Getting Emotional

Posted: December 29, 2012 in Uncategorized

Many of my posts recently have been focused on what many would call holistic game. That is improving my value to women by improving many different aspects of my life, rather than improving the ways I directly interact with women (outer game). While that’s great, over the past couple of months I have noticed an area of my outer game which is very weak, and I feel that improving this could massively improve my hit rate. Improving in most things in life usually brings diminishing returns over time. The advantage of this is that if you can identify an area in which you are very weak, massive gains can be seen from a fairly small amount of effort when you bring that area up from being weak to being reasonably competent. Therefore I see this weakness as a great opportunity.

The area I’m weakest in at the moment when it comes to outer game is building a strong emotional connection with women. I’ve got very good at being non needy, confident and going sexual fast. This sometimes works to get a girl into bed quickly. I also think on the other hand, I lose out on many girls who need longer with a guy to feel comfortable enough with him to have sex. Being able to build an emotional connection will allow me to both get this girls I wouldn’t usually get, and will also set me up well to have better relationships should I chose to go longer term with a girl.

My main stratagey for improving this is basically to sit a girl down, and tell her my honest views on the world, and life in general, as well as delving deep into her psyche, finding out her opinions on the same and finding out what motivates her. The main aim is there to be a feeling between the two of us that we both ‘get’ each other on and intellectual and emotional level. I’m going to have to do a lot of searching through seduction articles for help here (if anyone knows of any good resources for this, please let me know). One starting place for this will be Krauser’s blog, he seems to do this sort of thing well.

Speaking of things Krauser does well, he’s also very good at creating and maintaining a dominant frame with a girl, and this is something I’m lacking. When I say dominant in this context, I don’t really mean getting the girl to do what ever you want. I mean creating the dynamic where she is looking up to you, you are here clear leader emotionally. Only then can a woman really entrust herself, both body and mind, to you. As long as the dynamic isn’t abused by the guy it’s the best position to be in for a happy relationship. I’m aiming to get much better at this over the next few months.

Doing these things will be difficult at first. Not so much because they’re complicated, it’s all quite easy for a confident guy. It’s more that I’m not used to doing them, so I’ll have to force myself out of that habit. It’s always hard to change your ways and make a concious effort to modify your behaviour, as it requires a lot of self monitoring. There’s also the possibility of coming across as in-congruent when first doing it. I’ll need to come up with some sort of game plan for emotionally progressing with a girl. If I don’t have this in mind beforehand I just won’t do it.

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Comments
  1. ajdpua says:

    hey,

    I am not sure if I would reference Krauser here.

    I have been reading him from start – blog was good, but he become psycho about a year ago, IMO.
    It might be too much into screwing your own mind in order to screw others.

    Just my 2 cents…

  2. Jim Bacon says:

    This sounds a bit silly to be honest. I’m sure Krauser is banging loads of girls. Looking at the video of him speaking at the LSS bootcamp he seems to be a cool confident guy. Which is why he does well. Not because he is using some special technique to foster deep emotional connections.

    I know you’ve said that you are an inherent introvert and don’t like socializing… but that is like a skinny guy or fat guy saying that they don’t like exercise. Ok, but girls do like guys who are at least in shape. So the options are to be relatively sexless or make an exercise regime work. It’s the whole competition aspect again. You may not think a cool exciting social life is important. But almost all girls look for social leaders and like having fun socially, and your competitors will be trying to provide this.

    Sure girls would prefer a deep intelligent man to an unclutured yob, all else being equal. But your social standing is more important than this.

    I think this is just taking you away from focusing on what women want the most.

    Of course I am currently lying on my sickbed so this may all be KJing. Good luck in 2013.

    • betatopua says:

      I’ve already said that the main thrust for 2013 will be improving my social life, as I think you’re right, this is the main aspect I’m lacking. In addition to that I do think I need to work on creating more of an emotional connection with girls. It’s all starting to be a bit like chat for a little while then stick my tongue down their throat and my hand up their skirt. It can get results, but at the same time it’s lost me girls and makes me lazy on the conversational front.

  3. Jim Bacon says:

    @adjpua – I’d have to agree that Krauser’s blog has gone a bit downhill recently. I definitely wouldn’t say that he has gone ‘psycho’ though. More that he has succumbed to ‘Commercial PUA senility’. Basically in the early days his blog was about improving himself and telling tales of getting on birds, as a means to recruit men for his company’s bootcamps (nothing wrong with this). But now he is veering off from the original tales of shagging women and what basics men should be focusing on into ridiculously complicated and niche things that probably won’t help the average bloke score more women. See his recent post on ‘Reality Weaving Principals: Cocooning’.

    The reason he is doing this is he has to generate content for his blog, so that every time someone comes back there, there is a new article to read. And he can’t just keep banging on about the same old things (or could he?). Unfortunately although this serves Krauser well, it doesn’t serve the men he is trying to advise so well as much, as they are now getting a load of information that isn’t really practically applicable to there situation. Even if we assume that the reader is discerning on what advice he takes and what he considers irrelevant, there is still the problem of wading through all the irrelevant articles to find the actual advice.

    Not knocking Krauser overall. He is clearly a confident, cool guy who does well with the ladies and has inspired a few men with his blog.

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