting the country with a  friend. She just got in today and is here for 5 days. A girl on holiday, prime for the fucking methinks. I get some pretty solid IOIs from her, and decide it’s time to escalate. I think the dance floor is more appropriate, so I tell her to come dance with me. She says she needs the loo and another drink first as we head back inside.

So I’ve opened and got attraction fairly effortlessly, but now it pretty much goes downhill from here. She goes to the toilet in the lobby. I think that since I’m only 10 minutes into the set, I need to stick with her so I don’t lose her. As I stand there waiting something feels wrong. My masculinity is slowly ebbing away since I’m now, by waiting for her, both letting her lead me and showing neediness.

She comes out of the toilet and we go to the bar. We have drinks, and she gets very close to me, pressing her tits against me. At this point I really should have escalated, and maybe gone for the kiss close, but I’m not in the habit of doing this yet. This has got to change, I need to get more used to escalating when the time is right. I was focused on getting her on the dance floor to escalate, but that shouldn’t be necessary.

I try and get her on the dance floor. She says she wants to smoke again first. I lead her by the hand to the smoking area. Note, that although I’m physically leading her through the club, she is effectively taking the lead, as she is deciding what to do.

In the smoking area she ups the IOIs, touching my chest and dropping hints about the face I live alone and live not far from the club. I’m feeling good about the set, and am thinking about the logistics on an SNL. Since she’s only here for 5 days I figure she’s looking for a ONS, not a LTR.  Maybe I was jumping the gun a bit, but it’s better to be overly optimistic about these things than to lean towards pessimism. She invites me to go with her and her friend to Kew Gardens the following morning.

I lead her back into the club. I go to the loo and she goes to her friends rather than waiting for me. I go and find her, and it feels like I’m following her around. I try for the dance floor again. She wants another drink. I chat to her and her friends. I take her friends mobile number (HBNerdyGlasses doesn’t have a UK mobile).

She seems to get bored and pays me less and less attention. She asks me where my friends have got to. This seems like a hint to leave her, but I tell myself that thinking this way is just me being pessimistic. She pays me less and less attention to the point where I just feel like a little puppy hanging around her. I have failed to take the lead, and now am displaying neediness because I desperately want the SNL. I realize I should have ejected soon after getting the number. I walk off to find my wings.

In retrospect, I would have not waited for her when she went to the toilet. I would have risked not seeing her again later. I also would have ejected soon after getting her number when she repeatedly failed to let me lead her.

In future I will walk away from any set rather than show neediness, and will eject if I can’t take the lead enough. If I haven’t closed I can always reopen later. I will also reduce my sets to around 30 – 40 minutes in length rather than an hour. I will eject while the girl is on a high, leaving her wanting more. This allows the girl to have fun with her friends, and stops me coming across as needy.

It will also allow me to get 2 maybe even 3 fairly solid numbers a night. If I can consistently get around 5 numbers like this a week from bar game, I’ll soon have more day2s than I can handle. When that happens I’ll start moving into abundance, which makes everything easier. I’m going to hold of chasing SNLs for now, as it’s causing me to follow the girl around expectantly too much. My only concern is ejecting to soon due to playing it too cool. I’ve done this in the past and it kills my results.

———————————————
Stats since 1st June:
17 approaches
2 number closes
1 kiss close
0 f closes

“Flawless Natural” is a 6 DVD set which which is a recording of one of Real Social Dynamics’ seminars. For those of you who don’t know, Real Social Dynamics is a pick up instruction company started by Tyler Durden, a man made famous in the community by being heavily featured Neil Strauss’ best selling book, “The Game”. The seminar is about how to apply natural game in a nightclub / bar.

Real Social Dynamics is well known for having instructors capable of running really enthralling seminars. The instructor giving this seminar, Tim (aka ‘Natural’ Tim) is no exception. His presentation style is high energy, which captivates you and makes the 5 hours worth of footage fly by.

The seminar is almost exclusively focused on techniques and mindsets which can be applied in the field, rather than doing into any of the pick up theory behind it. It’s all about what to do and how, but not why to do it. Knowing all the theory in depth like it’s some sort of academic subject can cause guys to freeze up when they’re actually stood in front of a real life girl, and so I think this is a good thing. Tim drops all the standard community geeky / scientific sounding pick up terms (think social hook point, FTC…), and instead gives his concepts cool sounding names like “Spontaneous Lovestriking” and “The Claw of Glory”.

Non verbal communication is what this DVD set really focuses on. There’s a whole DVD devoted to getting physical (kino) and a large section on the importance of vocal tonality and volume. This is what natural game is really about. Sub-communicating higher value via your non verbals, rather than techniques to to ‘trick’ the girl into thinking your higher value than her (negging, DHV stories). Although Tim never mentions the concept of value, it’s obvious many of the things he teaches are techniques which allow a man to act in a way which shows that he’s higher value than the woman. An example would be when you open a girl who is walking by you in the club. You stay with your feet routed to the spot and pull her towards you. The reason for this is because moving towards her denotes lower value, but he doesn’t explain this. This makes me think that this is clever marketing by RSD. They remove all the geeky terms and explanations in order to repackage their product so they can sell it to a wider audience (non geeks) and sell it as new to their existing customers.

As well as the non verbal stuff, Tim does give a few examples of openers which he uses, and conversational techniques. The openers are simple and non gamey, which makes them perfect for people who hate “Who lies more?” style opinion openers. The best conversational technique he gives is probably how to create what he calls, “The Bubble of Love” around you and a girl. This is basically a situation where you’re talking to a girl in set and you both know that the it’s more than just “Let’s just be friends”. There is a sexual / romantic undertone. I think there are many times in set when a guy doesn’t know where he is and isn’t sure whether it’s on or not, or how to progress things and get to this “Bubble of Love” point. Times like this are frustrating for many guys, because they want to ramp things up but aren’t sure what to do. Tim’s 5 random interview questions routine comes into play in situations like this, and allows you to add spark into the conversation. This could be the difference between getting a lay and just having a nice chat. I can really see myself using this routine. Will field test when the opportunity next arises.

A key part of the Flawless Natural Method is being in state when opening sets, and cutting the thinking process down when practising pick up, so the PUA can be in the moment as much as possible. This is why all the theory is dropped in place of simple techniques. Theory has put many a wannbe PUA into his own head when he should be living in the moment.  The only problem with state is, that if you come to rely on it, when you’re not in state you’ll completely freeze, and spend the whole night complaining that you aren’t in state. I have seen guys do this in the field. Luckily, he does give some practical advice about getting into state.

How do I think this will help my bar / club game? I think it will help me in the following ways:

Kino – Although I don’t have much anxiety at physically escalating on girls any more, I’m not as touchy feely as I should be. Tim says to start kino within the first couple of minutes. The longer you wait the more weird it gets. He also tells guys to be more purposeful with their kino. So silly little touches on their arm. Go for broke and grab their hand or put your arm around them.

Adding spark to humdrum sets – Some of the techniques shown to create a bubble of love will help me with this.

Being non needy – One thing I’m starting to notice now I can hang in sets for a long time is that I’m hanging in there for too long and coming across as needy (post coming up on this soon, is a sticking point). Tim says you should eject after not too long, and have brief chats with them throughout the night after that.

Getting my caveman on – Tim says the girls often comment, “You’re so aggressive” to which he replies, “Yeah, I am”. They then tell him that they like this. I need to get used to pulling girls in, and telling them to come to me.

I’ll have to field test some of this stuff over the coming months and let you know how I get on.

I think there is just one area where this product falls over: price. At $269 I find it hard to justify this purchase. It’s good yes, but I don’t think I like the idea of paying more than $99 for it.

All in all a solid product. Good for guys who can approach but are lacking spark in their sets, or who aren’t being physical enough or who spend too much time in their own heads when in the club can benefit from this. If you’re still trying to work out what to open sets with, or are terrified to even touch a girl when in set then I think you’d need to work on your confidence a little (open more sets, get blown out more) before you’d get much out of this. Complete noobs might want to read something like the Mystery Method first.

Score: 4/5 A good product for guys who have opened their first 100 sets, but over priced.

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Stats since 1st June:
16 approaches
2 number closes
1 kiss close
0 f closes

I pickup a girl in one of London’s largest clubs. We’ll call her HBFrauline. The pickup is effortless. I walk by her booth as she’s sat with her friends and smile at her. She nudges my leg and I open with something I can’t remember. She stands up. Flirtatious banter ensuses. Kiss close within 5 minutes. I stay with her for about 4 hours. She gets drunk and starts getting quite dominant, dragging me around the club. There’s a lot of escalation. She’s got my hand down my trousers and I finger her a few times.

At one point she’s asking me if I have a girlfriend. I tell her it depends what she classes as a girlfriend. I remain aloof on the topic and she probes me for information, telling me the last guy she was seeing turned out to be married.

I remain relaxed, and make sure I don’t end up following her like a little puppy. It feels a bit like she’s taking the lead at times, but I never became her little bitch. Still this is unusual for me. Girls are often submissive with me. Since she’s drunk and seems to boss around most of her friends (both male and female) I don’t think much of it. At the end of the night I grab some food with her and her friends, then after she makes it clear that the SNL isn’t happening, I head home in the early hours. She is very insistent that I should call her the next day.

The next day she rings me. At this point I’m fairly certain that this is a great prospect. You don’t often get the girl calling you after the number close. We chat for 30 minutes.  She lives in an area of London which I like to go out in but haven’t been to for a while, so I set up a day 2 with her there of the following week. She texts me earlier in the week asking if it’s still on, telling me she’s looking forward to it and building rapport with me. So far things a going well, and it feels like fclosing her on the day2 is a very real possibility.

The day2 is when I start to feel like she’s gaming me.

We go out for a drink. I’m bantering with her and teasing her. Things are going well. Then I start to escalate. She gives me funny looks when I try and hold her hand, so I back off. Looking back on this now, this actually seems like a bit of a shit test. When a girl doesn’t want you to escalate her body language goes uncomfortable. Her’s didn’t, she just gave me a look. I should have ignored it.

She’s obviously interested, but playing it kind of aloof. She reminds me of me gaming all the girls I met via online dating. For example, when I said, “I had fun tonight” she just replied, “Good”, instead of saying she had fun to. That’s exactly what I would do to a girl I’m gaming. The end of the night was interesting. She refused my kiss close 3 times (this is despite the fact I fingered her the fast time I met her), but then at the bus stop she full on grabs me and starts passionately kissing me. Her hands go down inside my underwear, stroking my cock. I tell her I want her to show me her flat. She refuses. I remain playful, and tell her she should. She’s not having any of it.

We make vague plans to meet again, but she’s quite evasive on the days. She’s trying to be quite dominant, trying to get me to reserve nights for her when she ‘might’ be free. I’m having none of it though, telling her she’s being silly if she expects me to do that.

My read on the situation is that things escalated too far for her liking on the first night we met, and now she wants to put a break on things to show that she isn’t easy. Not sure how this one is going to play out, not sure I can be bothered to put the effort into laying this girl. That being said I’m trying to work towards an fclose every month, and she seems like my best (only) option.

———————————————
Stats since 1st June:
14 approaches
2 number closes
1 kiss close
0 f closes

Looking back at my approach spreadsheet (yes I’m a geek and I keep on of these) I realized that due to other things getting in the way I haven’t been day game approaching regularly for almost 3 weeks now. I gave myself a kick up the ass and headed straight for London’s day game Mecca, Oxford Street, after work.

I did the usual thing of smoking and listening to music for 15 minutes to get in the mood, then I went to work approaching. Only I didn’t. Usually these days once I go into ‘sarge mode’ I can go direct on the first girl I see who I like. It’s just opening loads more sets after that which is a problem.

Eventually after 40 mins I open a girl. I’ve been standing around getting progressively more nervous for the past 40 minutes and so the confidence just isn’t there. She looked like she was going to hook, but didn’t quite. On a good day I would have hooked her.

I’m a little disappointed, but I’m not beating myself up about it. Progress at anything that requires skill isn’t an upward curve, but rather a series of dips, followed by upward spurts then long plateaus. I had a dip a while back, and a spurt of upward progress soon followed. I think the same will happen now, so my day game should b on the up over the next week or so.

After my first set laziness took over and I went home. Fear and laziness are my sworn enemies.

On my way home I saw an advert at the tube station. Like many adverts this one centered on a picture of a beautiful women. I remember not so long ago looking at adverts like this and lamenting the fact I’d never get to fuck girls like that. Then I started in pickup, and I’d see these adverts and wonder if I’d ever be good enough to fuck girls like that.

Today was different. I looked at the picture of the hottie and knew I was good enough. I feel like all the pieces are there, now I just need to connect the dots. I’m a bit inconsistent and rough around the edges, but it won’t be long now. Something inside me has changed.

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Stats since 1st June:
8 approaches
1 number closes
1 kiss closes
0 f closes

Abundance

Posted: June 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

I came straight home from work today instead of going day gaming. I didn’t get much sleep last night and so I was a bit shattered, and just thought I’d do my shopping tonight instead of tomorrow and go out sarging tomorrow instead. I then had this text exchange with a girl I went on a day2 with last week (FR coming soon), and have a day3 lined up for Thursday:

Her: Hey. What you doing right now? [Hmmm, she’s going to invite me out. Should I pretend to be busy doing something cool? No, doing fuck all is OK on a Monday night. Let’s see what she’s got to offer.]

Me: Chilling at home

Her: Want to come to xxxx [Her neighbourhood]

Me: That’d be cool. But you have to bare in mind: 1. I’m tired tonight 2. I can’t spend much cash [A retarded text. I DLV with my lack of cash, and I now essentially give her the choice of whether to see me or not, rather than making the decision myself. Always be leading, never be doing this.]

Her: We can leave it Thursday

Me: You eaten yet? [I’m hungry and a pub near her does a great deal on 2 meals.]

Her: Let’s keep it Thursday

Me: Probably best [Lousy attempt to maintain some fucking value here]

Back when I was internet dating I would effortlessly lead and maintain a good high value frame. As a result I fucked more of the girls I went on dates with than I didn’t. At the moment I’ve been doing horrifically badly at day2s, and this is why. Fairly weak frame, falling for beta bait like this and coming across as desperate to see the girl.

The main reason for this? I’m not living in sexual abundance. A player is said to be in sexual abundance when he has more sexual options than he actually wants / needs. It makes maintaining a high value frame in situations like this simple. You literally have so many sexual options that you don’t care if you see the girl or not, and this comes across in situations like this. The interaction above is the result of me not having sex for a month, and this girl being my only option at the moment. True, I could fake the abundance mindsets in my texts, but this is hard when you know deep down that this girl is the best chance of getting a lay any time soon. If I was living in abundance, my replies to her text could have been like this:

Her: Hey. What you doing right now?

ME: Busy [Too much pussy in my life]

or

Her: Hey. What you doing right now?

Me: Robbing a bank. Don’t tell anyone [I have another girl on the go besides you]

Abundance is very powerful, and sub communicating it will help make a girl chase you. Take my wing for example. He has got himself 2 fuck buddies in the past month. There are two other girls that want to fuck him. On top of this, he’s got some fresh leads to follow up on from the weekend’s sarging. The result? I know for a fact that one of the girls who wants to fuck him is trying to find photos of him on Facebook, despite (because of) the fact he’s being luke warm towards her. He doesn’t need to fuck her, so she chases him.

Until I get into abundance myself (can be achieved in the next 6 weeks if I just open 5 sets a night when doing bar game) I’m going to have to fake it. Every text will be well thought out.

Learn from my mistakes.

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Stats since 1st June:
7 approaches
1 number closes
1 kiss closes
0 f closes

Read Part 1

So I have a day2 set up with HBLith, but I realise I have basically no money left till pay day. This is something that’s continually getting in the way of my game. I decide a coffee date would be the cheaper option, so I go for that.

I meet her in central London after work one day, having told her that I know a great independent coffee shop nearby. As soon as she arrives I realise I can’t actually remember where it is (I’d only been there once before). I tell her we’ll go this way and we start to walk. Always be leading confidently, even if you don’t know where you’re going. Which I didn’t.

We end up in a crappy little Starbucks. Starbuck’s places can be OK, but this one’s tiny and all the tables a dirty. Fuck. A change of plan is needed, so I take her for a walk in a near by square. We sit drinking our coffee for nearly an hour. I do all the standard stuff. Find out about her passions, future projection, all mixed in with mild teasing. I try once to sexualize the conversation but she ignores it. We are getting on well but there’s no fireworks yet.

I tell her it’s time to go home. She looks a bit surprised, “Already?”, she says. Maybe I should have ended the date here. Leave her wanting more. I decide I would like a drink and to go for the K close, so I say, “Well we’ll stop at the pub before the tube station of course”.

We go to a semi decent bar, getting there in time for happy hour. After getting the drinks in I go to sit in a booth. I realise at this point I should be more physical. I should guide girls around on day2s with my hand on their back. It creates a “we’re together” frame, and helps build attraction by leading. She says something about sitting in some other seats. I look over at where she’s pointing. It’s two chairs with a table between them. Fuck that, I think, I want to get physical. “No, here” I say sitting down in the booth.

She sits down next to me and we chat. I’m having a good time and getting a bit touchy feely. She responds well verbally, but is luke warm physically. I go for the kiss anyway and am denied. I handle the rejection like a boss. I tell her to get the second round in. So far things are going so-so, but I’m not exactly rocking her world. During the second round of drinks I’m denied the K close again. That’s the third time from this girl. I’m starting to get impatient, and this is when things go wrong. I tell her I’m confused as to why she won’t kiss me, because I know she finds me attractive. The self is always coming through, and here I’m showing her my insecurity. Bad. She tells me she isn’t attracted to me. I continue to dig myself deeper by asking her what she thinks of me. I’ve done this before and it’s really bad. I have determined that this will be the last time I do this. What a girl thinks of me just isn’t relevant to me. She tells me she thinks I like to act tough. This makes no sense, I’ve never played the tough guy. I do, however, think that acting confidently isn’t yet congruent with what’s going on in my own head, and this is probably what she’s picking up on. This is probably what most girls I date but don’t F close are picking up on.

I end the date. She agrees to a day3, but flakes 90 minutes before we’re meant to meet. She is very responsive too my texts, but I sense it’s just not going to happen with us, and so I ask my mentor for his advice. He tells me that if girls come straight out and tell you that they’re not attracted to you, they probably mean it. Since she still seems interested in hanging out with me, he recommends I friendzone her.

He reasons that a guy with good dating options (like a guy with game needs to pretend he has, even if he hasn’t) wouldn’t continue to chase this girl. To do so after she has said she’s not attracted to me would be a sign of desperation, which isn’t attractive. The only reason a guy with good game would spend more time with this girl would be if he had placed her firmly in the friendzone. He also points out that due to female psychology (women want what they can’t have), friendzoning her might actually make her start to chase me sexually. If this happens I’ll go for it, if not I’ll just keep her as a friend. Either way I’m not going to actively pursue sex with this girl any more. I’ll probably see her again, but this set is now closed.

Luckily, I now have a new target in play…

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Stats since 1st June:
7 approaches
1 number closes
1 kiss closes
0 f closes