Archive for November, 2013

Worst first date ever

Posted: November 21, 2013 in Uncategorized

This may be a bit rambling, but I’m semi drunk and this all happened just a few hours ago. I really need to get it off my chest so here’s how it goes.

Last week I meet an attractive women who’s around the same age as me in a bar. Open her, chat to her for 30 mins, kiss her, take her number. Tonight we went for drinks.

The first bar went fine. Plenty of jokes and rapport.

We go to a quite bar. At the bar there’s a group of 3 men. To in their 30s, one late 40s. She chats to them as she gets the drinks in for me and her as I’m sat at a table near by. When she comes back we talk, and conversation gets a bit too serious, and if I’m honest, dull. I go to the loo and realise I need to up the sexual stuff and the flirtation a bit.

I get another drink in and she tells me she doesn’t think we get on that well, but she finds me really attractive, but she doesn’t think I seem the type to settle down. She’s hinting that this could maybe be a just sex thing. The talk gets more flirtatious and there’s lots of kissing.

She goes to the bar to get another drink. She stays a bit longer than I think she should need to to get the drinks. Her body language with one of the other 30s guys seems very flirty. She’s talking to them a lot, but I can’t tell if that’s just how long it’s taking to be served or not.

She comes back, then I go to the loo. When she comes back the 40s guys is talking to her, whispering to her. He mumbles to me then leaves. She said he was asking for her number. I wasn’t that threatened be him. There’s no way she was ever going to shag a guy like, that but still I can’t help but think I should have said something to the guy. I don’t want a guy whispering stuff in her ear when I’m on fucking date with her.

We talk more and she says since she’s said we don’t get on I’ve really opened up and become more fun. She’s liking me now. There’s more kissing and touching. I’m sure I see her glance over at one of the 30s guys at the bar though.

She suddenly says she needs a glass of water, goes to the bar again. She talks to the 30s guy some more. He kisses her hand lothario style at one point, and gets his phone out. It looks like she’s saying no to the number close, but I can’t be sure.

She comes back to me shaking her head, saying the guy was hitting on her, but she’s not interested. I tell her if she really likes the guy, then I’ll just leave. I know some women will like me, but some will like other guys and that’s just life. She tells me that makes me more attracted to her and she kisses me passionately.

It gets late so we leave. Just as we’re walking out the door, without saying another word, she turns, goes back inside to talk to the guy. I think fuck at and decide to walk to the tube. Half way back, I think I want to give her a piece of my mind so turn back.

She comes out of the bar and is looking around at me. She comes close and is smiling, tries to kiss me. I stare at her blankly:

Me: That was very rude.

Her: I know, I’m sorry

Me: If you liked the guy, you could just end the date, and when I leave go back to him. There’s a way to handle shit, and you handled it the wrong way.

I walk away.

I’ve never been in a situation like this, and so I just didn’t know how to react. It all started off subtle at first, her just chatting at the bar. Before I knew it I realised they had just been flirting. It was hard to know when to draw a line. PUAs always talk about being non reactive, but I really needed to react to this, and failed to do so.

Now the dust has settled, I’ve realised there were multiple points where I should have drawn a line in the sand. I have decided for future reference that it’s better to over react than to not react at all in situations like this. Over reacting may lose you the girl, but not reacting will lose you your self respect. I feel like an ineffectual pussy for not stepping up and doing something and setting boundaries tonight, and as a result I’ve left my self respect in that bar.

I’m a little angry at the girl. I’m furious at myself.

I’m not sure how this will effect my game. My inner game is a little bruised, I must say. One thing I have decided is that no more Mr. Nice Guy when it comes to dating. Tyler Durdan (RSD) often describes himself as an ice pimp. While that sounds a little overblown, that’s what I’m going for now. I always wanted to avoid hurting girls in the past, and wouldn’t lie / make out I’m more serious about them than I am to get the lay. That ends now. I won’t try to hurt women, but as of now I’m just in it for the pussy, and if women get hurt on my path to obtain it, then so be it.