Game is not the same as self improvement

Posted: November 2, 2011 in Uncategorized

The self improvement industry has been around since the 60s. It started out in the form of books, tapes and newsletters, and in modern times has moved online in a big way. There are many blogs out there (www.stevepavlina.com for example) which will help an individual to improve his life in numerous areas: health & fitness, wealth generation, personal productivity, emotional stability etc.

Since game allows men to improve their ability at attracting women, focusing on getting laid and having sexual relationships. It is a subset of  self improvement. I would never dispute this. What I would dispute is that game is self improvement.  Let me explain the difference.

Reading what users have written on many seduction websites it seems obvious to me the many people in the seduction community view game as a general purpose self improvement tool, rather than a specific type of self improvement tool which helps them get laid. A prime example of this is posters on Seddit. Often on that site I will post a response along the lines of, “Look, if you’re trying to get laid you’re going about this the wrong way”. The response to this sort of thing often goes like, “My motivations are my own! I don’t just want to get laid!”. My rebuttal to this is obviously to ask them why they are posting on a game website. Their retort is always the same, “Game isn’t about getting laid; it’s about becoming a better man!”.

Game is about getting laid, you fuck wit.

Yes, yes. I know. You need to be the best possible man if you want to maintain relationships with a high value woman. I do agree this is true. Although you can fuck hot girls in clubs if you have the right moves and some basic inner game, being a great, self actualized man is best in the long run, especially when it comes to keeping great quality women in your life. I’m not saying don’t try and walk the hard path towards self actualization. I’m just saying realize that this is separate (but complimentary to) learning game.

What’s so wrong with game and general self improvement being thought of as the same thing? I think it leads to the following problems:

  1. Doing so dilutes the wannabe player’s learning. Imagine someone’s goal is to increase their bench press from 2 to 3 wheels. Instead of focusing on regularly training the bench press and assistance exercises, they take delight in increasing the speed at which they can run a mile on the treadmill. When you point out to them that although running a mile quicker is great they need to be focusing on heavy benching to reach their goals, they get indignant and tell you, “Don’t you think a fit, healthy body is important for a big bench?”. Well yes, but hitting the treadmill hard won’t get you that bench press. An example of this is on sites like Seddit is people putting improving advanced social skills which will do little / nothing to get them laid (talking to everyone, controlling groups) over improving basic seduction skills which will get them laid quickly (like physical escalation).
  2. It allows guys to not have to admit that their goal is getting laid. In modern feminized society doing something purely to get laid is often thought of as bad. Sex is not a noble enough end goal to work towards, and a man who shamelessly persues sex will often have feminist shaming language thrown at him (pervert, creep, etc). I think an important part of a guys inner game is realizing that its ok for them to shamelessly persue sex, and to court a woman purely with the intent of fucking her. Hiding behind the whole “Game isn’t about getting laid, it’s about being a better man!” facade allows guys to learn game but remain sexually emasculated, which will mean they never reach their full potential as a player.
  3. It pedestals getting laid. Self improvement is about working towards self actualization. When game and self improvement become too intertwined guys start to think that they need to be self actualized in order to get laid. This puts a mental block on guys which stops them getting laid, by making them think it’s much harder than it actually is. It blinds them to how simple getting a girl into bed can sometimes be. I’ve been in situations in the past where to get laid pretty much all I had to do was take the girls hand and leave the club with her. At the time I didn’t do this because I assumed I had to do something so very special to get laid as it couldn’t be that simple to reach such a grandiose goal. Often, it really is that simple. It’s just sex, after all.

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Comments
  1. Dan says:

    Randomly stumbled accross your blog and liking it!

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