How to get into state (and stay there)

Posted: February 23, 2012 in Uncategorized
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When PUAs talk about state or “being in state” what they are referring too is being an a positive emotional state, where you are lost in the moment instead of thinking about what will happen next. Words and actions just flow from you, without consciously thinking about what will happen next. I don’t know the science behind this, but I’m going to take a guess. When you’re in state your actions are primarily controlled by the creative, right side of the brain, without being constantly checked over by the logical, left side of the brain to make sure what you’re doing is good, proper and logical. When a PUA says he is “inside his head too much”, the reverse is true. The left side of the brain logically mulls things over, resulting in him seeming stifled and in-congruent.

Despite what a major PUA company may tell you, I don’t think that being in state is the be all and end all of getting laid. While it isn’t a magic cure all solution for a guy’s problems with women, being in state can help tremendously whilst sarging.  When in state you give off an aura of cool fun, and you aren’t constantly second guessing yourself. You’re body language and vocal tonality reflect this, leading to more positive responses from women you approach. Approach anxiety is also greatly reduced, since anxiety is caused by a fear of future events, and when in state you’re more in the present, and therefore thinking ahead a lot less.

So state is a good thing to be in when out picking up women. How do we go about getting into (and staying in) state? Most PUAs get guys to do stupid things, thinking this will unstiffle them and get them into state. This may work, but you also end up looking like the guys in the video below.

If you don’t want to look like a complete fucking numpty by doing the river dance outside the club, I may have the solution for you. I get into state by acting upon my desires.

In the past I may see a girl I wanted to open in the club. Say it was early in the night, and the situation didn’t seem right to me, I wouldn’t open her. I would decide that for various reasons it probably wouldn’t go anywhere at that stage even if she liked me (situation would make it hard to escalate), and so I wouldn’t bother opening. So I had the desire to open her, and didn’t. I have now learned that if I open in situations like this, even if it does as I predicted fizzle out quite quickly, a feel a lot better. It helps to get me into state.

There are also situations too, where doing the ‘wrong’ thing can help you get into state because you are acting on your desires. For example I see a girl wiggling her ass on the dance floor. I know that going and grinding on her from behind is the wrong move (it’s very low percentage), but these days I do it any way, because that is my desire so I act on it.

With this way of thinking, it doesn’t matter if you don’t see a girl you like for quite a time in the club. There’s no need to open when you haven’t seen a girl who doesn’t evoke in you the honest desire to go and meet her. When you will lose state is when you see a girl you want to open and don’t. This happened to me the other night. I got in quite a good state early, but then bottled approaching a couple of girls in a row, because they were both pouty 9s who I envisioned shooting be down painfully. I realised I was starting to loose state and feel like a loser because of this. So, the next time  I saw a girl who I wanted to open I went in straight away. It was a rejection (there were a lot of ‘lesbians’ at the club that night, apparently…), but it put be back into state.

It’s not just with approaching either. Once you’ve opened, if you get the urge to escalate / number close / do an in venue bounce and don’t, you will again lose state. You didn’t act on your desires.

Opening girls who you aren’t drawn to will help your state slightly, but not as much as opening the ones you really like. This is why this concept is slightly different to the idea of warm up sets.

Why does acting on your desires have this effect? I think it’s a self image thing. Acting on your desires makes you feel strong and in control of your own destiny. Failing to do so makes you feel week, and you get the sensation of not being good enough, of being a failure.

Give it a try. Next time you’re out in the club, listen to your inner masculine voice. The one that’s your DNA speaking out to you in order to fulfil it’s purpose of replication. The one that comes as a result of being the latest in a line of men who have successfully reproduced which stretches back over 100,000 years.

  1. Jim says:

    If you are worried about getting a harsh put down from the 9s, then why approach them?

    I could be wrong, but I reckon 99.9% of girls fall into one of two categories – girls that you can get, and girls that you can’t yet get (unless you work on becoming more attractive).

    Personally I have never met anyone that approached a whole load of 9s (or whatever girls are way out of their league) who then lucked out one day and got on one of them.

    I think it is better to shag a 6 or a 7 once in a while than approach 9s and get harshly put down. Nobody likes getting put down, and if approaching 9s makes going out unpleasant… then you’ll probably give up on going out at some point.

    You could probably say something similar about approaching ‘difficult’ sets e.g. 5 guys and 1 girl sets.

    From reading the LSS I know that some of the seduction coaches advise approaching anything that you are attracted to. But at least in my experience, emotional energy is a finite resource that has to be allocated wisely.

    • betatopua says:

      I still want to approach them because in reality I probably won’t get harsh put downs. It is a limiting belief that I’d like to disprove by approaching these girls. I’m not sure if they are truly out of my league. In the past I have thought this about high 7s and 8s, and since have pulled girls this hot. I want to find the upper limit of my current level of attractiveness.

      I agree that the whole concept of no girl being out of a guy’s league is somewhat flawed. There are many guys out there who just aren’t going to pull 8s/9s/10s until they themselves become much more attractive. There’s nothing wrong with occasionally hitting on these girls, but at the same time it should be limited because of, as you put it, the emotional cost of approaching. You can’t get rejected by 100’s of girls and not have it negatively effect you.

      The real problem comes when guys decided to exclusively approach 8/9+ girls, despite him not having any previous success with girls that hot. You then end up like urbanist from the LSS, making over 1,000 approaches in a year, priding yourself in only approaching the very hottest girls, but only getting laid once a year.

      Guys who only do daygame are especially bad at this. It’s easier to approach average girls in clubs when they look sexual because of the way they’re dressed, but in daygame it’s easy to find yourself only approaching the very hot girls, and getting no success as a result.

      Due to a change in my circumstances I should soon be doing loads more daygame (have given up on it atm), and I’m going to be sure to approach a decent number of 6/7s which I know for a fact I have a decent chance of banging.

  2. Socialkenny says:

    So ironic that you wrote this post.I wrote an article the other day about women being illogical beings.I highlighted the left-right brain concept as you pointed out when it comes to being “in state”.

  3. Rockets says:

    This is post totally just clicked with me – it’s not “not approaching” that stales me out – it’s “not approaching girls that I’m genuinely interested in”. I find the best (in pua AND fun terms) nights are those in which I acted on my impulses and let me be myself. It’s not about getting in state, it’s about staying in state and not letting meaningless little fears and hesitations get in the way of really expressing yourself.

    Nice one, dude.

  4. […] Make sure I act inline with my desires. I’ve written before about how not acting on your desires will make you feel like pussy, and so kill your […]

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