Archive for July, 2014

Epic Fail

Posted: July 21, 2014 in Uncategorized

A while back a set a goal for the second quarter of 2014. This was part of my drive to achieve all of my 2014 goals. The goal to be completed by the end of June was to fuck a girl from daygame. As you may have gathered from the title of this post, I failed.

So why did I fail? I pretty much stuck to the sarging schedule I laid out, apart from the last month where I ran into some issues and tried some new things. The thing is I just so rarely open when I’m out sarging. I aimed to approach around 180 women, and ended up approaching only 60. From that I got a grand total of one instadate, a phone number, and 0 day2s. It’s almost laughably bad.

It all comes down to anxiety. I’ve always been quite a nervous person, and suffered from extreme AA for my first couple of years in nightgame. I though after conquering nightgame (at least to some extent), I’d face only a few teething troubles when starting daygame, then I’d soon be smashing hot young tourists I met wandering down Oxford Street with gleeful abandon. Turns out those few teething problems where a major road block, and as of yet, no tourists, young nor hot or otherwise, have been smashed.

The biggest blow to me isn’t that I haven’t achieved my goal. It’s that I now feel like game hasn’t given me the deep personality transformation I thought it had. I thought I had gained a lot of self esteem, but now I feel that I’ve just got more confident at approaching girls in clubs and escalating on dates. People talk about confidence like it’s the ultimate attribute a man can posses. In reality confidence is very situational. You feel confident within situations in which you are competent. Self esteem is the real goal. Self esteem is portable. It’s always with you and allows you to very quickly gain confidence in new situations. How to get it? Fuck knows.

At the moment I feel almost as if I’ve regressed to my pre game state of being. In an attempt to crack daygame I’ve started to remove everything I consider and impediment to it, everything that is part of my comfort zone, in order to spur me to action. So I don’t nightgame anymore. I don’t do online game. I’m slowly phasing out girls I’ve been seeing. When coupled with the fact I’m barely doing any daygame sets the result has been bad. I’m not seeing my wings any more. I’m not interacting with girls much. I’m spending more and more time alone. I’m very heavily introverted, so the result of this has been sinking into a state of heavily disinterested misanthropy. Even short conversations feel like a chore to me now. When coupled with my extreme AA, you can imagine how bad my vibe is when I actually do approach girls on the street. It’s no wonder I’ve got nothing out of my 60 sets.

With all of this I’m also very concious of the fact that as of last month I’m also a year older. At 32 I’m hardly past it yet, but unlike being 22 I don’t have the luxury of wasting any time. I need to crack this very soon or I miss my window.

I think cracking daygame is certainly possible for me. I’m just not sure I’m willing to spend 3 years on it. That was how long it took me to get decent in clubs, and right now it feels like I’ll have to do that all over again for daygame. If I don’t, I don’t think I’ll reach my full potential at game. I really feel that daygame will imbue me with some attributes I’m still missing, and push me over the threshold to the point where I’m fucking not just decent girls, but hot girls.

I’ve decided to do just one long day game session a week. I’ll spend up to 7 hours daygaming on either Saturday or Sunday. This gives me enough time to open lots of sets and take the poison pill.

Here’s a run down of progress on all of my other goals this year and how they’re progressing:

Sleep with 20 new girls

16 down, 4 to go. With over 5 months left of the year, this is coming along well.

Get my first day game lay

Still a long way to go. Having said that I think I had a possible SDL on my hands this week, but it went tits up. Going to force myself to open more sets and target 6s and some 7s to get the lay.
Fuck my first HB8+

I got a hand job in an allyway on a day 2 with an HB8 this week. This is the closet by far I have got to fucking a girl I’d classify as hot. She seemed really keen on a second date, and from her texts she was not far off asking for sex. Then she cancels our second date when I text her the morning of the date to confirm. Got a feeling I won’t see her again. She’s Muslim (Turkish), so maybe the escalation was all too much, too soon.
Save £2,500

Although I’ve only managed around £800 so far, that’s significant given that I’ve never saved money in my life before. In addition to this, I have joined my companies on call scheme. It means I’ll get an extra £500 gross every 6 weeks. After tax this will mean about £1800 by the end of the year. This cash is excess to my requirements and will easily be saved. This alone will allow me to hit this figure.
Visit Japan

Given up on this. It’s too incompatible with the point above. I went to Wales instead. Ha.
Get my front end development skills up to senior level

I’ve decided to focus more on Javascript development than front end in general. I think this goal was to vague, it’s hard to say when I’m done. So far I have done a moderate amount of work towards it, but I think I need to double my efforts on this in order to really count the goal as fulfilled. Ultimately, if my skills / example code is good enough to get the type of job I want early next year, then I’ve nailed this.