Day 2 Round Up

Posted: August 18, 2012 in Uncategorized

Since day 2s are a clear weakness for me, I’ve decided to list all of the first dates this year in roughly chronological order, looking at the outcome of each in order to see if I can see any patterns which may give a clue as to why I’m failing.

I only started going out on dates in March, so these are 5 and a half months worth of dates.

Red headed South African ,HB6 – Night club pickup

Outcome: Kiss close, moderate groping, she didn’t want a second date

Young blonde Finish girl on gap year, HB8 – Bar pickup

Outcome: 2 dates, kiss close, minor groping, she didn’t seem that keen on a third date implying I should just meet up with her when she was out with friends. I declined (I count this as her not wanting to see me again).

Fat Welsh girl, HB4 – Online

Outcome: Kiss close, I didn’t want to see her again.

Older English girl, HB6 – Online

Outcome: Fclose, brief fling

Bright eyes, HB8 – Online

Outcome: Fclose, 3 month relationship

Shy English girl – Online

Outcome: Fclose, still see her occasionally.

Tall English girl, HB7 – Online

Outcome: Kclose, then she went on holiday and had a death in the family. She didn’t want to see me again.

Younger Indian girl, HB5 – Online

Outcome: Fclose, 2nd date lay.

Half Jamaican girl, HB7 – Night club pickup

Outcome: No KClose. Date didn’t go all that well. Made a lot of excuses about meeting up for a second date and cancelled once so I stopped chasing (I count this as her not wanting to see me again).

Red Head Kiwi, HB6 – Online

Outcome: She bored me and was arsey. I didn’t want to see her again.

Dumpy Canadian, HB5 – Online

Outcome: KClose. I didn’t want to see her again, she wasn’t hot enough.

Dark skinned English girl, HB7 – Online

Outcome: First date went really well. KClose. Second date was more subdued and she decided she didn’t want to see me again.

Young Swedish Au Pair, HB8 – Night club pickup

Outcome: Blow / hand job on the first date. No second date because she decided she was going to stick with another guy she was seeing.

Young English Girl who talked about herself too much – Night club pickup

Outcome: Kiss close. Didn’t want to see me again.

Blonde English girl, HB6 – Online

Outcome: Hand job on first date. She was interested in a second date, but I decided that logistical issues (she lives just outside London) meant that it wasn’t worth carrying on seeing her, despite her being ripe for the flcose. Might have put the effort in if she was hotter.

Tall Brazilian girl,  HB6 – Online

Outcome: First date fclose.

English banker, HB5 – Singles night pickup

Outcome: KClose and groping. Not as attractive as I first thought, didn’t like her personality as I got to know her more so didn’t want to see her again.

English programmer, HB5 – Singles night pickup

Outcome: KClose. Lack of hotness and logistical issues (she’s outside London but works in London), means that I don’t want to see her again.

Older Indian girl, HB6 – Night club pickup

Outcome: KClose.  Lack of hotness and logistical issues (she’s outside London), means that I don’t want to see her again.

Some stats on these dates:

  • Total: 19
  • Online: 11 / Cold approach: 8
  • FClosed: 5 / Not Fclosed: 14 (26% fclose rate). Not counting bjs and hand jobs as fcloses.
  • Girls I didn’t want to see again: 7 / Didn’t want to see me again: 6
  • All lays from online, none from cold approach (my only cold approach fclose this year was an SNL, so does not appear here).

I’m looking at this figures and just taking a top level view of this, and at the same time thinking about what Krauser said was required for a successful date:

  • the girl likes you
  • you genuinely like her
  • you don’t fuck up the escalation

I’ve clearly been fucking up on point 2, and in a big way. If I didn’t want to see more than a third of the girls I went on a date with again, I’m obviously wasting a lot of time / money on dates when my only reason for being there is that the girl was willing to go on a date with me and I wanted to up my lay count. Also mixed in with this is an important lesson that I’m only just starting to learn: logistics are very important. This was the reason I didn’t want to see some of the girls again, and so I’m going to be screening for this better in the future. It may mean I have to walk away from some attractive girls early on, but I think it’s something I’ll have to do. Overall though, I need to be going for more attractive women.

The girl likes me… I think I’ve been ok on this one, but not perfect. I seem to be able to screen fairly well online as much as possible for girls who like me. I have dropped the ball on a few occasions with cold approach though. This was with the red head South African, the Half Jamaican girl and possible with the hot Finish girl. In all of these cases the girls, during the initial pick up the girls seemed to like talking to me, yet the physical vibe wasn’t quite there. They both refused kiss closes, and when it came to kino it just didn’t seem quite right. Through experience I have come to learn the ways girls who you’ll end up fucking react to your touch, and touch you back soon after first meeting. It’s too subtle to put into words. None of the girls recoiled from my touch, but something wasn’t quite there. More experienced guys will know what I’m talking about here. It’s even more subtle than just say, whether or not you get the kiss on the first attempt. Two our of six of the girls I’ve fucked this year turned me down on my first kiss close attempt. This means very little.

I need to filter out girls who are looking purely for a LTR guy or who are looking to go on dates just for the experience of going on dates (girls like the attention a date gives them, and will often go on dates with guys they will never actually fuck, and I’m not talking about gold diggers here). The risk of walking away from a good prospect is always there, but I need to go with my instinct here and filter out certain girls soon after meeting them. I will do this based on the physical vibe I was talking about earlier.

The last point is not fucking up the escalation. There are three ways in which you can do this:

  1. Doing it awkwardly because you’re nervous about escalating.
  2. Going too fast / too hard.
  3. Going to slow / not pushing hard enough.

I never make the first mistake. I’m not nervous about escalating any more. Take the first kiss for example. I’ve kissed 30 – 40 girls this year. I’ve been given the cheek on so many occasions. Getting  rejected when going for a kiss / escalating is meaningless to me now.

I am guilty of the other two escalation faux paxes. I often push way to hard escalating when a girl first rebuffs me, then I often escalate way too far in a location / situation where we’re unlikely to have sex. On the flip side I’m fairly meek / lacking persistence when it comes to getting the girl to a location where sex can happen (ie my flat). This is a combination which can easily lose you many lays (I think this is a big one for me). I’m not going to go into detail about this now, as I’ll be doing a post analysing the weaknesses in my outer game soon which will cover this in more detail.

I think there’s also a fourth point that Krauser has missed, and that’s having good logistics. I usually fuck this up. I need to create a good date plan that’s near my house, but easily accessible to girls. Probably between me and central London. Based on Krauser’s coffee -> laid back drinking venue -> romantic drinking venue model (which makes sense to me) I need to find an place 15 minutes from both my house and central London that provides all three types of venue.

So my top level action plan:

  1. Only go on dates with girls I’m strongly attracted to
  2. Only go on dates with girls where I get the good up for sex with my physical vibe from them when first meeting them (cold approach).
  3. Don’t escalate too much outside of the sex location
  4. Push more to bounce them to my flat
  5. Arrange dates in a location which is closer to my flat

This is just an overview. As I’ve mentioned before a more detailed outer game post (will probably be a two parter, thinking about it) is coming soon.

  1. […] From now on I’m going to follow up on every ‘lead’ hard. I’m going to be persistent in moving the girl through the courtship ritual, towards sex, only giving up when I know I’ve really burnt the set to the ground. I think one thing that will help a lot with this is the realisation that I need to be going for hotter girls. […]

  2. MikeG says:

    “I need to find an place 15 minutes from both my house and central London that provides all three types of venue.”

    Is there anyway you can meet at places even closer?

    You’re right….Krauser completely missed the logistics part which is massively important because you can’t have sex with her unless you physically extract her back to your place. There was a really good post on the attraction forums about this where a guy posted about his experience living in NYC and he went into major detail about how he logistically planned out everything before hand. He knew the idea places to sit at the first bar, then walking to the next bar and he had it planned that his apartment was extremely close or in the path to the last place. When I read that I realized how important it is to plan out everything before hand. Also how important apartment location is and probably the best thing you can possibly do is live in a apartment that is near a series of restaurants…pubs etc. Even if it means living in a really tiny place. Kind of goes back to Paul Janka mentioning NYC being the best place in earth for pickup.

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