Congruency – Part 3

Posted: September 2, 2012 in Uncategorized

In part one of this post I talked about how I believe that most guys who get into PUA live there life in a manner which is incongruent to the type of man they wish to present themselves as when hitting on a girl. In part two I discussed the areas in my life which created such incongruencies. In this, the third and final part of this post I will talk about the changes I want to make in my life in order to be more congruent with this image of a well developed man which I try to portray when I open a girl

Since I’m a little behind on posting here and so need to rattle off a few posts tonight, I’m just going to do this as a bullet list:

  • Continue working out hard 3 times a week
  • Do better at maintaining a strict(ish) diet so that I can add lean muscle mass (max 2 cheat meals a week, no missed meals or supplements).
  • Stop smoking
  • Approach girls I find attractive during the day on the spur of the moment (i.e. don’t have specific day game sessions, just go after girls I see). Since this will be done sober and scares me a little (has been a while since I’ve done a day approach, barring the carnival), my minimum target will only be two a week for this month.
  • Maintain a better standard of dress at all times, not just when going sarging or on a date (I have a habit of often dressing like shit and not shaving / doing my hair at other times). This is important for the above point.
  • Spend at least 5 hours a week doing productive work (ie blogging, on here or my other blog, career development). Time to  be logged.
  • Spend at least 5 hours a week reading. Time to be logged.
  • Spend no money on sexual services of any kind.
  • Fap no more than twice per week.
  • Don’t waste money on pointless things like eating out and caffeine drinks when not necessary. Be frugal.
  • Do one interesting / social thing per week that I wouldn’t usually do.
  • Meet new LSS people, befriend the ones I like.
  • Put in some extra hours at work when required (but not too many). Don’t slack off.

This lot should be a good step in the right direction towards living more like I want to. Probably won’t be quite game changing, though.

Read part 1

Read part 2

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Comments
  1. Jim Bacon says:

    Just a few quick thoughts (I realize this is unasked for advice, but here goes):

    Smoking – very difficult to quit so why bother? If it is for health and financial reasons why not first investigate one of those electronic cigarettes that gives you nicotine in puff of hot steam?

    Not spending money on sexual services – good. Plus if you are using this as a fapping aid, then surely there is a lot of free or pirated streamable content on the net?

    Fap no more than twice per week – a bit of a ridiculous goal in my honest opinion. Are there actually any benefits to this that aren’t broscience? (Yes, I’ve heard that doing this makes you want to approach more or something, sounds like ridiculous busywork to me).

    Don’t spend money on eating out – why not pack or cook decent lunches (+ dinners if you have to go to something straight from work).

    Continue working out hard 3 times per week – have you thought any more about some ‘chemical assistance’. As a guy who has a tendency to go to fat (and is now the wrong side of 30) this could make a huge difference. I imagine that getting a muscular but slim body will be tough enough even with chemical assistance.

    Approach girls I find attractive during the day on the spur of the moment – I tried this one myself, but found it very impractical in practice as I needed warm up sets and a wing to support me and hang out with afterwards. Also I would need to do on average around 5 to 10 approaches to get a number. Doing 5 approaches in a 2 hour approaching session was tough (for various reasons).

    Of course all this advice is coming from a guy who is barely getting laid right now (read my latest blog post). But I’m not getting laid due to sickness. I hope we both reach the promised land and are ‘knee deep in clunge’ some day.

    • betatopua says:

      >Smoking – very difficult to quit so why bother? If it is for health and financial reasons why not first investigate one of those electronic cigarettes that gives you nicotine in puff of hot steam?

      Two reasons: Money and sense of self. I spend around £120 – £150 per month on fags. For that I could spend a few hours driving a hovercraft, go on an extra night out, and still save a little cash at the end of the month. The sense of self is that I don’t want to smoke, so each time I do I’m letting myself down. Yes I’ve tried the electronic ones. Don’t like them.

      >Fap no more than twice per week – a bit of a ridiculous goal in my honest opinion. Are there actually any benefits to this that aren’t broscience? (Yes, I’ve heard that doing this makes you want to approach more or something, sounds like ridiculous busywork to me).

      The science may well be bull but it seems to work well for me.

      >Don’t spend money on eating out – why not pack or cook decent lunches (+ dinners if you have to go to something straight from work).

      I already do this. I cook my food on a slow cooker in bulk. It’s sometimes I chose to go out instead of eating it, and it’s really expensive and often not healthy.

      >Continue working out hard 3 times per week – have you thought any more about some ‘chemical assistance’. As a guy who has a tendency to go to fat (and is now the wrong side of 30) this could make a huge difference. I imagine that getting a muscular but slim body will be tough enough even with chemical assistance.

      Well I don’t want to be huge. Looking at the topless picture I posted on here I’m not doing too badly after 10 weeks back at the gym. Wouldn’t rule it out though.

      >Approach girls I find attractive during the day on the spur of the moment – I tried this one myself, but found it very impractical in practice as I needed warm up sets and a wing to support me and hang out with afterwards. Also I would need to do on average around 5 to 10 approaches to get a number. Doing 5 approaches in a 2 hour approaching session was tough (for various reasons).

      Not being able to do warm up sets is the reason I’ve set the bar so low at only two per week. I think in an average week I will be presented with well over a dozen opportunities.

      The reasoning behind doing this is that it can actually ease approach anxiety much quicker than mass approaches during sarging sessions (according to an article by Good Looking Loser), because approaching women gets ingrained into your self image when you do it this way. Yes it will be hard, and I don’t expect to get a date from it for a few months, but seeing as my time investment over those few months will be negligible, this doesn’t matter.

    • MikeG says:

      “Fap no more than twice per week – a bit of a ridiculous goal in my honest opinion. Are there actually any benefits to this that aren’t broscience? (Yes, I’ve heard that doing this makes you want to approach more or something, sounds like ridiculous busywork to me).”

      Honestly its not broscience. If you’re jerking off everyday its going to kill some desire to approach. Depending on how much you jerk off it can be huge. On top of this lets face it….if we are trying to pattern ourselves after high status alpha guys who are getting women, do you think those guys are sitting in their rooms in front of the PC jerking off to porn websites everyday?

      I would just think it would be common sense that jerking off to a lot of porn would be counterproductive to leading the life that betatopua is trying to strive for. Really I would try to exclude porn as well for when you do fap.

  2. Jim Bacon says:

    Good luck with your efforts mate. I haven’t taken ‘chemicals’ myself. But I think they could be useful in obtaining a decent body without a beer gut. In the past to get bigger muscles I have inevitably gained a bit of a beer gut at the same time. Then again I have never been able to train consistently for years at a time.

  3. gunsofapollo says:

    Hey man, some good bullets. It’s strange – a lot of your posts seem stressful. I already do most of your bullets naturally and think that if you “worry” about diet, worry about exactly how much you read or blog, you may end up shooting yourself in the foot. You will benefit the most from doing the social activities and talking to hotties during the day and reading will give you more to talk about. But watch your mindset – Enjoy what you are working on.

    Your club Game is far better than mine, but every time I have talked to a hot girl off the street I have gotten her number. Every time the number was solid. Not all lead to dates, but I sure as shit didn’t worry about AA or hitting a specific number. As JIm said – you can walk around for over an hour and not see any hot girls so you end up wasting time AND psyching yourself out. In summary, figure out which of your goals you are most apt at and exploit the hell out of it while working on the others bit by bit.
    -M

  4. bhodisatta says:

    This may sound like madness but it’s not. Reading your last few posts you are getting very introspective and into inner game and you need a little bit of inner-game oil to get the wheels turning. You need inner game Accelerant. Such a thing actually does exist. Myself and Krauser recently seperately took (legal) magic truffles and had a life-changing psilocybin experience. Psilocybin has the effect of giving you a deep, prolonged mental audit and allows you to defrag your brain. You play chess with your own mind. I can honestly say that the single time I took this recently was one of the best things I have done in my life and has, without hyperbole, changed the course of my life. It’s five years of inner-game work in one day. I cannot understate how much my life has improved by taking this. I regard it as a tool, not as a drug. I won’t proselytize further but you have my number… call me for further discussion if you are curious!

  5. […] wanted to follow up on my last congruency post to see how I’ve progressed. First just a quick rundown on how last week went in general, to […]

  6. […] Read part 3 of this post […]

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