Failing to close the deal

Posted: March 19, 2012 in Uncategorized

We’re about 10 weeks into 2012 now, and in some respects this has been the most successful 10 weeks of my pick up ‘career’. Despite not hitting it hard for the first 5 weeks due to having a girl friend at that time, I’ve still kiss closed almost the same number of girls as I did the whole of last year, come fairly close to 2 snls and been on 3 first dates.

Despite this I’m yet to lay a single new girl this year. I’ve got my hands on many asses, sucked on tits and have had a girls hands all over my cock, but I haven’t fucked any of them. I’ve come to realise that this is down to two things:

1. I’m running really sloppy game

2. My standards have gone up

The sloppy game is down to a couple of points. Lack of money and impatience. In clubs I always have my foot down firmly on the accelerator, pushing for SNLs by escalating hard. SNLs just won’t happen that often. Sometimes I need to take my foot of the gas, stop escalating and just sit down with a girl and get to know her.

The lack of money means I’m trying to limit how much I go out sarging and how many dates I go on. Obviously going out sarging less will lead to less results. In terms of dates, with my success in getting girls numbers via online dating this means I’m often moving quite slowly with these girls once I close them, in an attempt to maximise dates (e.g. trying to date the best looking women who are most DTF). When the girls are on a dating site this means that they’re going to be actively meeting other guys, so moving slowly can be a killer. Also some girls will perceive this as me lacking the confidence to meet them, which isn’t good. They can lose interest quickly.

I seem to have forgotten that while I did get some easy SNLs last year, other lays took time. I had to take the girls out, and wait until they were comfortable enough with me to go to bed with me. In contrast to this I just tried to set up a second date with a girl I meet from a dating site for the first time earlier in the week such that she comes straight round to my flat. This isn’t very solid. Meeting her in a bar near my flat then bouncing after two drinks is way more effective; there’s nothing like inviting a girl straight around to your flat for a second date to trigger her ASD. She’s yet to reply to my text, and she was really into me before I sent that. If I had just taken it a bit slower I’m sure I would have got the close.

Then we come to point two. Standards. It’s not a bad thing that my standards in women have gone up, but it does mean it’ll be harder to get lays. I still kiss close and number close women in clubs that aren’t that great, but if I can’t get them to have a SNL with me then I don’t bother dating them. I’ve flaked on 2 girls this year (we swapped numbers, they texted me which is a huge sign of interest, I didn’t text back) who would have been OK for an SNL but I just won’t take them out on dates. They aren’t hot enough. I think I’ll devote a whole post to this another time. A sense of entitlement to a certain quality of girl is one of the keys to getting them, so the fact I’m developing this is important.

I actually think money is the key to all this. There’s this idea in the community of the broke PUA who’s fucking 30+ girls a year, and I think this idea’s a myth. You don’t have to be rich to attract women, but if you’re going out all the time sarging and on dates the costs add up fast: cover charges, taxis, transport, food, alcohol, decent clothes. I’m not poor but I’m nothing like rich either, and London’s one of the most expensive cities in the world. I honestly believe a 50% pay rise is the main thing that stands between me and fucking 10+ attractive women in a year. More money = more dates and nights out sarging = more opportunities = me chilling out and slowing down with girls.

People will comment that I obviously need to work on my career. I am doing. I’ve just got a new job which I start next month that gives me a 14% pay rise, but much of this extra money will be spent on things that won’t help my dating life too much (starting new hobbies, holidays, savings, new computer), so it’ll probably be a few years yet before I hit my full potential with women, without money holding me back.

———————————————

Stats since 1st March:
9 number closes
4 kiss closes
0 f closes

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Comments
  1. M says:

    I dirt poor living with mom, so I know how expensive it is to go out. BUT….
    I would look at the hobbies etc u are picking up as things that HELP your Game. They all serve to make you more well-rounded and interesting. Also, for dates, why not do things that don’t cost money? Take a girl to a park, go for a walk, bonfire……its a pleasant change of pace. Bring a bottle of wine if your worried about booze.

  2. Jim says:

    Yeah asking a girl to come straight around to your flat is putting a lot of pressure on her.

    As guys we know if we want to fuck a girl usually from the first moment we set eyes on her. A lot of girls do need to feel that they know who you are.

    This is why things like repeat viewings are so useful. Even though the girls haven’t been on a date with you, because you met them out once before and impressed them, when you meet them out again they feel like they are part of your social group for some reason (even though you may have only chatted to them for 5 mins). Of course you need to have fairly decent levels of attractiveness and opportunities to run into girls again when out to work this type of game.

    There was a post on the LSS by a guy called Baby Girl (he’s since left) about using your phone to cut down the amount of time spent dating girls.

  3. Jim says:

    On the money aspect… how is your sideline on internet marketing going?

    • betatopua says:

      If you recall my plan, step 1 was to get a new job. I’ve done this and start next month. I’ll have a lot to learn there, so it’ll be May at the earliest that I start with the online marketing.

  4. MikeG says:

    “I actually think money is the key to all this. There’s this idea in the community of the broke PUA who’s fucking 30+ girls a year, and I think this idea’s a myth. You don’t have to be rich to attract women, but if you’re going out all the time sarging and on dates the costs add up fast: cover charges, taxis, transport, food, alcohol, decent clothes”

    Well it depends on your situation, location. Sagging clubs in a big city… Yes I could imagine it’s expensive. For online dating it’s been pretty cheap for me because I live a few mins walk from 8 bars. I literally have never had to drive to meet a girl out. Usually 3 drinks max and I get them back to my place. Though doing this twice a week can run you a min of $120 a month.

    “In contrast to this I just tried to set up a second date with a girl I meet from a dating site for the first time earlier in the week such that she comes straight round to my flat. This isn’t very solid. Meeting her in a bar near my flat then bouncing after two drinks is way more effective; there’s nothing like inviting a girl straight around to your flat for a second date to trigger her ASD. ”

    This is why your apartment location is one of the most important things you can do for pulling numbers. A guy living in a small studio in the center of town next to all the bars will pull way more girls than the same guy who owns a 4 bedroom home outside of town. I can almost always get girls back because my apartment is a block away… So if your meeting her at a bar, just bar hop to the next bar after a drink…. Then invite her back to your place for a drink likes it’s no big deal…

    • betatopua says:

      Yes, I realise that if I lived walking distance from the good bars my lay count would at least double. I missed out on a lay Monday night that I think I would have got if my flat was walking distance from the bars. In London this would be out of my price range though. It would cost me $2700 USD for rent and bills on a small studio in a good central location. Maybe in 5 years time…

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