Congruency – Part 2

Posted: August 18, 2012 in Uncategorized

In part one of this post I talked about the type of man a wannabe PUA represents himself as when he does a direct approach on a girl. A man who confidently goes after what he wants in life, and often gets it. The fact that the budding PUA does not really live his whole life in this manner, but rather just approaches girls in this manner, means that when he approaches like this he is being in-congruent with who he usually is. I believe this is the route of much of guys AA, and also of their problems in getting the girl into bed even if they can make the initial approach.

Although I often go direct on girls in clubs I think this is in-congruent with the way I currently live my life. I am not the type of man that always knows what he wants in life and confidently goes after it, often succeeding. In this post I am going to look at certain behaviours / habits I have which I feel are currently preventing me from being that man.

To simplify this and also to make it easier to track my progress when addressing these issues I’m going to create a list of good and bad behaviours / habits. I will then assign points to each based upon frequency and perceived impact of the behaviour. Good things get plus points, bad things minus points. I’m going to do this for the past week, from last Saturday to yesterday. The points for the week will be totalled. A positive score means I’m doing OK. The higher the positive score the more I’m living my life the way I want to be. A negative score means I’m doing it wrong.

  • Working out 3 times a week hard with weights: +3
  • Failing to approach hot girls I see when I’m out and about (but not sarging): -5
  • Good eating practices. Would give 5 points if I ate well all week, but I slipped up a few times: +2
  • Each time I bought a pack of cigarettes when I’m trying to quit: -8
  • Masturbating when I’m meant to be practising nofap. -1 for fapping -2 for paying to fap to a girl on cam: -8
  • Spending money on things I don’t need like too many excess energy drinks: -2
  • Nights when I planned to do something productive but didn’t (+2 for action, -2 for inaction): -4
  • Not taking action to improve my financial situation / career when I have identified finances as holding me back: -5
  • Social activity in the week. Had a few dates but didn’t do anything that is really me leading an exciting life: -2
  • Reading. Did none: -5
  • Saw an HB9 come onto the dancefloor. Brazilian. Huge tits. Perfect ass. Tight denim shorts and a tight t-shirt. The type of girl who wouldn’t look out of place as one of the hotties they have at a car show. A circle of chodes instantly forms around her and her friends. She periodically backs away from them. I look at her and think I won’t stand a chance with her. I push my way through both the fear and the chodes and take her hand any way. We dance sexy grinding like mad (she can really dance) for 10 minutes. The chodes disperse. She refuses kclose and later I nclose her (but she flakes): +5
  • Not having a plan for my progress in life and game: -5
  • Forming friendships. Meet some new LSS guys who I get on with, but they are from out of town: +2
  • Effort at work. I wasn’t lazy but I should have gone the extra mile on one project that’s starting to drag: 0

Total: -32.

Conclusion: Oh fuck.

Obviously the points are very arbitrary, and so -32 doesn’t really mean much compared to say -15 or -60. Despite this I think this gives a very good overview of where my life’s at at the moment. To ensure progress I’m going to come back to this and do it again on the week commencing 3rd of September. Expect a post on the 9th of September where I tot up the points for that week.

This list is very personal to me, but this doesn’t stop you doing the same thing. Write out a list of behaviours that you want to engage in and those you don’t, and score them up like I did, with the scores being weighted based on how important you perceive them being. Remember this is not about living your life the way I or any PUA forum / book / guru / society says you should. It’s about having your own goals and pursuing them confidently.

In part 3 of the post I’m going to go into specifics of how I intend to elevate this score so that come the week commencing the 3rd of September, it can be a positive one.

Read part 1

Read part 3

  1. Jim Bacon says:

    This is an intelligent analysis of your situation. And it is always a pleasure to read about the efforts of someone who is trying to improve their situation.

    Some of these things could help increase your rate of success with women. But some of them won’t do much. The whole non fapping thing seems pretty out there.

    I know that in the past you have said that you don’t believe there is any grand unified theory of pickup. But I do believe that if you are going to set and carry out projects to make yourself more attractive, and to get more poon, then you have to at least have some general ideas about what women want.

    I also believe that time and energy (particularly emotional energy) are limited and that the enemy of the best is often the good. For example, reading is never a bad thing to do in itself, but it is bad if the opportunity cost of not doing something else would have been better.

    But right now I can’t put any theory into practice as I am sick (my blog is just a sickness recovery journal right now). So it will be good to read your journal and see what works and what doesn’t.

  2. gunsofapollo says:

    Jim, love your last name if it’s real. Anyway, I think the no-fap policy does help. Recently, I have been chasing fox and working out hard and havent gotten any action in two weeks. I am BEYOND horny. My test levels are throw the roof.

    But anyway, I have finally stopped over Gaming. No matter how I feel, I only allow myself one compliment to a girl – after that, the rest is sublte. Like “I have to tell you, you are the most adorable girl I have seen all week (pause introduce) I have been busy with…blahh” and then talk boring stuff with Dominant Body Language. Way better than spitting wanab BS – once the girl gets talking, just let her rollllllll and don’t try – hardest thing I have learned this year.


  3. […] is incongruent to the type of man they wish to present themselves as when hitting on a girl. In part two I discussed the areas in my life which created such incongruencies. In this, the third and final […]

  4. […] Read part 2 of this post […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s