Archive for August, 2011

This is the first in what will be an ongoing (if I can be bothered) series of posts in which I present my readers with a real life scenario, and ask them, “What would you do?”. I’m interested to know what others would do in tough / borderline situations. Here’s the first scenario.

It’s Covent Garden on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I arrived less than 10 minutes ago and I’m yet to open a set. I see one girl that will do, and I turn to give chase. Just as I’m closing on her, I notice a significantly hotter girl coming the opposite direction. She has long pigtails, sparkly blue eyes, denim shorts that show off her luscious legs and a huge smile on her face. I abandon my current approach, turn and chase the new girl.

The stop and opening is pretty standard, “Thought you looked like the happiest person on the street, but your shorts make you look like a bad girl blah blah blah”. It hooks quite well, and despite some language barriers, and my vocal tonality being a bit off things go quite well. I tease her a bit about being a country girl lost in the big city, then do some rapport stuff and get some info on logistics. I find out the following:

  • She’s only 17 (16 is legal in the UK…)
  • She’s from Hungry
  • She’s on holiday with her parents and siblings (they are nearby, but not with her when I open)
She’s hooked really strongly and seems really into it. Given her age, the fact that her family (and I’m especially thinking about Daddy here) are around, and to top it all off she’s not a resident in the country I’m thinking that this set is just not logistically viable. That is the logical conclusion.
Putting logic to the side for a moment, there is an extremely hot 17 year old girl who seems fairly into me after I went direct on her standing in front of me. This is of great interest to my penis me in my quest to get better at game.
I think through my options:
  1. Try and instadate her now – I can already imagine her father tracking us down…
  2. Go for a number – She probably hasn’t got a UK mobile
  3. Burn the set – The sensible thing, but life isn’t lived to the fullest when you always do the sensible thing
What would you do?
———————————————
Stats since 1st August:
28 approaches
4 number closes
3 kiss closes
0 f closes

Learning from a natural

Posted: August 23, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags:

For the past 6 weeks one of my regular wings has been a guy who in PUA terms would be described as a ‘natural’.

As I’m sure most of you know, in PUA terms a natural is any man who has good success at bedding women without ever having studied seduction community material. My wing has been going to nightclubs 3 times a week for the passed 10 years, hitting on many women each time he goes. He is now at the point were he can lay a girl once every three times he goes (this works out at about 1 fclose for every 20 approaches). He has fucked roughly 200 women in his lifetime (he is mid 20s now), and his highlights include multiple 3 sums and laying multiple girls in a single night.

This guy is on a London based PUA forum. He found it after someone told him it was where the top womanizers in London hang out to trade tips. He assumed everyone on there was having 3 sums and orgies with models and lapdancers on a regular basis. He thought he had found the keys to the gate to the garden of Eden when he discovered this forum. Then he started to meet wings from it, and reality delivered him a swift kick to the knackers. He ended up meeting a load of guys who would talk in jargon he didn’t understand (“What do you mean you SNL’d last night? Did you shag that girl or not?”), and generally, act weird.

I have seen him in action first hand as as such believe the circa 200 women figure. I’ve seen him leave with girls, and have had HB8s come up to me and ask where he is, saying, ‘I need him in my life”. Yes, he’s a confirmed natural.

Since naturals don’t know any pickup theory, the only way to learn from them is via osmosis. Watch what they do and assimilate. Here are some things I’ve noticed while observing him. I assume many of these points are true for many naturals.

  1. He doesn’t understand the need for pickup theory, and doesn’t think it helps. He honestly doesn’t understand why I’m not fucking a new woman almost every week. He sees I can talk to women, so he assumes all I then have to do is ask them to come home with me.
  2. He has plenty of AA / can’t approach every set. He sticks to single girls (1 sets) most of the time, with the odd 2 set. He rarely opens sets with 3 or more girls in them. Also he tends to wait for girls to walk by him or come and stand near him before opening them. He won’t generally make a big walk over to some girls to open them. In other words he goes for easy, low anxiety approaches. Many community guys pride themselves on making ‘heroic’ approaches. Like going direct on girls in coffee shops infront of loads of strangers, opening a 5 set of HB9/10s in a club, or opening a mixed set with 4 huge AMOGs and one HB in it. They think the fact that they can make these really difficult (in terms of how scary they are) approaches which most men wouldn’t dare to attempt should be enough to entitle them to get laid regularly. Many of these approach heroes never / rarely get laid. This is because daring approaches don’t mean much, what comes after the approach is much more important. And this is the reason this natural does get laid. Although he doesn’t make particularly bold approaches, you just don’t need to do this in order to get laid loads as long as you have good game after the approach.
  3. He has standards. He’s not afraid to tell a girl exactly what he likes in a woman. This causes many girls to call him arrogant, but it means he comes across as selective. He rejects plenty of girls.
  4. He has really solid body language. His body language is very solid and masculine, and despite making many ‘mistakes’ like crossing his arms a lot, he projects a good image in the club. The way he positions himself relative to the girls in the set is also very good too. He always seems to manage to end up leaning back on some sort of fixed object like a pillar with the girls huddled around him. The sub communication of this is great… it’s very much like they are trying to pull him. I need to observe how the sly fox maneuvers himself into this position.
  5. He goes into each set with full intent to SNL. He’s not just chatting or practising.  One of the first things he does in a set is establish logistics. If there are poor logistics for an SNL, he instantly ejects. Very efficient.
  6. He feels no need to win the girl over. If the girl is stood there talking to him, he just assumes the lay. He makes no verbal attempt to win her over. There are no magic lines spoken by him to get the girl. In short, he assumes attraction.

———————————————
Stats since 1st August:
27 approaches
3 number closes
3 kiss closes
0 f closes

My new comfort zone

Posted: August 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

A few months ago I really wasn’t comfortable opening sets. At all. I thought I’d got past this, but after watching a seminar run by DJ Fuji on the basics, I realised I’ve just settled into a new comfort zone. This comfort zone includes:

  • Opening 2/3 sets a session in day game
  • Opening 3/4 sets a session in night game
  • Opening in more chilled out areas like the smoking area in night game
  • Opening single girls or 2-sets in night game

I need to kick my own ass. The thing is, I know how it feels to push yourself outside your comfort zone. It makes me feel like a little child. So small, and so scared by the world. If I stick to doing what I’ve done before, I’ll feel like a strong, confident man. I’ll also get the same results as I’ve got before. I really can’t live with that. The battle, as it often is when it comes to achieving anything worthwhile in life, is short term comfort vs long term reward. I really want the long term reward. I need to become more disciplined and push myself through the pain. This is what I want to work towards over the coming couple of months:

  • Spending 80% of my night in set. So in a typical 5 hour night game session I will be in set for 4 hours. At the moment my average is probably around 20%. The way to do this is to either have sets that hook well and stay in there, or to keep opening sets all night if that doesn’t happen. This could mean opening up to 20 sets a night.
  • Opening 4 sets in hour in day game. This is one set every 15 minutes. Currently I’m averaging one set every 40 minutes. – Consistently getting numbers every sarging session
  • Regularly isolating girls / leading them to a different part of the venue
  • Opening sets with 3 or more girls in them

If I can make all of this happen over the next couple of months, my confidence will increase, and my game will increase exponentially. Which, dear reader, means more pussy for yours truly.

———————————————
Stats since 1st August:
15 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

After the first week of this month went terribly for me in terms of game (more on this is a future post), I’m seriously considering giving up on cold approach. I’d still use online game.

What got me thinking this? Taking a good hard look at the effort I’m putting into game in terms of hours and emotion invested in it, and comparing this effort to the results. Lets look at the effort first.

When it comes to cold approach, i trained it for about 6 months this year, and the same last year. At an average of 10 hours spent a week that’s 500 hours of field time clocked up (an I’d guess only 200 – 300 approaches in this time, which is the main problem). That’s a lot of time. Then there’s the emotional investment. Placing all my hope of a truly fulfilling sex life on game. Taking all of the rejections (of which there must have been almost 300). This would be OK, if the results were epic too. Lets look at the results and see…

In short the results haven’t been epic. Two lays, one with a 5 and one with a 6, about 7 day 2s and about half a dozen kcloses. From 500 hours. Fuck that shit.

In terms of results, there seems little point in carrying on. I think if I were to do the maths, I actually have a hit rate in terms of fcloses and kcloses very similar to what I had when I was 17/18 and going out on the pull, not knowing any game.

“But you’ll get better!” I hear you cry. That’s just it. I’m not improving. I’ve never once, in 12 months and 500 hours been happy with the number / quality of approaches I’ve done in a session. Last week I did just 8 approaches, with very little of it hooking well. I’d estimate that I spent maybe 20 minutes total in sets I opened last week. No closes, obviously. That’s noob level pickup at best. That’s game for Omega males. In all this time I have been unable to push myself to the point where I’m consistently opening a good number of sets per night.

Then there’s what happens in set. I’m letting far too many sets die when I let the conversation dwindle which leads to the girl walking off. This used to be because I had nothing to say. Now I can think of things, but my inner introvert kicks in, and I just can’t be bothered to make conversation. I don’t see this changing any time soon.

Poor results + lack of progress = waste of time and effort

Will speak to my mentor again soon if I can, and get his take on this. The truth is I’m not going to carry on with something so unproductive and draining.

———————————————
Stats since 1st August:
8 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

What if…

Posted: August 6, 2011 in Uncategorized

One of your aims, in both game and in life in general, should be to never need to ask yourself this question.

———————————————
Stats since 1st August:
8 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

My day game ticking clock

Posted: August 1, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

I have a problem that’s effecting my day game. I’ll run after a girl. Stop her. Open her. Hook her. It’s then that it happens. The clock starts ticking.

In bar game, I feel no rush. It’s like I’ve got all the time in the world to chat to the girl. In the street, it’s different. Since the girl was going somewhere when I stopped her, I feel like there’s a strict time constraint on the set. 3 – 5 minutes at the most (talk about arbitrary).

If I’m to get good comfort with the girl, and get her to open up and invest with me, I need a little more time. Closer to 10 minutes. In addition to this, I think the ticking clock comes across in my vibe. It makes me feel uneasy, which in turn will make the girl feel uncomfortable.

Not sure how to get around this one. I think doing more sets will help. I’m still not completely comfortable in my own skin doing day game yet. I also think better conversation skills will help, as I’ll be able to chill out and relax into the conversation better.

———————————————
Stats since 1st August:
0 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

Time to review how things went for me this month, and set some goals / strategy for next month. Lets start by taking a look at my goals for July. My only formal goal was to open 100 sets. I failed. I only opened 60. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, I didn’t push myself as hard as I should to open more sets. The second reason is running into financial difficulty (ahem) means that I only went out for the first 17 days or so of the month.

Once upon a time I would have been really annoyed with myself for not reaching my goal. My mentor has taught me to look at the positives of each situation, instead of just focusing on the negatives. So here are the positives and negatives of last month’s gaming:

Negatives

  • Only opened 60% of the sets I wanted to
  • Still finding it hard to hook well in day game
  • I was irresponsible and over spent
  • Still not approaching 3 sets in night game
  • Having problems with sets fizzling out in night game / not moving into comfort properly
Positives
  • I got laid
  • Double the number closes I ever got in a month
  • 3 kiss closes in a month
  • Opened more sets than ever before in a month
  • Got better at opening on the dance floor
  • Starting to get used to opening and hooking in a loud club
  • More comfortable getting physical with a girl quickly
  • A slight increase in overall confidence
  • I think I now know what my two main sticking points are (more on these another time)
All in all I’d say that since the positives outweigh the negatives, so this has been a good month for me.
Looking forward I really want to get to the point where I’m doing a high volume of approaches each and every month. This is both because pickup is a numbers game, and also because I’ll get better faster by opening more sets. To this end I want to set the goal of opening 100 sets again for August. I don’t usually like setting the same goal two months running when I failed to achieve it the first month. I think doing so devalues the goal, as in your mind, you just sort of say to yourself, “I didn’t make it last month, so it doesn’t matter too much if I don’t make it this month either”. Despite this risk I think this is a solid, achievable goal. I could just set the goal for 70 set this month, and I’d almost certainly hit that goal. I’d rather aim for a 100 and hit 80 though.
The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.
My full PUA goals for August, 2011 will be:
  1. Open 100 sets
  2. Open it least 10 sets with 3+ girls in them
  3. Open at least 10 sets in one night game session
  4. Open at least 10 sets in one day game session
100 sets a month is all I need to open. There are people out there that will tell me I could open twice that if I was really motivated. They’re probably right, but it wouldn’t achieve much. I really feel that this coming month is the month my AA finally becomes manageable, and I will have basic confidence in approaching girls. From there I can start really experimenting with what I do and working on the technical details which will up my success rate.
———————————————
Stats since 1st August:
0 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes