My two sticking points

Posted: May 9, 2014 in Uncategorized

After much introspection, and much banging my head against a brick wall, I think I have finally found the main sticking points that are standing in my way of banging hot women.

  1. I’m lazy
  2. I’m all push, no pull

Firstly, my laziness. I don’t mean lazy as in I won’t put the groundwork in in terms of cold approaching and Tindering for dates. I do that fine (with the exception of daygame, but that’s out of fear, not laziness). I’m not lazy in terms of generating leads, but more in terms of how I work those leads once I have them. Put bluntly I don’t put much effort into gaming girls who like me at least somewhat and who are sat in front of me.

This mainly applies to dates, but also to the comfort stage of club pick ups as well. On first dates I basically do this:

  1. Meet her, mild teasing.
  2. Talk about dull subjects with here like career, shared interests.
  3. Get progressively more drunk as the date progresses
  4. Escalate and go in for the kiss. I don’t care what signals she gives me. If I fancy her I always go for the kiss. I make the girl either reject me or kiss me, Gunwhitch style. If I’m rebuffed at first I try again later a couple of times.
  5. If the kiss happens, try and take her back to mine. If it doesn’t I mentally give up on the girl / situation.
  6. I rarely bother with second dates, I’m all about the first date lay.

This isn’t good game. This is get drunk and pull the trigger (I don’t need alcohol to escalate, getting drunk just passes the time).

So why do I do this? It comes down to too many easy lays. Last year I had a number of very quick, low effort night club pulls. This year the same thing with Tinder. For example I had 3 easy first date lays in 2 weeks. All of this has conditioned me to go for the quick, instant gratification. Just turn up, drink beer, put little effort into gaming her and expect a lay at the end of the night. The only thing I have going for me is I’m not basing my self esteem on how the date goes (non neediness), I lead, and I escalate. It’s very basic, aggressive don’t be beta game. This may keep working for a while on 6s and the occasional 7, but I’m not going to be fucking hot girls this way.

Secondly, I’m all push, no pull. For those of you that don’t know, a pull is when you act positively to show interest in a girl. For example, you giver her a compliment. A push is when you push her away by showing defiance / disinterest. An example would be a tease, or turning your body away from her. Game is a delicate balancing act between the push and the pull. All pull and you come off as another needy chode. All push and you come off as an asshole. Too much push will get you laid more than too much pull, as given the choice most girls choose the asshole over the chode, but it’s far from optimal.

My problem actually goes deeper than this. I’m all push, no pull. All steel, no velvet. All fire, no ice. I put up a strong gamey front and show no vulnerability to the girl. I completely lack soft dominance (protective, caring), focusing just on hard dominance (leadership, sexual aggression, boundaries). If you still don’t understand what the fuck I’m talking about, read The Badass Buddha post by Tom Torero. In a nutshell I’m good at going sexual, taking the piss out of girls, acting like a cunt and pushing for sex. Although girls find this exciting and many girls wanting a quick fuck drop their knickers quickly as a result, it won’t get me the girls who are more (physically) attractive than me. They will demand a strong man, but also a man that will let down the walls and not be afraid to connect with them, and look after them.

Anyway, I’m a bit drunk and so have no idea how to solve these problems at the moment. I’ll leave that as a topic of another post.

On the plus side I have no shagged graduates of both Oxford and Cambridge universities. I don’t know why, but for some reason this makes me feel proud.

  1. allen says:

    How old are your? I’m 30 and getting tired of the nightlife

  2. BodiPUA says:

    I suspect this may be a quality issue. Just up the quality until you start caring about the girl and you’ll feel some ‘pull’ start to creep in. The problem is if your dates are feeding from Tinder and nightgame there simply may not be high enough quality there at all… thus daygame….

  3. Sosuave says:

    Good read and I share the same problem with all push and no pull however with different results. Usually, the asshole card works BETTER for hotter chicks as they have guys pandering to them on the reg. It is few and far between they come across a guy like me who isn’t afraid to bust balls.

    The lesser attractive women need the pull as they have a major bitch shield up in anticipation of getting pumped and dumped or fucked around.

    I am more of a plate spinner / short term relationship guy – women typically eject in a fury of rage after they can’t get their desired pull or committment from me and then end up hating me when I am Indifferent to them walking.

    Jerk game is great for getting the lay and terrible for relationships – the same qualities which gets chicks wet for me are ultimately the reason they eject after not budging. Been a tough battle forcing myself to build rapport without feeling like a clingy needy faggot. Still trying to find the right balance with game and the red pill to transition into a LTR. I suppose it would help if I have a fuck in the first place.

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