Openers don’t open sets

Posted: July 29, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

I remember that it wasn’t all that long ago that I’d be standing around in a bar or on the street wracking my brains for a good opener to use on a girl I’d seen. This is a phase many guys new to pickup go through, and it’s the same for chodes. It is, of course, completely the wrong mindset.

Chodes think chat up lines get you girls. They think if you go in with a good opening line, the girl will be impressed. She’ll love your wit,  like you, and you pull. Firstly, this is erroneous thinking. The opener is just an ice breaker. It’s just basically saying hello. It’s what comes after that which defines whether or not you fuck the girl. Secondly, the need for a good opener shows weak inner game. A guy believes he has to say something witty to start a conversation with a girl, in order to get her to like him. He can’t rely on his presence alone to open a set. The thought of going in with nothing but his personality laid bare scares him, so he seeks a magic bullet in the form of a ‘guaranteed’ chat up line. Of course, if there were any chat up lines guaranteed to pull, they’d get famous, all guys would used them, and no one would ever go home alone again.

If openers don’t open sets, what does?

Presence. That’s what I call it anyway. Many within the seduction community would call it value.

What do I mean by presence? How do you generate a strong presence?

To me presence is just what you sub communicate about yourself. These sub communications come in the form of body language, eye contact, facial expression and voice tonality.

Weak presence / low value

These behaviors will lead to a low percentage of sets hooking.

  • Timid when it comes to invading the personal space of the girl/s he is opening
  • Small, submissive body language like he’s trying to hide away
  • Rapport seeking voice tonality, quietly spoken
  • Big, supplicating, ‘please like me’ smile on his face and weak eye contact

Strong presence / high value

These behaviors will lead to a high percentage of sets hooking, and will get you attraction all on their on reasonably often.

  • Not shy about invading girl’s personal space. Gets stuck in when he opens sets
  • Strong, masculine body language. He won’t hide away from the girls
  • Voice is loud and slow. Voice tonality is somewhere between neutral and breaking rapport
  • Cocky grin on his face, strong eye contact

It’s all about what these things sub communicate about the type of man you are. While I wouldn’t go as far as to say words are completely irrelevant, bad words and a strong presence will do better than good words and a weak presence. I’m still working on my non verbals, tweaking them all the time. I’ll do a post soon on what I consider to be strong non verbals, and how to go about getting them.

Don’t spend ages trying to work out what the best opener is. Just go in with good non verbals, and “Hello” will be good enough.

Stats since 1st July:
60 approaches
8 number closes
3 kiss closes
1 f closes


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