My Daygame Sticking Points

Posted: August 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

My daygame progress is slow, but I have finally reached a milestone. As you may recall from previous posts my main problem thus far has been approach anxiety. I had only been opening a few sets a session because of it. Recently this has changed, thanks mainly to BodiPua who gave me some advice on how to overcome it. The advice given was much the same as can be found in his post ‘The Poison Pill’. The crux is that for a beginner the first few sets (at least) of any session are hell. They shatter your nerves and generally go badly. This means that if an approach session only consists of a few sets, the newbie will be left with only negative reference experiences of daygame. This means that one should do longer sessions, with at least around 10 sets. This gives enough time to get warmed up, and the volume is sufficient to allow the budding PUA to experience at least some good sets each session. He can then go away from the session with the positive reference experiences which will allow the gradual reduction of approach anxiety.

The approach I actually used was to give myself a time limit within which an approach must be performed. As soon as I’d arrive at Oxford Street a 20 minute countdown would begin. If I did not approach within that 20 minutes I had to turn around and go home. After my first approach the timer would start again, and so on, with a break once every 2 – 3 approaches. I did run out of time on at least a few occasions after doing either one or no approaches. There is a mental hack at work when this happens. You feel as though you haven’t given up and decided to go home, yet rather you were robbed of opportunities to approach by the clock. I find this triggers a fear of loss, which has always motivated me far more than the anticipation of success. If I only have a couple of minutes left on the clock within which to approach, I now feel a fear which drives me to do the approach so I can continue the session.

I have broken double figures in all of the sessions I have done in the past month. Despite this I’m still not regularly getting dates, or even numbers. In order to discover my current sticking points I once again purchased a one on one with Gaydame. The great thing about daygame which is harder to accomplish than in nightgame is that a coach can wire you up and listen in on your sets, and record them for latter review. This leads to very accurate feedback. So I got mic’d up and headed into the field with my tutor. The result is that I now have a list of things I need to work on. To understand this, you need a rough idea of what the street stop portion of the London Daygame Model consists of. Here it is:

  1. Approach and kill momentum.
  2. If she doesn’t hook from just your opening, assumption stack until something hooks her.
  3. Vibe (banter) with her. Be upbeat, with a little teasing thrown in. Make the conversation mostly about her.
  4. As she invests more into the interaction, you tone everything down. Talk less, monotone vocal expression, less facial expressions. She invests even more in an attempt to fill the void.
  5. Commit her to a date, take her number.

With this in mind, my coach identified that I need to work on the following:

  1. Stop talking over the girl. I have a bad habit of getting overly enthusiastic when a set goes well, and as I result I often cut a girl of mid sentence. This stops me attaining point 4 of the model (getting her to invest), and also means I actually end up doing more work than I need to.
  2. Not leaving pauses in conversation. A man with confidence leaves many pauses in conversation. Not pausing also gets in the way of lettin the girl invest.
  3. Talking about myself too much, not enough about her.
  4. When they start asking unsolicited questions about me she is starting to invest in the interaction, and I need to dial down my responses, all the way to the point where I’m giving one word answers. This flips the script, with her doing most of the investment in the interaction instead of me.
  5. Being too fact based with the conversation. The conversation should be a way to communicate emotionally with the girl (from my masculine core, I’m sure Krauser would say), rather than just being an exchange of factual information. As I listened back to one of my sets on an MP3 player, I realised the conversation could have been two girls talking. The conversation was plutonic, devoid of masculine polarity on my part. To solve this I should inflame the girl’s emotions. Create a role for her, put her in it and then play around with it, Imagine the conversation is a canvas, and paint and exciting caricature on it of how I think her life / personality must be. An example of this would be one that Krauser often gives of talking to a Siberian girl , “So you live in a little wooden cabin in the deserted Siberian mountains. Every morning you have to go out to collect firewood so you can stay warm at night, but you have to be careful not to end u breakfast for one of the many hungry bears who live in the area”.

I’ve put these points in order of how hard I believe they are to achieve. The 5th is certainly quite hard. It requires imagination and a lot of thinking on my feet, as well as strong verbal skills which are certainly not my forte. I’ll tackle the points in the order shown, easiest first. I will make it my purpose over the next couple of weeks to tackle points 1 and 2.

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Comments
  1. krauserpua says:

    You’re on-track, imho. It takes a little time to slip into the groove but at some point in an interaction with a Maybe Girl all the nightgame work will start to pay off – calibration, escalation and so on.

  2. betatopua says:

    Thanks for the encouragement.

  3. I like the honesty in your posts, dude.

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