Approaching should be a knee jerk reaction

Posted: January 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

Roissy (now called Heartiste) once said, that when it comes to seduction, specifically approaching them, “He who hesitates masturbates”. This is never more true than when you get a solid approach invitation from a girl.

Your walking through the club, scanning for a girl that might catch your eye. You see one, and make eye contact. She holds it for at least a few seconds and you both smile at each other. This is the best approach invitation you can ever get. Approaching girls in this situation seems to have a very high success rate. Thing is, as soon as the girl locks eyes on you, that’s your window of opportunity. It’s very brief. There’s only a few seconds when there’s that spark between the two of you, and then it’s gone.

Of course, you can approach after the moment has gone, but it doesn’t have the same impact. Either the girl can feel rejected because you didn’t initially approach and go cold, or she can lose attraction because you seem to lack confidence.

A few nights ago I had approach invitations like this. It was early in the night so I wasn’t warmed up. A girl was smiling at me on the dance floor and it was obvious she was interested. Thing is, she wasn’t particularly hot. So much so in fact I was debating in my mind as to whether or not she met my minimum standard. I didn’t approach her. Later in the night I saw her kissing and leaving with another man. I realised then that although she wasn’t that hot, I’d rather have been in the position of deciding whether or not I wanted to go home with her, than having the decision taken out of my hands. I’ve decided that it’s best to approach borderline women who give you strong approach invitations instantly. You can decided after that whether or not you actually want to go home with them.

Fifteen minutes later the exact same thing happened with another girl who was slightly more attractive. It seems I usually get most approach invitations early in the night, before I’m warmed up. The only way around that is to turn approaching into a knee jerk reaction. A bit like the 3 second rule. I have to get myself into the habit of just going for a woman who is giving me approach invitations / who I find attractive without even giving it concious thought. Like it’s a thoughtless, unconscious reaction to a stimuli reaction to a stimuli, rather than a concious decision. If I can get used to doing this, approach anxiety and the missed opportunities it creates will be a thing of the past. This is something you should consider doing too, if you find yourself talking yourself out of too many sets. At the end of the day doing this is just a habit you need to get used to. When it becomes a habit you will do it without thinking.

  1. Socialkenny says:

    Lmao @ he who hesitates masturbate.I like that.

    I get the point of the post though.

  2. Jim says:

    I wear glasses, but I wear contacts when going out. The problem is that my vision is only 90% in contacts. This post has made me wonder if I’m missing out by doing this. If a girl looked at me and smiled for a few seconds unless she was standing right in front of me there is no way that I would pick it up.

  3. Maxim says:

    hey, i like your blog so added a link to it on mine, I write about dating, confidence, and communication so if u dont mind could u add a link to mine?

  4. pdna says:

    I have a blog on picking up women also .. I’m part of a Pickup artist group the Toronto pickup artists.

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