Life just fucked me in the ass & congruency follow up

Posted: September 10, 2012 in Uncategorized

I wanted to follow up on my last congruency post to see how I’ve progressed. First just a quick rundown on how last week went in general, to give some context.

Well, life’s pretty much fucked me in the ass. Just as I am at a critical point in my development, and I really do think the next 6 months are make or break for me, something has happened which threatens it all.

I’m not going to go into specifics, but I’ve had a (non life threatening)  medical condition for the past 10 years. It won’t kill me, but it can at times make life very uncomfortable, both causing me physical discomfort and lack of confidence. This condition had been completely dormant for the past 3 years, until 10 days ago when it came back with a vengeance. I have only just realised that it is certain exercises at the gym that have set it off. I haven’t been to the gym in three years until I started going again 2 months ago. Now my problem has returned.

A surgical option does exist, but it would mean being off work for at least 6 weeks, possibly more (a lot more). It really depends on the procedure and my specific case. With this hanging over my head, to be honest I’m growing massively depressed. This could mean really fucking my life up for a long period of time, and at such a critical moment.

I did take a girl home from the club this Friday. She was a bit on the old side (over 30). She would have been very attractive in her day but has hit the wall I’d say. She wouldn’t let me fuck her but we both went down on each other so I got a bj. She’s keen to see me again, she said so multiple times and she texted me a long text on Saturday night. I’m not going to see her again. I felt no connection to her on a personal level whatsoever. I just felt so disconnected from her throughout the whole pickup. It was like I wasn’t even there. It did happen quite fast (2/3 hours meet to bed, including the bus ride home).

On Saturday I kclosed a 19 year old American Student with a whooty (white girl booty, which I love), and got my hands all over her. I let myself get carried away getting physical instead of isolating and blew it.

Ok, so measuring this week for congruency:

  • Continue working out hard 3 times a week Only managed 1 day, due to my medical condition. +1
  • Do better at maintaining a strict(ish) diet so that I can add lean muscle mass (max 2 cheat meals a week, no missed meals or supplements). Did Ok, but not great. Need more calories, although on weightloss at the moment due to lack of gym +2
  • Stop smoking 8 packs smoked. -8
  • Approach girls I find attractive during the day on the spur of the moment (i.e. don’t have specific day game sessions, just go after girls I see). Since this will be done sober and scares me a little (has been a while since I’ve done a day approach, barring the carnival), my minimum target will only be two a week for this month. Saw 3 girls I could have approached. Pussied out each time. Saw a forth girl on Sunday and actually started to approach. Then she drapes her arm over some guy, obviously bf so I abort. -6
  • Maintain a better standard of dress at all times, not just when going sarging or on a date (I have a habit of often dressing like shit and not shaving / doing my hair at other times). This is important for the above point. Dressed better on most days +3
  • Spend at least 5 hours a week doing productive work (ie blogging, on here or my other blog, career development). Time to  be logged. Did 2.5 hours +2
  • Spend at least 5 hours a week reading. Time to be logged. Didn’t log the time but read nearly a whole book. Way over 5 hours. +5
  • Spend no money on sexual services of any kind. Win. +5
  • Fap no more than twice per week. Whoops. 8 Times. -8
  • Don’t waste money on pointless things like eating out and caffeine drinks when not necessary. Be frugal. Didn’t do well, but not awful. -4
  • Do one interesting / social thing per week that I wouldn’t usually do. Works night out & visited Brixton for the first time. +5
  • Meet new LSS people, befriend the ones I like. Only contacted via text, didn’t meet. 0.
  • Put in some extra hours at work when required (but not too many). Don’t slack off. Mediocre at this. 0.

Comes out at -7 (on first count). Big improvement from a couple of weeks ago, but still not great. Doing some spontaneous day game approaches would be a big win, but with the medical thing I’m not in the mood. Will do another one of these for next week. I think every other week is good enough to keep my on my toes.

  1. Jim Bacon says:

    Fuck, sorry to hear about the medical issue. If you can get it fixed then get it fixed. I spent years of my life denying that I had to come back to Australasia to try and deal with my medical problem. Now I wish I’d done it years ago (the jury’s still out on whether I get better).

  2. Jim Bacon says:

    Also I kind of guessed that you had some underlying health problem holding you back now or in the past for some reason. That post where you talked about getting bullied at work, not saying there is ever any justification for wankers who kick you when you are down, but being bullied usually indicates weakness and problems in some form or other. I’ve been there.

  3. […] is a follow up from a post I wrote previously about congruency. For those of you that don’t know what this is all about, I have a number of metrics which I […]

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