Rundown of the sets I’ve been chasing lately

Posted: March 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

Just a quick rundown of all the girls who have been on my radar lately, and the state of play with each of them, for those who are curious how things are going for me.

HBInterview From online dating. Had a brief date with her, in which I didn’t really have time to form too much of an opinion on her. Would have liked to see her again and talk to her more, just to work out whether I liked her or not, but she didn’t want to. I felt a bit like she was interviewing me during the date, and from the questions she asked and her age I’m guessing that she was shopping for a husband. If this is true she probably figured out I wasn’t down for that level of commitment. Status: inactive.

HBMilf Cold approach. Old face but cracking firm body. Kiss closed her in a club, spent most the night with her. She wouldn’t leave with me but we swapped numbers. I never texted her and I flaked on her when she texted me first. This is because I decided I didn’t want anything more than a one night stand with her. Status: inactive.

HBSpringbok Cold approach. She opened me in a club. I took her to a table and we chatted for 30 mins. I kiss closed her, took her number and she left. I called her a couple of days later and set up a date for a weeknight. We both got on really well, but I sensed she was holding back when it came to the physical stuff. She told me I wasn’t her usual type physically. I persisted with the escalation and we both got fairly drunk. We got as far as you can get in a bar physically without getting kicked out. She was hinting at going home with me but her ASD was holding her back. I had a commitment early the next day so I didn’t push for the bounce back to my flat. A few days later when I followed up via text she said she didn’t want to see me again. I was surprised since we got on well, and a little disappointed, but it happens. Status: inactive.

HBRarebit Online. Been on a couple of dates, with a reasonable amount of escalation. She wants to see me again, but I’ve decided not to. I’m upping my standards in women at the moment and she’s just not physically attractive enough. Status: inactive.

HBNorthern Online. Been on one date. We got on really well and both got drunk so I escalated really fast, again pushing what you can get away with in a bar without getting kicked out. She wouldn’t extract to my flat due to having work the next day. While still on the date we arraigned a second date at my flat for a night this week. I would rather have invited her to a nearby bar then bounced to my flat, but didn’t due to financial concerns. My only problem with us arraigning to come straight round is the high chance of her ASD kicking in an prompting her to flake, she had had 5 drinks when we set up the second date. Fingers crossed, will text her tonight to confirm. Status: active.

HBBrightEyes Online. A very solid 8, and because she’s just my type for me she isn’t far off a 9. She seems to have fairly high self esteem, and is reasonably accomplished in life too. I’ll be honest, I really want this girl. The first date was quite subdued and I pussied out of going in for the kiss. On the second date I gave myself a pep talk half way through. I confirmed to myself that all the indicators of interest where there, and the only reason I hadn’t gone in for the kiss yet was that I was intimidated by her beauty. So I went in for the kiss, and got the cheek. I managed to remain clam, but it hurt for a few seconds.

I bounced her to a club thinking in my mind this will probably be the last time we see each other, as I decided there and then I don’t want to continue seeing a girl who won’t even kiss me on the second date. I think you can still get lays if you keep seeing girls in situations like this, but I’m really not willing to play such a long game for just one girl. That way lies madness and oneitis.

So as we get our drinks in the club, although I know there’s a small chance I may still get the kiss and so go for a third date, I’m doubting it. Then suddenly it starts:

  • “You’re trying to get me drunk”
  • “I know what you’re game is”
  • “You’re showing your true colours now, you’re a bad boy”
  • “You’re up yourself. You should give other people more of a chance” (When I tell her I just won’t spend time with people I’ve decided I don’t like)

Shit tests. A whole rapid fire barrage of them within 10 minutes. Interesting. If you have faith in yourself, how you live your life and you’re unashamed in what you want , these are very easy to pass:

  • “Yes, a little. People are more relaxed and honest when drunk, so it’s a great way to get to know someone”
  • “Really?”
  • “I’m so innocent, honestly” (In a fake voice)
  • “Why would I spend time around people I don’t like? Life’s too short for that”

I take her to the dance floor and all those club game sessions pay off. I’m trying to escalate. Pull, pull, pull whilst eye fucking and dancing. Not working. I move away from her. She goes to grab my hand to pull me back.  I pull free of her grip. This is the push to balance out the pull. The challenge that girls love. I’m not that easy sweetie, I don’t need you. I just want you. Her eyes light up. Within a minute of this a passionate dance floor makeout session lasting 20 minutes ensues. I don’t push it too far, as I don’t think she’s ready to be fucked tonight. I should have really done a bit less. We left soon after this, with me saying, “We’ll have to get together again” and her replying, “Probably…”. She text me afterwards saying she had fun.

I think she’s either undecided on me, or is trying to game me. I’m not sure which, and it doesn’t matter.

I’m trying to set up a third date but I’m broke and we’re both very busy so it’s tough, will have to see. The main danger here is fucking up due to the fact I like her so much.

All in all, I’m doing well in terms of getting initial interest from girls, but I’m really not closing. Not sure if it’s luck of the draw or if I’m not handling things quite right. The fact I’ve got more on my mind than closing girls at the moment doesn’t help much. Will have to wait and see.

———————————————

Stats since 1st March:
10 number closes
6 kiss closes
0 f closes

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Comments
  1. Jim says:

    That last girl that you took to the club… I’m not trying to be offense here… but I am giving advice which can often come across offensively… but I am just speaking about my own experiences.

    One thing that jumped out at me was that it was just you and her going to the pub, then you and her going to the club. I honestly think that she might be waiting to see your ‘amigos y amigas’ (social friend group).

    Good looking girls without major issues almost always have rich social lives. One of these girls is not going to want to go off and live in a world were it is just you and her pretty much living alone. She may find you physically attractive, but she also wants to have a fun life with you, and no couple are an island.

    I reckon if you had taken her to the pub, then to a fucking cool houseparty, you may have wound up shagging her that night.

    Of course I wasn’t actually there, so this advice could be bunk. But based on my personal experiences dating girls this is what might be going on.

  2. Jim says:

    That last girl that you took to the club… I’m not trying to be offensive here… but I am giving advice… which can often come across offensively… I am just speaking about my own experiences.

    One thing that jumped out at me was that it was just you and her going to the pub, then you and her going to the club. I honestly think that she might be waiting to see your ‘amigos y amigas’ (social friend group).

    Good looking girls without major issues almost always have rich social lives. One of these girls is not going to want to go off and live in a world were it is just you and her pretty much living alone. She may find you physically attractive, but she also wants to have a fun life with you, and no couple are an island.

    I reckon if you had taken her to the pub, then to a fucking cool houseparty, you may have wound up shagging her that night.

    Of course I wasn’t actually there, so this advice could be bunk. But based on my personal experiences dating girls this is what might be going on.

    • betatopua says:

      I’d disagree. If it was like the 5th date and she was still holding out, then maybe you’d be right. But IMO a 2nd date is a bit soon to be doing the whole meeting the friends thing.

      I also think people also often over imagine the social life of a hot girl. I’ve known some hot girls and they’ve had decent social lives, but nothing mind blowing.

      This girl works two jobs, and although she used to go out to high end clubs a lot, she hasn’t been clubbing in a while and it sounds like she has a slightly more subdued social life.

      Still, thinking about it, I need to work on my social life more.

      • Jim says:

        I’d say that more important than taking her to this party would be having the option to do so. In my experience you can sense how good someones social life/social options are within the first 3 minutes of talking to them. Whether or not she meets your friends on the first or second date, she still has a almost exact idea of who they are and what their life is like.

        But I am getting further into the realm of hypothetical speculation here, and I am probably just projecting my home movies onto your story. When I lived in Brighton I did a big daygame and nightgame push and dated a bunch of girls from that. Most of them drifted off after the first or second date. I summised that this was probably due to me not having much of a social life outside of daygame and nightgame with my wings. I was and am experiencing health problems which prevent me from having a normal robust social life.

        Anyway, good luck with your hottie.

        I also have to say that this blog is very well written, and a breath of fresh air. It is a real guy actually going out and trying to shag women who is describing real problems. It is not the constant hypothetical debate of TheLSS where guys give advice on ‘what should be done in hypothetical situation X’ (although I am as guilty of this as the next guy.

        I particularly liked your post about the fact that it be difficult to approach enough girls in the “witching hour” of 10pm to 1:30am. This is the kind of real world constraint that gets ignored on the LSS and other pickup boards.

  3. MikeG says:

    I do have to agree with Jim that your social life does reflect in your dating life to a point. Its a weird imbalance because historically guys who had game got it do to a good social standing. Here in the last 10 years or so we have guys who are picking up all this game knowledge without having the social backing. In the world of fighting, Its kind of like teaching a weak skinny guy martial arts skills. While he now has the tactics for fighting, there is going to be a weird imbalance because the guy doesn’t have a weight lifting regime/size to back it up. Same thing with pickup, if you’re entire world revolves around you and your two wing buddies that does put you at a disadvantage at times

    When Jim said “having the option to do so”, thats is 100% correct. It has nothing to do with actually taking her there, but everything to do with her believing that is your world. Its the same reason why if your in medical school, a women will pretty much look at you in the similar light as a doctor. If you were a semi-pro football player, she would look at you in a similar light as a real pro. Your status goes way up when you can paint a picture in her head of your path/life in the most positive light as possible.

    “But IMO a 2nd date is a bit soon to be doing the whole meeting the friends thing.”

    That depends what your reality is….if you make it out to be a formal “meet the friends thing” then yes thats weird. But if your a social popular guy who has friends at a bar and you bring her out then its not at all. I have a friend who used to be a semi-pro baseball player who would get tons of girls and never picked up a PUA book. He rarely ever took girls out for drinks alone. His dating basically was either he would have her meet him at the bar with all his friends or he would throw a weekend gathering at his place and then fuck them at the end of the night. I mean it was ridiculous how easy it was for him.

    For example with HBBrightEyes Online, lets pretend that the club you bounced her to you were really good friends with the owner, you knew the bouncers and bartenders. Two things happen, one you’re more confident which rubs off, and two you start looking better to her. It just makes things easier for you.

    “I also think people also often over imagine the social life of a hot girl. ”

    Thats true and probably much more likely that a girl on a dating site won’t be living some Paris Hilton type of night life. Though I’d still reckon you’re much better off if you have a better social life than her(which is obvious and you obviously know that).

    One’s social life is probably the most overlooked aspect with PUA because you can still get laid a lot and have good success in a club without it, but its one of those unresolved things that will start to show up negatively at times. Its probably the thing we hate to admit the most that we are lacking.

  4. […] this is my problem with HBBrightEyes. She’s a solid 8 objectively and also just my type subjectively. This means I think […]

  5. […] Wednesday, HBBrightEyes cancels our Saturday afternoon date, saying she’s decided to go home for the Easter weekend. […]

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