Field Report: My first ever singles night

Posted: August 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

One of my occasional wings has been on at me for a while about going to a singles night run by a London centric dating website. He claimed to me that it’s really easy to get girls there. Since all the girls at the event are “Single and ready to mingle” this makes sense. The events happen twice a month. They’re held on weeknights in central London bars, and are free to attend. There’s no special activities organized at the event, so it’s just like a normal night at a bar, expect pretty much everyone there is available and looking to meet someone.

I went along to one this Thursday after work. After meeting my wing (and spotting some other London ‘lair’ guys I recognize) I started to take in the vibe of the place and started checking out the women that were on offer. Since I’m used to night clubs, the vibe was much more subdued than I’m used to. Quieter music and no dancing (early in the night). I felt out of my element right off the bat. I knew the environment meant that I’d have to do a lot more talking, particularly as part of a group. As huge introvert, this is most definitely my weak point. I stayed positive and thought that this would simply give me a chance to to work on this weak point. The percentage of girls who are hot is lower than in a normal club, mainly due to the older crowd (25 – 35 I’d say).

I’m stood drinking beer and talking to my wing when I notice a group of three girls across the bar. One of them is scanning the room, a sure sign she wants to be picked up. I lock eyes with her. She smiles briefly before looking away. Two minutes later that same group of three girls is no longer across the bar. They’re stood right behind us. Hmm. What could be going on here. I point this out to my wing. An older guy (late 40s) who my wing introduced me to earlier (turns out this guy is an older PUA) opens them. A few minutes later he brings my wing into the set then ejects himself. My wing then brings me into the set.

I think it was something to do with not being warmed up, but I felt slightly uncomfortable right away. This doesn’t usually happen to me these days. I soon get over it and make conversation. My wings talking to the HB7/8 (lets call her HBLovestruck) who made eye contact with me, there’s an HB8 who seems too sarcastic for my liking and an HB6 who seems friendly. I chat to the HB6. Just general chat, nothing special. My wing disappears and another guy opens HBLovestruck. After he gives up she says hello to me. I tell her I’ve forgotten her name. She tells me in a flirty way that that’s very rude. I tell her I’m a rude person. We exchange names and chat. It turn’s out that she’s a member of the dating website so I tease her about being on a dating website (I elected not to mention I’m on a dating website too). I finish my beer and so I eject to buy another.

Over the next couple of hour I don’t actually open any sets. Since it’s a singles night, unlike in most bars / clubs average guys here are approaching women. I just hate doing approaches on a group of girls that look closed off. I keep getting brought into set with my wing. I don’t like most of the girls I am talking too, they are boring. There’s one two set where one of the girls is very flirty and makes good conversation. My wing number closes her then ejects. I stay and chat a while. I do like the girl. She’s a solid 7 with a great personality, but since my wing took her number I keep things platonic then eject.

It’s about 9:30 and I haven’t opened a set of my own yet. I need to get in more practice approaching groups in this environment. My wings one on one with a great girl. I chat to her for a bit and she’s cool. She tells me I’m one of the top 5 guys in the room, but I clearly know it from the way I walk around the place, so some girls may be put off by my arrogant vibe. A fair assessment.

I go on the prowl then see exactly the type of girl I’m looking for. Her two friends are chatting to a guy, and she’s stood a little away from them half dancing to the music and not joining in with their conversation. This is a DTF signal. I approach her.

I tell her I like the way she’s dancing when no one else is, I think she has a good vibe about her. We talk about the dating event and her being single. I tell her how I find it hard to find girls who I really click with, and I can tell early on if we’ll  get on. I tell her I’m yet to meet anyone I’m interested in tonight, and I won’t just hang in there chatting to a hot girl if I don’t find them interesting. I say that I’m quite to the point so if I’m still chatting to a girl after 10 minutes that means I like her, otherwise I’ll move on before that. She asks how long we’ve been chatting for and I tell her 9 minutes. It’s at this point I decide to isolate her.

I’ve noticed how most guys (both PUAs and ‘chodes’) just stay in the same spot they met a girl talking and talking and talking, either hoping something will happen or waiting till enough time has passed to take the girls number. In my opinion, this is were most newbie PUAs (who have overcome AA) go wrong with night game. After 10 / 15 minutes of chatting with a girl in the same spot you met her things start to go stale. You need to escalate and that’s what most guys fail to do.

When I say escalate, I don’t necessarily mean physically. What I take escalation to mean is escalating the level of intimacy between you and the girl in such away that it moves the interaction closer to sex. Physical escalation is just one way of doing this. Other ways include:

  • Verbally sexually escalating
  • Verbally escalating by putting a romantic spin on the conversation (ask them if they’re single, for example)
  • Isolating the girl

I always like to isolate the girl as quickly as possible. often within 5 minutes. Isolation gives you both the sense that you’re together now, and it’s a strong feeling. She’ll also be more likely to allow physical escalation when you’re one on one.

So I take this girl to a sofa. We chat to for a bit, just standard ABC getting to know you stuff. I tell her I only just noticed how nice her legs are and kiss close her. A few minutes later I’ve got my hand up her skirt with my fingers inside her panties rubbing her clit. I try and take her home but she won’t come with me, so I take her number and tell her we’ll do drinks soon. We chat for a few minutes longer then I take her back to her friends.

About this time I get another approach invitation from HBLovestruck. It was the third she’s given me tonight. I didn’t take it because I felt the girl I just fingered was a good sex prospect and I didn’t want to mess it up. I though about this later though and I realized I fucked this night up. It should have been HBLovestruck I was on the sofa with, not the other girl. I really need to start going after the hotter women.

  1. Jim Bacon says:

    Good stuff. Perhaps you are better looking than your realize now you have lost some fat? Or perhaps you keep going for the less good looking girls because you expect them to be easier?

    I’m still amazed that you can get away with sticking you hand up a girls skirt in the bar, can’t other people see what you are doing?

    • betatopua says:

      I’ve certainly got better looking since losing weight. It’s not just the lack of a belly; my face has got a lot more chisled. I’m fighting to keep the fat off at the moment, but fattening foods taste so good.

      Yeah, I think I’m going after girls I percieve as easier too much.

      People do see. She told me on the day 2 that her friends saw me fingering her. I just seem to be able to get girls to do naughty things in public. Like I got a hand job in a bar on a date last month, and I had my hand up a hot girls skirt in the restaurant area of a club last week. My wings always ask me how I do it, but it’s not like I have a special method to achieve these things. To be honest I’m starting to think I need to cut down on doing stuff like this. It’s exciting but I think it may be counter productive when it comes to getting laid.

      • MikeG says:

        “To be honest I’m starting to think I need to cut down on doing stuff like this. It’s exciting but I think it may be counter productive when it comes to getting laid.”

        I think its completely counterproductive unless you can fuck her in the venue that your at. I originally noticed this with a friend of mine you got laid all the time(Natural). Thing is I never seen the guy ever as so much as kiss a girl at a club or party in all the years I knew him yet he got laid all the time [I have a wing who is just like this. He’s a natural. You can tell he’s good with women from the way he talks to them and the way they respond, but I’ve never once seen him kiss a girl, and I’ve been out with him dozens of times. He waits till the time is right to escalate. I’m going to try talking to him more about this, but it’s hard to get naturals to talk about what they do… it’s just natural to them]. I’ve seen him take girls back to his place and they would disappear into his room and he would fuck them but the guy never made any real sexual touching in the club. On the opposite end I was hooking up with girls in the club and taking it far as I possible could but wasn’t getting laid. Then it dawned on me what I was doing wrong. If you can’t logistically have sex with a girl its usually a bad move getting her temp up that high because there is no where to go but down. Thats when she gets buyers remorse and it can be difficult to follow up with it(she then realizes her friends might have saw her, she sobers up…whatever)[Did you see a big increase in your FClose rate after you stopped escalating so far in the venue? How did you filter for girls who were DTF and not looking for a LTR?]

        I just think if your end goal is to get laid its better holding off on the real sexual touching until in private. I couldn’t picture James Bond fingering some girl at some casino in Monte Carlo but I can picture him being confident as hell with just building sexual tension with words until she’s back at his hotel room.[A fictional character who’s just a little too good with women to be believable isn’t a great example]

  2. Ash says:

    sounds good, practice makes perfect, remember not to keep doing the same things if they don’t work. Which website does this singles website?

    • betatopua says:

      To what were you referring to when you say, “Doing the same things”?

      • Ash says:

        you’re holding back, you definitely have the skills from what I’ve read these past few months to acquire hotter women but there’s something holding you back, so you keep doing the “same things” (in this case and in obviously what you believe yourself in going for what you see as 2nd best target). I like your blog, I’ve been following your progress, it’s very good.

  3. MikeG says:

    [Did you see a big increase in your FClose rate after you stopped escalating so far in the venue? ]

    Definitely. There is just too much not to gain when you take things that far in a location where you cannot logistically have sex. A lot of girls radar’s will go off when you take things too far in a club then trying to bounce them out back to your place. Or it makes following up with them difficult a lot of time because now you’re the guy she was with making out with when she was drunk at the bar.

    [How did you filter for girls who were DTF and not looking for a LTR?]

    I don’t filter but you can usually tell if a girl is DTF usually without even kissing her. Think of how much sexual tension you can build up without really dirty touching. The best part about that is you can tend to hold the cards more if you can do this and she might be going crazy to be alone with you just to get a kiss(Which you can then escalate as far as you want).

    [A fictional character who’s just a little too good with women to be believable isn’t a great example]

    Well he is fictional but his general mannerisms are pretty on spot from my personal observations. The point is the guys who are naturals who get a lot of women tend to play it cooler. They seemed to be a little above the drunk makeout so to speak because they had success with women all of their life. Believe me I am one of the worst historically when it comes hooking up with girls whenever possible. Its something that I had to correct consciously because I wasn’t getting results besides well making out with a girl at the moment instead of seeing the big picture.

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