Inner game revelation

Posted: September 9, 2012 in Uncategorized

I had a little bit of a inner game revelation whilst wandering the streets of Brixton today: I’m trying to derive my sole source of self esteem from being able to pickup and sleep with attractive women.

Although this is something that just came to me today, the seeds of this were evident in the very first paragraph of my very first post of this blog:

Different guys tend to respect differing qualities in other guys. For example, some men respect a man who can fight, while other’s think this is just a bit too primal and so aren’t impressed. Other men respect a man who can make loads of money in business, but other’s believe this to be overly capitalist and not the true value of a man’s worth. There is one quality that nearly all men universally respect in other men though. The ability to repeatedly and effortlessly woo women.

Today it just clicked. In my head I believe that no matter how much I fuck up or under achieve in any or every other part of my life, if I can regularly cold approach and lay attractive women, I will never be thought of as a loser. Men will always envy another man’s ability to do this. Think about it. One man may be the CEO of a company, pulling in £500k a year in salary, but still be unable to regularly attract and fuck hot women (call girls don’t count because I’m talking about ego here, not just sexual gratification). He on some level will envy a guy who works behind a bar but regularly fucks 8s and 9s.

Despite there being much truth in the fact that many people admire and expert cold approacher, I think looking to success at it as your sole source of self esteem is dangerous. In game you’re always taught that approval seeking is bad. Basing your self esteem on whether you can bed women or not has got to be the ultimate form of approval seeking.

Of course being good at pickup is always going to be an ego boost, I need to spread my self esteem sources wider than that. I need to find multiple things in my life of which I can be proud.

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Comments
  1. Joe says:

    This is really, really insightful man. I think I’ve heard this before, or at least I’ve never heard it put so succinctly. Hope this helps you to keep getting better.

  2. Jim Bacon says:

    I couple of years ago I was walking through Brighton uni and just randomly overheard one guy say to another “You can’t be cocky unless you’re actually good at something”.

    I think you need situations in your life that make you feel confident and in charge. If you are in an emasculating job or job that you are struggling with for any length of time then you can forget about being a PUA.

    • betatopua says:

      If I’m honest I’m OK at my job, and it isn’t hugely emasculating. I just put myself down when it comes to my job I think, plus also I hate anyone being in charge of me.

  3. Jim Bacon says:

    I couple of years ago I was walking through Brighton uni and just randomly overheard one guy say to another “You can’t be cocky unless you’re actually good at something”.

    I think you need situations in your life that make you feel confident and in charge. Socially and work wise. If you are in an emasculating job or job that you are struggling with for any length of time then you can forget about being a PUA. If you have a withered social life due to long hours at work or for some other reason, then you are similarly limiting yourself.

    A lot of guys don’t like these ideas because they acknowledge that there are trade offs between your life, work, and future wealth, and they want to have it all while giving up nothing and doing fuck all. Hence the constant search online for tricks that will enable them to get a hot girl without actually changing anything about themselves.

  4. GunsofApollo says:

    You changed you site format, looks great man.

    I need to figure out how to edit and design like this.
    -M

    • betatopua says:

      It’s just a free theme available from wordpress. It (and many others) can be installed from the dashboard in a single click. I haven’t done any custom coding on this site.

  5. MikeG says:

    Good post. I’ve heard this before but i can’t recall where. Its something ive always known but something I forget a lot. Its completely correct. Its not even bedding a lot of women, it could be as simple as have a really hot girlfriend. Lets say you introduce your HB 9 girlfriend to your coworkers or friends and they had no idea what she looked like…..all of sudden I guarantee you get a different level of respect from them(male or female). There is something subconscious at a biological level that tells people you have something postive going for you.

    This also goes with the simple fact that your attractiveness sky rockets when you’re seen with a hot girl. Think about all the times you’re sitting at a bar with a good looking girl…..if you’re having a good date then you have this tunnel vision where the whole bar isn’t on your radar BUT if you take a moment to look around you’ll notice girls and guys checking you out. Obviously they are looking at the girl as well, but you’re now the cool guy and your status is way up. Compare that to when your sitting at the bar having a drink with your male friend. Nobody gives a fuck…..

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