Archive for August, 2014

Your Labour Is Rarely Wasted

Posted: August 27, 2014 in Uncategorized

I’ve found my game on a bit of a down swing of late. I have got no new notches in the past 6 weeks, only a couple of hand jobs. The three previous lays before that weren’t proper ‘game’ lays. They were things like four somes set up by my fuck buddy and from going to a sex club. It must have been around 10 weeks since I last legitimately gamed a girl into my bed.

In addition to this I haven’t been doing much online game or night game. I’ve been focusing almost completely on (failing at) daygame. I decided it was time to get laid again so in the past couple of weeks I’ve been on some Tinder dates and gone out a couple of times in the night. My game truly sucked.

It’s not like I’ve reverted back to my pre game self, but I’m significantly worse at everything than I was last year. My general conversational and social skills are stifled. My teasing is virtually non existent. My body language is less dominant. I move meekly through the club as opposed to being the lion sauntering through the savanna. Girls lead the conversation, and I’m shy to make my intentions known and go after the girl I want, content to just do the social chatting thing to the group. That’s the biggest thing I lack. The r-selected vibe, or the killer instinct as Good Looking Loser puts it. That last one’s a biggie. It’s often all the makes the difference between going home with the girl or going home to wank off to pornhub. The long and short of it is that I’ve let girls I feel I should have fucked slip through my fingers.

This dip made me doubt myself and all of the progress I have made thus far. Is my inner game really so weak that I could have regressed to a chode within a couple of months? I then realized, that although my inner game certainly needs a lot of work, this is an outer game problem. I’m simply out of practise. The knife is blunt.

This got me thinking about everything I had been doing during the times I was doing really well at game. At all the labour and practise that went in to being good. I looked at what I was doing in times leading up to great success that I wasn’t doing now.

For example. This year I’ve massively cut back on my socialising. Last year I was going out a lot to meet new people by going to social networking events. This year I haven’t. I told myself I hadn’t met many long term friends out of it. I was an introvert and so shouldn’t socialise much. I decided my time was wasted at such events, and as such I stopped going. Also recently I have not been approaching much or going on many dates, due to the fact I’ve almost completely cut out the online and night game.

The result of all this is where I am now. It suddenly dawned on my just how important all that time ‘wasted’ at social networking events was. Although I could see no direct positive result from it, the results became conspicuous by their absence when I stopped going. I now lack social skills and charisma that was slowly, but surely being built by attending these events.

I quickly realised that I obviously need to start attending these events again, in order to keep the knife sharp. The revelation went beyond this though. I realised that there have been so many things I have done that have seen like wasted labour to me, but looking back they were all honing my skills and keeping the knife sharp.

Many of the things you’re doing now to improve your game may seem fruitless if you aren’t getting results. Although I don’t object to someone dropping what is useless in the pursuit of something that gets results, I think applied effort in an endeavour is rarely wasted, even when people see little in the way of immediate results. Here are some things that you may do at the moment to improve your game, but at the moment think they amount to wasted time:

Going on day2s that don’t lead to sex or future dates Worst case scenario is that this is a learning experience of how not to do a day2. Your failure can give you clues on how to go wrong. The date is a great time to practise many parts of game: story telling, frame control, teasing, escalation. It’s a bit like a sparing match you didn’t win; you still need to do it for the practise.

Opening sets and getting blown out a lot This is how my daygame was going until quite recently. I could get 5 insta blow outs in a row. It seemed pointless at times, but it taught me how not to open sets during the day and I improved.

Getting flaky numbers Very frustrating, but teaches you an important lesson. Numbers on their own are worthless. You need to learn how to cultivate a girls intent to meet you again. Again a learning experience. It also creates the habit of closing girls you talk to.

Going out socialising when you don’t feel like it This is a big one for introverts like myself. Socialising can leave us drained and feeling like we got nothing out of it. In reality it helps us practise our social skills and state control. If you go out socialising twice per week compared to once per month, over the course of a year the difference in your game will be huge.

Next time doing that extra set or going to that friends party feels useless, remember, your efforts won’t be wasted even if you don’t see an immediate reward.

My Daygame Sticking Points

Posted: August 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

My daygame progress is slow, but I have finally reached a milestone. As you may recall from previous posts my main problem thus far has been approach anxiety. I had only been opening a few sets a session because of it. Recently this has changed, thanks mainly to BodiPua who gave me some advice on how to overcome it. The advice given was much the same as can be found in his post ‘The Poison Pill’. The crux is that for a beginner the first few sets (at least) of any session are hell. They shatter your nerves and generally go badly. This means that if an approach session only consists of a few sets, the newbie will be left with only negative reference experiences of daygame. This means that one should do longer sessions, with at least around 10 sets. This gives enough time to get warmed up, and the volume is sufficient to allow the budding PUA to experience at least some good sets each session. He can then go away from the session with the positive reference experiences which will allow the gradual reduction of approach anxiety.

The approach I actually used was to give myself a time limit within which an approach must be performed. As soon as I’d arrive at Oxford Street a 20 minute countdown would begin. If I did not approach within that 20 minutes I had to turn around and go home. After my first approach the timer would start again, and so on, with a break once every 2 – 3 approaches. I did run out of time on at least a few occasions after doing either one or no approaches. There is a mental hack at work when this happens. You feel as though you haven’t given up and decided to go home, yet rather you were robbed of opportunities to approach by the clock. I find this triggers a fear of loss, which has always motivated me far more than the anticipation of success. If I only have a couple of minutes left on the clock within which to approach, I now feel a fear which drives me to do the approach so I can continue the session.

I have broken double figures in all of the sessions I have done in the past month. Despite this I’m still not regularly getting dates, or even numbers. In order to discover my current sticking points I once again purchased a one on one with Gaydame. The great thing about daygame which is harder to accomplish than in nightgame is that a coach can wire you up and listen in on your sets, and record them for latter review. This leads to very accurate feedback. So I got mic’d up and headed into the field with my tutor. The result is that I now have a list of things I need to work on. To understand this, you need a rough idea of what the street stop portion of the London Daygame Model consists of. Here it is:

  1. Approach and kill momentum.
  2. If she doesn’t hook from just your opening, assumption stack until something hooks her.
  3. Vibe (banter) with her. Be upbeat, with a little teasing thrown in. Make the conversation mostly about her.
  4. As she invests more into the interaction, you tone everything down. Talk less, monotone vocal expression, less facial expressions. She invests even more in an attempt to fill the void.
  5. Commit her to a date, take her number.

With this in mind, my coach identified that I need to work on the following:

  1. Stop talking over the girl. I have a bad habit of getting overly enthusiastic when a set goes well, and as I result I often cut a girl of mid sentence. This stops me attaining point 4 of the model (getting her to invest), and also means I actually end up doing more work than I need to.
  2. Not leaving pauses in conversation. A man with confidence leaves many pauses in conversation. Not pausing also gets in the way of lettin the girl invest.
  3. Talking about myself too much, not enough about her.
  4. When they start asking unsolicited questions about me she is starting to invest in the interaction, and I need to dial down my responses, all the way to the point where I’m giving one word answers. This flips the script, with her doing most of the investment in the interaction instead of me.
  5. Being too fact based with the conversation. The conversation should be a way to communicate emotionally with the girl (from my masculine core, I’m sure Krauser would say), rather than just being an exchange of factual information. As I listened back to one of my sets on an MP3 player, I realised the conversation could have been two girls talking. The conversation was plutonic, devoid of masculine polarity on my part. To solve this I should inflame the girl’s emotions. Create a role for her, put her in it and then play around with it, Imagine the conversation is a canvas, and paint and exciting caricature on it of how I think her life / personality must be. An example of this would be one that Krauser often gives of talking to a Siberian girl , “So you live in a little wooden cabin in the deserted Siberian mountains. Every morning you have to go out to collect firewood so you can stay warm at night, but you have to be careful not to end u breakfast for one of the many hungry bears who live in the area”.

I’ve put these points in order of how hard I believe they are to achieve. The 5th is certainly quite hard. It requires imagination and a lot of thinking on my feet, as well as strong verbal skills which are certainly not my forte. I’ll tackle the points in the order shown, easiest first. I will make it my purpose over the next couple of weeks to tackle points 1 and 2.