Bar pickup – Part 2

Posted: June 13, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Read Part 1

So I have a day2 set up with HBLith, but I realise I have basically no money left till pay day. This is something that’s continually getting in the way of my game. I decide a coffee date would be the cheaper option, so I go for that.

I meet her in central London after work one day, having told her that I know a great independent coffee shop nearby. As soon as she arrives I realise I can’t actually remember where it is (I’d only been there once before). I tell her we’ll go this way and we start to walk. Always be leading confidently, even if you don’t know where you’re going. Which I didn’t.

We end up in a crappy little Starbucks. Starbuck’s places can be OK, but this one’s tiny and all the tables a dirty. Fuck. A change of plan is needed, so I take her for a walk in a near by square. We sit drinking our coffee for nearly an hour. I do all the standard stuff. Find out about her passions, future projection, all mixed in with mild teasing. I try once to sexualize the conversation but she ignores it. We are getting on well but there’s no fireworks yet.

I tell her it’s time to go home. She looks a bit surprised, “Already?”, she says. Maybe I should have ended the date here. Leave her wanting more. I decide I would like a drink and to go for the K close, so I say, “Well we’ll stop at the pub before the tube station of course”.

We go to a semi decent bar, getting there in time for happy hour. After getting the drinks in I go to sit in a booth. I realise at this point I should be more physical. I should guide girls around on day2s with my hand on their back. It creates a “we’re together” frame, and helps build attraction by leading. She says something about sitting in some other seats. I look over at where she’s pointing. It’s two chairs with a table between them. Fuck that, I think, I want to get physical. “No, here” I say sitting down in the booth.

She sits down next to me and we chat. I’m having a good time and getting a bit touchy feely. She responds well verbally, but is luke warm physically. I go for the kiss anyway and am denied. I handle the rejection like a boss. I tell her to get the second round in. So far things are going so-so, but I’m not exactly rocking her world. During the second round of drinks I’m denied the K close again. That’s the third time from this girl. I’m starting to get impatient, and this is when things go wrong. I tell her I’m confused as to why she won’t kiss me, because I know she finds me attractive. The self is always coming through, and here I’m showing her my insecurity. Bad. She tells me she isn’t attracted to me. I continue to dig myself deeper by asking her what she thinks of me. I’ve done this before and it’s really bad. I have determined that this will be the last time I do this. What a girl thinks of me just isn’t relevant to me. She tells me she thinks I like to act tough. This makes no sense, I’ve never played the tough guy. I do, however, think that acting confidently isn’t yet congruent with what’s going on in my own head, and this is probably what she’s picking up on. This is probably what most girls I date but don’t F close are picking up on.

I end the date. She agrees to a day3, but flakes 90 minutes before we’re meant to meet. She is very responsive too my texts, but I sense it’s just not going to happen with us, and so I ask my mentor for his advice. He tells me that if girls come straight out and tell you that they’re not attracted to you, they probably mean it. Since she still seems interested in hanging out with me, he recommends I friendzone her.

He reasons that a guy with good dating options (like a guy with game needs to pretend he has, even if he hasn’t) wouldn’t continue to chase this girl. To do so after she has said she’s not attracted to me would be a sign of desperation, which isn’t attractive. The only reason a guy with good game would spend more time with this girl would be if he had placed her firmly in the friendzone. He also points out that due to female psychology (women want what they can’t have), friendzoning her might actually make her start to chase me sexually. If this happens I’ll go for it, if not I’ll just keep her as a friend. Either way I’m not going to actively pursue sex with this girl any more. I’ll probably see her again, but this set is now closed.

Luckily, I now have a new target in play…

———————————————
Stats since 1st June:
7 approaches
1 number closes
1 kiss closes
0 f closes

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