Number closing

Posted: September 27, 2012 in Uncategorized

It’s not often I give advice on this blog; I don’t rate myself as good enough at game to do so in the most part. Despite this I did see some posts recently on Reddit that got upvoted quite highly that lead ,e to think some people out there could actually benefit from my advice.

First there was ‘10, 5, 3, 1‘. This post was basically a guy saying it’s a numbers game (true to a certain extent). He takes 10 numbers. 5 respond, makes dates with 3, 1 actually shows up on a date. Many people agreed that that seemed about right. I thought that was fucking crazy.

Next there came ‘Never ask a girl for her number‘. This talks about something that seems to get mentioned all of the time on Reddit. People there seem to be in love with this concept of turning getting a girls number into an order, rather than a request. For example saying, “Give me your number” instead of, “Can I have your number?”. People all said this sounded bad ass, and even better, just handing a girl your phone without saying anything would make you appear to have god like confidence. Again, this is all bollocks in my opinion.

Number closes are useless

A girls phone number is a useless string of digits. The aim of each interaction is sex, not obtaining a string of useless digits. The reason we take a girls number is to take them out on a day2, after which (or maybe after a day3) we try and take them home to have sex with them. This means we shouldn’t be taking numbers, we should be taking the numbers of girls who want to see us again.

I think when guys first start out it’s ok just to try number closing any girl they’ve talked too. At first it can be nerve wracking taking a girl’s number, and guys need to get used to this so they don’t get nervous when doing it. Also it’s easy for newbies to underestimate how much a girl likes them, and so if he doesn’t try and close every set he’ll be missing out on girls who like him.

After a guy’s got used to taking numbers, I think he needs to be more discerning. He needs to be getting on well with a girl before he asks for her number, and the interaction must have a romantic undercurrent. Both these things come across as a certain flirty / positive vibe. I think of it as the “it’s on vibe”. If this isn’t there, taking the number is pointless. She’ll either flake or he’ll end up on a ‘friendly’ rather than romantic day2 with the girl.

Some people say just work the numbers game. Keep the interactions really short and go for volume. This may sometimes be a necessity in day game, but in club / bar game when you have more time I don’t think this is a good idea. The problem I have with it is that it means you never really learn how to help create the it’s on vibe (I say help create, it’s partly down to the girl so you can’t force it), so it’s hard to improve your game. Also, I’m a big believer that one of the most important, but also most overlooked, points in game is that guys should strive to maximize their time with interested, sexually available girls, and minimise their time with uninterested or not sexually available girls.

Look at it this way. Say a guy approaches 10 girls. I think for most guys maybe 1 girl out of those 10 is a reasonable prospect in terms of how interested and sexually available she is. Spending the same amount of time with all 10 girls is obviously stupid and inefficient.  It’s much better to spend a lot of time with that one girl, build up the most rapport possible so she’s less likely to flake on you due to lack of comfort, and to just eject from the other 9 sets quite rapidly. If you don’t do this and come away from those 10 sets with say, 5 numbers, you’re then going to put time and effort into chasing 4 dead ends. Then you get into red herring territory when you go onto PUA forums asking about better phone / text game to help with your 80% flake rate.

In summary, I’d say focus on the vibe of an interaction. How much you like her and how much the two of you get on, and make sure the sexually / romantic intent is there. When that it’s on vibe is in place a solid number close follows as surely as night follows day. If you have to use techniques which make it hard for a girl to reject a number close (for example saying, “Give me your number” instead of, “Can I have your number?”) you’re just asking for a flaky number. Pointless.

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Comments
  1. dumasworld says:

    You know you’ve done it right when the girl asks for your number. This seems to happen a lot these days, even from girls whose number’s I don’t even want.

  2. dumasworld says:

    i should have added, your final paragraph is key, especially the first line. This is how you can get the girl to initiate the exchange.

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