The secret of guys who get good at pickup fast

Posted: July 7, 2011 in Uncategorized
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I’ve been in the seduction community for over a year now, and in that time have met many aspiring pickup artists. This has allowed me to spot some patterns.

One thing I’ve come to notice about guys who make rapid improvement is how they treat success and failure. When a rapid progresser has a bad set they usually instantly forget about it. If they make any obvious mistakes they’ll make a quick mental note of it, then move on. They won’t blame themselves for the set going badly, and they won’t dwell on the set. When they have a good set they will seek to replicate the behavior they displayed in this set in future sets. They will use their past success as a template for future actions. They also seem to spend much more time dwelling on their successes than they do on their failures.

This is a stark contrast to guys like me who have made very slow progress. We tend to spend a long time dissecting our bad sets in minute detail. We replay mistakes in our head. We take ownership of all our minor fuck ups and come to the conclusion we suck. When we have success we will be happy, but we often don’t learn too much from it, chalking this success up to luck.

This observation reminded me of a book I read Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. The author of this book tells us that our brains, specifically our subconsciousness can either be automatic success mechanisms guiding us to greatness, or automatic failure mechanisms. In order to get the automatic success mechanism you have to focus on the desired end goal, and use previous successful behavior as a road map which points you in the right direction to achieve that goal. Mistakes are quickly noted so they can be avoided in the future, but then are put out of mind.

I’ll remember this next time I’m out sarging. After a bad set I will not discuss it with a wing, or think about it much. I’ll be much better off just opening my next set.

———————————————
Stats since 1st July:
15 approaches
4 number closes
1 kiss close
0 f closes

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Comments
  1. I really need to start a blog about my progress. I believe my little journey is pretty enlightening considering 4 months ago I had a breakdown in my apartment crying because I felt so alone and unattractive. Anyways, I’d like to make a suggestion. I too once used PUA terms like sarging. I quickly put that shit behind me. That’s not how I talk or think and doing some things PUA sometimes do to score wasn’t making me feel comfortable. If you’re like me, you’ve got some good friends. People you act like yourself with. They enjoy you for a reason.

    Going out and hitting on girls should be an extension of who you are naturally. I’m cocky and witty with my friends. I wasn’t like that with girls I found hot because I was so damn shy. Now I just act like myself, with a sexual drive of course, and I have yet to have a bad experience or not get some sort of “close.”

    Reading your blog reminds me so much of the first month I went out hitting on girls. I think once you drop the PUA antics, be yourself with a sexual drive, and just approach the girls you’re genuinely interested in things are going to just click. Just my 2 pennies as usual.

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