Archive for March, 2012

A lot of guys in the community won’t go after certain girls because they feel that they’re simply out of their league; too attractive for them. This is often countered by well meaning but ultimately hollow platitudes such as:

  • “There’s no such thing as out of you’re league”
  •  “She’s probably really insecure anyway”
  • “Yes she’s beautiful, but what else has she got going for her?”
  • “It’s all in your head”

These statements all probably have a certain amount of truth to them, but it doesn’t matter. If a guy think a girl is too attractive for him, this thought is going to taint every aspect of his interaction with this girl, no matter what feel good PUA platitudes have been whispered in his ear.

And this is my problem with HBBrightEyes. She’s a solid 8 objectively and also just my type subjectively. This means I think she’s too good for me, out of my league. This mindset very subtly influences my behavior with her. For example sometimes I won’t say certain jokes for fear of upsetting her, or I won’t be as blunt with her as I should be at times. The most noticeable thing is that I didn’t try and kiss close her till the second date. This is unusual for me.

I’m also more likely to think that HBBrightEyes, and girls like her are ‘good girls’ or ‘not like that’ when it comes to sex. With these hot girls I’m suffering from what 60 Years of Challenge calls, ‘The myth of female purity’. It needs to be my mindset that these hot girls love nothing better than a good doggie style stuffing. If you treat girls like goddesses they will start to think they are. And goddesses don’t get down on their knees and suck of mortals.

I have realized that, other than this “She’s out of my league” view which causes me to head fuck myself and second guess myself when dealing with the hotter girls, there’s nothing else really standing in my way from banging them. If I could have the same thoughts in my head when dealing with a 9 as when dealing with a 6 then I’d have fucked 9s. This mindset, my lower perceived value, is the final deal breaker.

So how to improve this area? How do I start feeling entitled to the hotter girls?

As mentioned before, I don’t think positive affirmations, like repeating too yourself that you are good enough, help. It’s no good saying the words. You must believe them. The only way I know to truly change beliefs is by gaining experiences which contradict your old beliefs. Then you spend some time thinking about these experiences to positively reinforce them in your mind.

I need to gain reference points that prove to me I can get hot women. What reference points would these be? In ascending order of how powerful the reference point would be in terms of changing my beliefs they are:

  • Getting an out of my league girl out on a date
  • Kiss closing and out of my league girl
  • Fucking an out of my league girl

Think about it. If by the end of this year, if I have been on dates with about a dozen really hot girls, kiss closed a handful and fucked a couple of them, next time I’m face to face with a hottie it’s going to be hard for my mind to think she’s too good for me. My brain will search for experiences with girls as hot as her, and the positive reference points of dating / kissing / fucking girls like her will be found. My brain will then assume she’s within my league.

So how am I going to do this?

From now on the only girls I’m messaging on online dating will be girls so physically attractive that my gut reaction when seeing their picture is that they’re out of my league. At the moment I’ve been messaging mainly 7s with the odd 6 and 8, but from now on it’ll just be girls that are HB8+. The score I give them is less important than my gut reaction to them.

I’m aware that my response rate will probably plummet. At the moment I think 1 in 3 girls are responding. At a guess my new response rate will be about 1 in 10, probably 30 messages to get a date. I’m going to message 2 new girls a day so I’m hoping for 2 dates a month. From there it’s just a matter of pushing each date to the limit.

Of course the positive reference points aren’t my only means of attack. I will continue to work on my value; better looks, better body, improving my career and my lifestyle, but these things are beyond the scope of this post.

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Stats since 1st March:
10 number closes
6 kiss closes
0 f closes

 

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Picture this.

Dave has chronic stomach pains for 3 weeks, so he goes to see a doctor. After a series of tests the doctor sits him down and solemnly tells Dave that he has bowel cancer.

The good news is, they’ve caught it early enough, and bowel cancer in it’s early stages has a 90% survival rate, if properly treated.

The doctor goes on to explain the treatment program. First there will be a serious operation to remove the tumor. Dave will have to have a colostomy bag for a while as a result. Then comes a course of chemo to make sure the cancer doesn’t spread to his blood. All in all, Dave will be very ill for a year. He’ll lose a lot of weight, feel tired all the time and be in some pain. After the year’s over he should have made a full recovery.

Dave doesn’t like the sound of that one bit. So much so, that he ignores the doctor’s treatment program, telling him, “Nah, just give me pain killers. That’ll stop my stomach hurting”. While this is true, Dave will then go on to die of cancer.

Who doesn’t think Dave is a fuck wit? No one would actually do that, right? Well, maybe not when it comes to cancer treatment. When it comes to improving at seduction though, the community has many Dave’s. It’s not just the seduction community. Treating the symptoms and not the disease is rife across all forms of self improvement.

Let’s take a look at some examples from the seduction community to illustrate my point.

One big problem many guys have is showing a woman their romantic / sexual intent. The core problem, or ‘disease’ here is actually a couple of things. The main one is a fear of rejection. When you let a girl know you like her, rather than just being friendly with her you’re putting your personality on the line and facing rejection. So fear of rejection is the big thing here. There is also the second issue here of men’s sexual desire being increasingly demonized in the western world (you can thank feminists for this). Some guys (mainly American’s I’ve found) view showing any form of romantic / sexual intent towards a girl as ‘creepy’ (American’s on PUA forums seem to use this word way too often).

So it’s the possibility of rejection / being creepy that needs to be addressed. Despite this people get side tracked by looking to treat the symptoms. The symptoms are:

  1. Looking for ‘non creepy’ ways to approach
  2. Trying to find a way to get a girl from their friendship circle out on a date without her realizing it’s a date
  3. Getting friendzoned all the time and looking for a technique to break out from the friendzone
  4. Getting into lots of really long cold approach sets, and have them fizzle out with no obvious rejection but no close (I’m not including number closes here)
  5. Spending loads of time trying to decipher a girl’s words / text messages / actions to work out if she likes him

Another problem is not being happy with the way you live your life, and you’re not willing to put up boundaries to how people treat you in order to maintain your happy life and vet who’s allowed in to your life. You see the symptoms of this when people ask for specific responses to specific shit tests. They’re trying to build themselves a suit of armor made out of witty comebacks to protect themselves from challenges girls make to them. If you’re reasonably happy with how you live your life, and won’t tolerate people treating you badly then you won’t fail shit tests. Examples include guys asking how to handle being asked why they’re at a bar on their own, being told by girl’s that they’re players, asking how to respond when asked what they do for a living if they’re a computer programmer, etc.

The last ‘disease’ is simply not being attractive to women. The symptoms of this are rife throughout the community:

  • Looking for ways to improve their conversation skills. Many guys asking about conversation skills on forums actually have conversation skills which are good enough for pickup. It’s just that girls won’t talk to them for long in the club. This is usually because girls aren’t attracted to them, rather than the guy not having the conversational skills to “get her to stay”.
  • Buying accessories like big belts, rings, necklaces. All of these things are fine as an extension of your personality, but if a guy isn’t attractive to women then wearing a cool pendant isn’t going to help.
  • Trying to learn good text / phone game to stop girls flaking all the time. If your last 10 numbers flaked, then that’s not down to not sending the right text (unless you’re texting them something really retarded, even then some girls out of 10 should be responsive).

I think I need to now sit down and look for areas where I’m just treating the symptoms, diagnose the disease and start a treatment plan. I would urge you to do the same. Look at your sticking points but go deeper than what’s just going wrong on the surface. Keep burrowing deeper until you have found the route cause. You’ll know when you find it because it will be a deep issue usually concerning either fear, poor self image or poor lifestyle choices.

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Stats since 1st March:
10 number closes
6 kiss closes
1 f closes

Just a quick rundown of all the girls who have been on my radar lately, and the state of play with each of them, for those who are curious how things are going for me.

HBInterview From online dating. Had a brief date with her, in which I didn’t really have time to form too much of an opinion on her. Would have liked to see her again and talk to her more, just to work out whether I liked her or not, but she didn’t want to. I felt a bit like she was interviewing me during the date, and from the questions she asked and her age I’m guessing that she was shopping for a husband. If this is true she probably figured out I wasn’t down for that level of commitment. Status: inactive.

HBMilf Cold approach. Old face but cracking firm body. Kiss closed her in a club, spent most the night with her. She wouldn’t leave with me but we swapped numbers. I never texted her and I flaked on her when she texted me first. This is because I decided I didn’t want anything more than a one night stand with her. Status: inactive.

HBSpringbok Cold approach. She opened me in a club. I took her to a table and we chatted for 30 mins. I kiss closed her, took her number and she left. I called her a couple of days later and set up a date for a weeknight. We both got on really well, but I sensed she was holding back when it came to the physical stuff. She told me I wasn’t her usual type physically. I persisted with the escalation and we both got fairly drunk. We got as far as you can get in a bar physically without getting kicked out. She was hinting at going home with me but her ASD was holding her back. I had a commitment early the next day so I didn’t push for the bounce back to my flat. A few days later when I followed up via text she said she didn’t want to see me again. I was surprised since we got on well, and a little disappointed, but it happens. Status: inactive.

HBRarebit Online. Been on a couple of dates, with a reasonable amount of escalation. She wants to see me again, but I’ve decided not to. I’m upping my standards in women at the moment and she’s just not physically attractive enough. Status: inactive.

HBNorthern Online. Been on one date. We got on really well and both got drunk so I escalated really fast, again pushing what you can get away with in a bar without getting kicked out. She wouldn’t extract to my flat due to having work the next day. While still on the date we arraigned a second date at my flat for a night this week. I would rather have invited her to a nearby bar then bounced to my flat, but didn’t due to financial concerns. My only problem with us arraigning to come straight round is the high chance of her ASD kicking in an prompting her to flake, she had had 5 drinks when we set up the second date. Fingers crossed, will text her tonight to confirm. Status: active.

HBBrightEyes Online. A very solid 8, and because she’s just my type for me she isn’t far off a 9. She seems to have fairly high self esteem, and is reasonably accomplished in life too. I’ll be honest, I really want this girl. The first date was quite subdued and I pussied out of going in for the kiss. On the second date I gave myself a pep talk half way through. I confirmed to myself that all the indicators of interest where there, and the only reason I hadn’t gone in for the kiss yet was that I was intimidated by her beauty. So I went in for the kiss, and got the cheek. I managed to remain clam, but it hurt for a few seconds.

I bounced her to a club thinking in my mind this will probably be the last time we see each other, as I decided there and then I don’t want to continue seeing a girl who won’t even kiss me on the second date. I think you can still get lays if you keep seeing girls in situations like this, but I’m really not willing to play such a long game for just one girl. That way lies madness and oneitis.

So as we get our drinks in the club, although I know there’s a small chance I may still get the kiss and so go for a third date, I’m doubting it. Then suddenly it starts:

  • “You’re trying to get me drunk”
  • “I know what you’re game is”
  • “You’re showing your true colours now, you’re a bad boy”
  • “You’re up yourself. You should give other people more of a chance” (When I tell her I just won’t spend time with people I’ve decided I don’t like)

Shit tests. A whole rapid fire barrage of them within 10 minutes. Interesting. If you have faith in yourself, how you live your life and you’re unashamed in what you want , these are very easy to pass:

  • “Yes, a little. People are more relaxed and honest when drunk, so it’s a great way to get to know someone”
  • “Really?”
  • “I’m so innocent, honestly” (In a fake voice)
  • “Why would I spend time around people I don’t like? Life’s too short for that”

I take her to the dance floor and all those club game sessions pay off. I’m trying to escalate. Pull, pull, pull whilst eye fucking and dancing. Not working. I move away from her. She goes to grab my hand to pull me back.  I pull free of her grip. This is the push to balance out the pull. The challenge that girls love. I’m not that easy sweetie, I don’t need you. I just want you. Her eyes light up. Within a minute of this a passionate dance floor makeout session lasting 20 minutes ensues. I don’t push it too far, as I don’t think she’s ready to be fucked tonight. I should have really done a bit less. We left soon after this, with me saying, “We’ll have to get together again” and her replying, “Probably…”. She text me afterwards saying she had fun.

I think she’s either undecided on me, or is trying to game me. I’m not sure which, and it doesn’t matter.

I’m trying to set up a third date but I’m broke and we’re both very busy so it’s tough, will have to see. The main danger here is fucking up due to the fact I like her so much.

All in all, I’m doing well in terms of getting initial interest from girls, but I’m really not closing. Not sure if it’s luck of the draw or if I’m not handling things quite right. The fact I’ve got more on my mind than closing girls at the moment doesn’t help much. Will have to wait and see.

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Stats since 1st March:
10 number closes
6 kiss closes
0 f closes

Throughout my time in the seduction community I have met and read about men who have struggled through the fear and rejection it takes to get good at game. They have torn their personalities apart over time, examining every detail of their psyche and rebuilding it into something better and more manly. Theyve also built their physiques and their lifestyles, and changed their fashion sense for the better. Last but not least theyve dramatically improved the way they interact with women.

Most guys dont see this through. Changing every aspect of your life and how you live it, not just the external stuff but your very personality as well isnt easy. Changing life long habits is hard. The hardest part is being willing to really take stock of your flaws and attack them head on. Myself, I havent given up but I haven’t worked as hard on it as I could have, but that still puts me ahead of many guys out there. What I’m saying is that not many guys stay on the journey of self improvement and game and make it to the end (technically there is no end because more improvement is possible, so we’ll count the end as a high level of competence).

By my reckoning, any man that sees this through has become a man who is far more than the majority of women deserve.

Most men will have heard very average women complain that its hard to find a real man these days. I would argue that its hard for them to find a real man who will be interested in them for anything much beyond a one night stand, simply because they arent good enough for such a man. Some questions I’d love to ask a woman who makes such a complaint would include:

  • Whats your BMI?
  • Can you cook / do other household tasks well
  • Have you taken time to work out how to please a man in bed (what books / resources do you use to get good at this)
  • How much effort do you put into dating when a potentially decent man shows interest in you? What do you do to encourage him?
  • Do you have a feminine personality, or are you sarcastic / feisty / sassy?
Many people will say that this is sexist. It is. But women are equally sexist. They will demand a real man (quite often in the traditional sense of the word man) but will be shocked if a man demands the polar opposite; a real woman.
An average women thinking that she is entitled to a well rounded and developed man because she has tits and a pussy is akin to the over weight, lacking a social life newbie PUA thinking that he can bang 9s and 10s because he’s learnt a few routines. It’s fantasy.
As the seduction community grows more and more men are looking inwardly and deciding they need to improve themselves in order to achieve dating success. Meanwhile women continue to blame their dating failure on men instead of looking at themselves. In the long run this is going to give the men who take this harder path a massive edge over most women in the dating market. After a 3-5 years of putting decent effort into game and self improvement, the problem a man is most likely to face is finding a woman good enough for him, rather than just finding a women who will like him.

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Stats since 1st March:
10 number closes
5 kiss closes
0 f closes

At some stage, probably in the quite distant future, I want to write some kind of comprehensive guide to online dating. Although I have had some success online, I don’t think I’m quite good enough at it yet to write a complete guide. I need to do a lot of tweaking to my profile (especially the pictures), I need to do much better at converting dates into lays, and I need to bang hotter women.

I’m not going to go into the pros and cons of online dating now, that is not the purpose of this post. All I’m going to do is share my knowledge of the one aspect of online game that I think I’ve got down: the opening message.

The opening message is the first message you send to a girl on a dating site. Your response rate is determined by the quality of this message combined with the quality of your profile (especially your pictures).

There are 4 common types of messages guys open with online, and you should avoid these types of messages.

Generic copy pasted messages I never send copy pasted messages. Each message is unique and personalized to the girl. apparently there are some “can’t fail” messages out there that you can just copy paste to a girl and get a good response from. This has never worked that well for me, but to be honest I haven’t experimented with many. All I will say is that girls are very aware that guys will use copy pasted messages, and if a girl thinks you’ve done this she’s likely to hold it against you. It stops you coming across as genuine, and it stops the girl feeling like an individual, and hence special. If there were some really amazing copy pasted messages out there on forums, they’d soon become overused by guys spamming all the hot girls with them.

Standard chode messages These are really short, fairly generic, really low effort openers. “Hi”, “You’re sexy”, “How’s it going?”, “Up to much this weekend?”. Girls literally post on their profiles that they’re sick of getting these types of messages. If a girl’s only getting a couple of messages a week, or you’re picture looks like a male model, then you may get a response. The truth is girls that are OK looking and fairly active on the site (meaning they’ll appear near the top of search results) can receive dozens, sometimes hundreds of messages a week. From what I can gather, probably half of the messages they get are standard chode messages. The problem here is that girl sees the lack of effort from the guy, and in addition to that there’s nothing that helps him stand out from all of the other guys messaging her. The result will be a (very) low reply rate.

Overly sexual messages Going sexual right in the opening message may work if you look like a male model, but it won’t work for most men. Girls get many messages like this, and it just comes across as pervy guys who only have the balls to say sexual stuff to a girl while hiding behind a monitor. Don’t bother.

Ridiculously long messages Some guys send opening messages that are well over 100 words long. This is wrong on a couple of levels. Firstly, at the opening stage a girl probably can’t be bothered to read a message this long. Secondly, it’s investing way too much way too soon. As well as being a waste of time, this also means you come across as desperate. Only a desperate man spends 10 minutes writing a message to a girl based on a quick read of her profile.

Around 90% of messages which girls receive are probably one of the four message types just listed.  Once you know not to send messages like this, this is great news as jumping into the top 10% of guys becomes trivial.

So, I’ve covered what not to do, now for what you should do.

In a nutshell, a good online dating opener is:

a short, direct, personalized, qualifying,  push-pull opener which is congruent with the personality you present in your profile.

Now I’ll go through all the points in this description, expanding on each one so you know what I mean.

Short An ideal opening message is no more than a four lines long. This means it’s quick for the girl to read (increasing the chance that she will read it), plus you’re not investing too much time in writing it which makes it efficient.

Direct I’ve heard of some guys trying to use indirect openers online. This is pointless. You’re messaging a girl on a dating site. She knows you have some form of romantic interest in her, as that’s the whole point in the fucking website. There’s no point in trying to pretend you aren’t interested. This isn’t a bar where not all the girls are in the market for a man. The girls are on the site to date, so they’re interested in guys who make it obvious that’s what they want too. There are some time wasters online. Both men and women who message a lot but are too shy to actually go out on a date with someone. Being direct encourages the girl to think you aren’t a time waster.

Personalized You should make reference to small details from the girl’s profile (the images and / or text). This lets the girl know you’ve actually looked at her profile in some detail, which many men don’t. It also shows you view her as an individual, and not just another girl out of hundreds you’ve spammed.

Push-Pull A push is when you say something which pushes the girl away from you, the pull is when you show interest and pull her towards you. Doing this allows you to compliment her and be direct while still appearing a challenge. All pull comes of as weak and soppy. All push makes you sound like an asshole. This is strongly linked to qualifying, as the qualifying often is the push part.

Congruency The personality you convey in the message must match the personality displayed in your profile. If you’re profile makes you come off as an arrogent asshole, then the opener should reflect this. On the other hand if you’re profile makes you seem like a romantic you’d do badly if you sent arrogant messages. I tried some messages a guy on a forum used to swear by. They made him seem like a bad boy, which is what his profile did too. They worked poorly for me because my profile didn’t make me come across as a bad boy. Different women online will be looking for different things. You’re personality which is reflected in your profile will attract the girls who are looking for the type of personality you present. When you present one personality in your profile and a different one via messages, you will struggle to attract anyone, because the girls who like your profile will be put off by your messages, and visa versa.

Qualifying Since you’re being direct and displaying interest up front, you should qualify the girl a little so she knows that you’re challenging for her, which most men aren’t. You’re overall frame should be: “I’ve got some initial interest in you, but I’m not convinced”. The qualifying should be quite subtle and use humour to take the edge off a bit. Really strong qualification like, “You’re attractive, but tell me, what else have you got going for you?” is just too obvious, and you’ll come across like a bit of a cunt. A decent girl’s not going to qualify too hard this early on, so if you try and make her she’s less likely to bother replying.

So far this has been quite theoretical. Although you may have learned something from this post, many of you will still be wondering, “So what the fuck do I actually write”. In part 2 of this post (coming soon) I’ll show you the exact process I use to construct an opening message. I’ll show screen grabs of girls’ profiles, and walk you through constructing a message for that girl, complete with the finished message. You’l then see all of this theory put into practice.

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Stats since 1st March:
9 number closes
4 kiss closes
0 f closes

Failing to close the deal

Posted: March 19, 2012 in Uncategorized

We’re about 10 weeks into 2012 now, and in some respects this has been the most successful 10 weeks of my pick up ‘career’. Despite not hitting it hard for the first 5 weeks due to having a girl friend at that time, I’ve still kiss closed almost the same number of girls as I did the whole of last year, come fairly close to 2 snls and been on 3 first dates.

Despite this I’m yet to lay a single new girl this year. I’ve got my hands on many asses, sucked on tits and have had a girls hands all over my cock, but I haven’t fucked any of them. I’ve come to realise that this is down to two things:

1. I’m running really sloppy game

2. My standards have gone up

The sloppy game is down to a couple of points. Lack of money and impatience. In clubs I always have my foot down firmly on the accelerator, pushing for SNLs by escalating hard. SNLs just won’t happen that often. Sometimes I need to take my foot of the gas, stop escalating and just sit down with a girl and get to know her.

The lack of money means I’m trying to limit how much I go out sarging and how many dates I go on. Obviously going out sarging less will lead to less results. In terms of dates, with my success in getting girls numbers via online dating this means I’m often moving quite slowly with these girls once I close them, in an attempt to maximise dates (e.g. trying to date the best looking women who are most DTF). When the girls are on a dating site this means that they’re going to be actively meeting other guys, so moving slowly can be a killer. Also some girls will perceive this as me lacking the confidence to meet them, which isn’t good. They can lose interest quickly.

I seem to have forgotten that while I did get some easy SNLs last year, other lays took time. I had to take the girls out, and wait until they were comfortable enough with me to go to bed with me. In contrast to this I just tried to set up a second date with a girl I meet from a dating site for the first time earlier in the week such that she comes straight round to my flat. This isn’t very solid. Meeting her in a bar near my flat then bouncing after two drinks is way more effective; there’s nothing like inviting a girl straight around to your flat for a second date to trigger her ASD. She’s yet to reply to my text, and she was really into me before I sent that. If I had just taken it a bit slower I’m sure I would have got the close.

Then we come to point two. Standards. It’s not a bad thing that my standards in women have gone up, but it does mean it’ll be harder to get lays. I still kiss close and number close women in clubs that aren’t that great, but if I can’t get them to have a SNL with me then I don’t bother dating them. I’ve flaked on 2 girls this year (we swapped numbers, they texted me which is a huge sign of interest, I didn’t text back) who would have been OK for an SNL but I just won’t take them out on dates. They aren’t hot enough. I think I’ll devote a whole post to this another time. A sense of entitlement to a certain quality of girl is one of the keys to getting them, so the fact I’m developing this is important.

I actually think money is the key to all this. There’s this idea in the community of the broke PUA who’s fucking 30+ girls a year, and I think this idea’s a myth. You don’t have to be rich to attract women, but if you’re going out all the time sarging and on dates the costs add up fast: cover charges, taxis, transport, food, alcohol, decent clothes. I’m not poor but I’m nothing like rich either, and London’s one of the most expensive cities in the world. I honestly believe a 50% pay rise is the main thing that stands between me and fucking 10+ attractive women in a year. More money = more dates and nights out sarging = more opportunities = me chilling out and slowing down with girls.

People will comment that I obviously need to work on my career. I am doing. I’ve just got a new job which I start next month that gives me a 14% pay rise, but much of this extra money will be spent on things that won’t help my dating life too much (starting new hobbies, holidays, savings, new computer), so it’ll probably be a few years yet before I hit my full potential with women, without money holding me back.

———————————————

Stats since 1st March:
9 number closes
4 kiss closes
0 f closes

Since I’ve got over the worst of my AA and have had some cold approach lays now, the allure of cold approach has dimmed slightly. Now I’m more interested in getting girls the easiest way possible, so I turned back to online dating.

This time around I’ve been pretty successful at getting responses and getting girls out on dates. I’ve send around 30 – 35 opening messages and got about a dozen replies. This is over the course of around 10 days. I’ve had 2 dates so far, one with a HB7 and one last night with an HB8. I have another today with an HB6, a day 2 from cold approach on Monday with an HB7 and maybe another date next week from online with an HB6/7. Due to this success I’ve filtered out a few girls who have been responsive online.

So far, so good. Now we get to the problem.

The HB8 I met last night was just my type physically. Long brown curly hair, piercing eyes and a tight little body. Things seemed to go well. I wasn’t nervous or second guessing myself, and the conversation flowed freely. There’s plenty of light touching between us. We get to the second venue and things get a little flirty, but like a twat I break the sexual tension instead of pushing forward.

She was hot enough that I got a boner just talking to her, but for some reason, despite not receiving any negative signals from her, I failed to escalate to a kiss close. I’m not sure why. If I had met her in a club I’d find it so easy. I escalate quite fast in clubs these days.

I don’t think it was because she was hot. She came across as a little reserved, so I think I fell into the ‘Myth of female purity’ trap that 60 Years of Challenge talks about. This is where you have a really pretty and innocent looking girl, but you don’t escalate because, “She’s just not that type of girl”. In reality the girl probably enjoys a good stuffing by the right man. Nearly all girls do, and I’m not willing to date the few that aren’t.

In the future I’m going to have to push it with the escalation. I’m just going to look into the hotties pretty eyes and imagine her sucking me off and then go for it. I’ll keep pushing and I won’t put by foot on the breaks until she shows me the red light. This is basically a no fail strategy. The only girls that are going to bail on me for escalating but at the same time listening to her feedback if I’m moving too fast are girls who were never going to go for me anyway. I literally have nothing to lose by going for it. I need to really get this into my head, as this is important.

If I don’t get a second date with her I’ll now always be wondering if it’s because I didn’t have the balls to make a move. I don’t like regrets like this. The other day in the club on the dance floor I saw an HB8 with an amazing ass, and by god she knew how to move it. I wasn’t going to approach, because I didn’t think I stood a chance. Most guys there seemed to bottle it when it came to approaching her. It was the way she moved and oozed sexuality. It was intimidating most guys. But in the end I did approach her. I decided I really couldn’t live with not knowing what might happen. I got a polite rejection. It was still better than not knowing.

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Stats since 1st March:
8 number closes
3 kiss closes
0 f closes