I suck at day 2s

Posted: July 7, 2011 in Uncategorized
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As I gradually get better and better at picking girls up in bars, clubs and on the street, a new sticking point is emerging. Day 2s. The facts are clear. So far this year I have had 7 day 2s from cold approach, and got only one lay as a result of those. Three of the girls out of the six I haven’t laid are still in my orbit, but I don’t hold out much hope.

This comes as a surprise to be because of my success with online dating day 2s. With online dating I went on dates with 10 girls, resulting in lays with 5 of the girls, and a handjob from a sixth. I’m looking at my online day2s and the cold approach ones to see what the difference is. The main factor does seem to be the hotness of the women. I’ve been on dates from cold approach with 8s, and I never met girls online who were that hot. This is probably the biggest factor. I honestly thought I was better than most the girls I met online. Really believing you’re higher value than a girl makes gaming her so simple. The hard part comes when you think the girl is too hot for you. It comes across in your behaviour in really subtle, but almost unavoidable ways.

I think I’m a lot more down to earth during my day2s now as opposed to when I was doing online dating. I often got called arrogant by girls I met online, but they still fucked me. I think maybe I need to add a touch of cocky asshole to my day2s. They just feel quite flat at the moment.

I have noticed that I seem to be quite in my head when I’m on a day2 with a girl. I’m always thinking what I should do next in order to win her over, or wondering how much she likes me or not. This is a bit how I used to be  when picking up girls in bars or on the street. I was stuck in my own head, second guessing my moves, worrying what the girl might be thinking about me. Now I am just starting to say and do pretty much what ever the fuck I want. And this is resulting in number closes and dates. In other words I just need to act the same as I did during the initial pickup on the day2.

The question that then arises is why am I so in my head on dates when I’m not when I’m out sarging? I think the answer is outcome independence. When I open a set I’m honestly not that bothered if it goes well or not. If  it doesn’t, I can just move onto the next set, or there will be another sarging session soon with more girls to hit on. So, when opening sets I am starting to internalize an abundance mindset, which leads to outcome independence. I know that any single set is unimportant because there are so many other sets. My day2s however are far more rare. I’ve been getting 1 -2 a month, which isn’t enough to stop my worrying about fucking up an individual date. I’m hoping my 100 sets of challenge will help here. If I open more sets I can be getting one day2 a week, which will allow me to chill out much more. Money is going to be an issue here. I will have to limit by day 2 expenditure to no more than £10 a time. This is possible. Just 2 rounds of drinks, drunk slowly. One at one venue, bounce, then she buys the next round. Or if it’s a nice day coffee / ice cream and a walk. I’m going to research cheap day2 opportunities in London. It’d be nice to go on 5 day2s and a few day3s a month, all for no more than £100. Any ideas for dirt cheap day2s?

I’m going to speak to my mentor soon about how to work towards detaching from the outcome on a date, so I can chill out and be more spontaneous, but I really do think the main thing is just dating more women.

This feels like the last major sticking point before my world becomes flooded with pussy.

———————————————
Stats since 1st July:
15 approaches
4 number closes
1 kiss close
0 f closes

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Comments
  1. krauserpua says:

    1 lay in 7 day twos really isn’t bad at all at this stage. Really the sticking point is getting from approaches into day 2s. So keep working on that.

    Also, never underestimate the sheer magnitude of what we are trying to do with cold approach – find exactly the girl we like, who doesn’t know us from Adam, has no attraction or history with us, may be unavailable – and then fuck that girl. It’s a big ask.

    Online dating is a self-selecting pool of women who are trying to get laid and actively seeking it. So if an online girl meets for a date, you ought to be fucking her. Totally different game for cold approach – her turning up just means she’s attracted / intrigued. Lots more hoops still left to lead her through.

    • betatopua says:

      I think you’ve summed up the difference between cold approach and online game really nicely there.

      Yeah, cold approach is a big ask. You get a lot of people on the forums who say it’s simple, but these people tend to fall into two categories:

      1. Naturals who have just never had a problem with women and wonder what all the fuss is about. These guys think that since it comes so easily to them it must be easy for everyone.

      2. Guys who dismiss it as easy but have really mediocre results. Like maybe a lay every couple of months with at best average women.

      Every guy who gets good results but started off really shit with women and had to make a conscious effort to improve says the same thing: it’s a lot of hard work to get any good. 95% failure rate for guys entering the community.

  2. Bhodisatta says:

    I’ve always had an inability to give a shit about any girl who I don’t believe is on the looks front way ahead of me. E.g. I’m a 6 and they’re an 8 or 9. Basically unless some part of your brain is thinking “fuck this girl is hot” then forget it. The trick is of course learning to act like she’s actually not all that. This is where game comes in, cos basically even though you want to ram her hotness you detach from this and focus on the holistic value equation, you stop chasing her beauty and become convinced that in overall terms you are the value and it is her opportunity not yours. “beautiful women are common, Alphas are rare”. It’s a bit of a mental juggling act. Once your inner game’s sorted then you don’t actually believe she’s out of your league, but you kind of realise than on looks terms she is.
    It comes down to this really; you have the resources, resourcefulness and intelligence and she has the beauty. You exchange one for the other. Thus “plain” guys get beautiful girls and both are deliriously happy. The intelligence/resources/humour/morality/money equation is not balanced equally, women generally to be blunt don’t have as much. What they have is sexual attractiveness. The happiest relationships are where the women is hotter than the man.
    Of course these days it gets all fucked up and you get poor, deluded women “looking for hot guys”. No no you silly girl! You don’t need boy-band looks. What you need is an arrogant potato-head (like me or you, your head is quite potatoey too); a casual toss of the head, a laughing neg, confusing contrasting sensitivity, a display of frightening intelligence and insight, casual evidence of pre-selection……and they’ll be hot to trot.

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