Why do I keep failing?

Posted: November 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

The title of this post may sound like I’m about to wallow in self pity, but that’s not the case.

As regular readers of this blog will be aware, I’ve been doing a lot of inner game style work lately, and I’m slowly but surely improving aspects of my life which I feel are lacking. I will continue with that, but it is a long term endeavour. I’m guessing it will take around a year for me to really reap the benefits of this in terms of picking up women. In the shorter term I’m looking for something else to boast my results. As always I am seeking to analyse what I’m currently doing, work out where I’m going wrong, and come up with an action plan to start fixing the problems.

When it comes to night game I really don’t feel I’m getting the results I should be. Interactions seem to go well with girls, I get a lot of kisses and often end up groping girls, but I’m not really fucking many of them. Especially the hot ones.

The problem is I’m not exactly sure what the problem is. I’m guessing (as many others may have from the above paragraph  that escalating too far in the club is one problem. I’ve actually thought this may be it for some time, but I just find kissing and groping attractive girls a hard habit to break for some reason. Beyond that I’m just not sure what to do to improve my outer game. So analysis is needed.

I read recently how Roosh, after each failed night out (failed meaning no lay), would work out his main reason for failure. Some examples of this reason were no girls were interested, couldn’t isolate a girl that was into him from her group ect. After a couple of months he would then total these reasons up and look at the ones with the highest percentages and work out how to fix them. I will do the same.

First I need and end goal for each night, as this will act as a barometer of success or failure. No bullshit, “I just want to go out and have fun”. My firm goal is an SNL. Not kisses or phone numbers, these come easily to me now. Each and every time I step into a club my aim is the SNL. I will try and work out the main reason for my failure on a given night and document it. I will guess some of the main reasons will be as follows:

  1. The girl just won’t come home with me that night. Many girls won’t.
  2. The logistics are crap (she’s from out of town or travelling with friends).
  3. A girl’s happy to spend time with me and kiss me, but when it comes to sex I’m wasting my time, she just wants some fun but not sex. It’s hard to screen these time wasters out but I’m, getting better at it.
  4. No girls are interested in me at all. A rarity these days, but it still happens.
  5. I don’t approach enough. Given I only have to do around 3 – 5 approaches to find a girl who’s somewhat interested in me, this too is a rarity these days.
  6. I give up too early. This does happen. Some nights a get a kiss and a number from a girl by midnight and a feel like I’m done for the night. I think staying till the end and keeping on approaching could well up my results.

I have already had a chance to try this out. On Friday night I K closed and number closed a girl who lived out of town and was travelling home with a friend. So reason 2, crappy logistics.

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Comments
  1. Jim Bacon says:

    Some quick (and maybe wrong) thoughts:

    1. You might not be physically attractive enough. But then you are going to the gym, so this should improve. If you are caught in a trade of between not being fat, and not being buff due to muscle loss to caloric restriction, maybe it is time to cheat a bit (but only you know where you are with your training).

    2. You may be too short for the girls. Try out a pair of decent 3.5″ lift shoes.

    It would be interesting to hear the results of this. Even if there is no effect at all.

    3. Crap logistics. Did you try out the hostel with a bar and dancefloor (St Christopher’s Tavern in London Bridge)?

  2. MikeG says:

    Well as far as SNL i’d say you’re logistics is your #1 enemy. Its one thing if you happened to have an apartment right in the middle of the bar district. But trying to bounce a girl from the club all the way back to your apartment with cab and all is such a pain in the ass at 1am. Other problem as you’re aware of is you’re escalating way too much in the club. You’re going to have a much better chance at setting off a red flag if you escalate too much.

    I’m curious why SNL is such a high priority though. It just seems like logistically you’re fighting an uphill battle. I mean by the time you’re going to be able to bounce a girl out of the club its going to be very late, then you’re going to have to get a cab(one thing if it a 5 min ride but if its in the 30 min range thats pretty damn far). It just seems like a lot of squeeze for the juice.

    Just my opinion but its seems like you’re time would be better spent focused on meeting girls for the intention of day 2s while at the club. If an SNL happens then great but I think long term you’re going to get a better payoff by not escalating as much and waiting to escalate more when you can actually fuck her(Day 2s). Escalate too hard at the club and she gets buyers remorse and you become the guy she made out with at the club. That becomes awkward for a girl a lot and you end up losing her. I’ve done this way too many times in the past and I just end up kissing a lot of girls with no sex.

  3. Socialkenny says:

    Haven’t posted again for the month, I’m wonder if you have been wallowing in pitty.

    Speaking of logistics, I’ve always said that the greatest obstacle to getting laid is poor logistics opposed to what the girl may believe about the guy.

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