Posts Tagged ‘sarging’

Hitting the streets

Posted: February 12, 2011 in Uncategorized
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I’ve got a big blog post in the works explaining what I’ve been up to in the past 3 months (it involves lots of sex) and what I’ve learned in my first year in the game. Instead of waiting around to finish that (it’s going to be a bit of a behemoth) I decided to jump straight in with a field report.

Last week I opened a total of five sets. Although this doesn’t seem like many (it isn’t given the 8+ hours of field time it took to clock up that many approaches), for me it isn’t bad at all. I did direct day game off and on all throughout most of December and Janurary. I must have spent 40 hours in the field in that time, yet clocked up something like half a dozen approaches. That works out at around 6.5 hours per approach. Back then most sessions would end with me returning home without doing any sets.

In the past week I managed to hit a goal: make an approach within 30 mins of arriving at the sarging location. My other goal was to do 10 approaches in a week, I obviously fell short of that.

Here is a (from memory) transcript of the best of those 5 sets. It was with a French HB7 who I opened as she walked down a side street near Bond Street station.

Me: Excuse me… I want to say something to you, just quickly (I keep saying the just quickly bit by mistake. It’s a DLV as it implies that I think I’m taking up her valuable time. Bad frame).

She isn’t quite sure by the looks of her, and seems to be on the verge of walking off. I remain solidly rooted on the spot, a display of non neediness.

Me: I was walking down the street with my mate when I saw you go by. I thought you looked goregous, so I decided to come say hello.

HBFrench: (Looks stunned) What…

Me: I thought you looked pretty so I decided to come say hi.

She’s still not sure. I plough on.

Me: You look English but from that accent you clearly aren’t.
(Question disguised as a statement).

Her: I’m French

Me: Ok. You had me fooled you see. The face said English but the accent said something else. So what you doing in London.

Her: I live here.

Me: I guessed that, bit I mean what brought you to London.

She shrugs. She’s not all that responsive. It hasn’t hooked well but I decide to plough for practice.

Me: So you were living in France. Then one day you decided to move to London, England. What made you want to do that?

Her: I came here to study.

Me: I see you cam here to learn English.

Her: No, I’m studying graphic design (I now have the image in my mind that she was studying something to do with fashion.)

Me: That may be the subject your studying, but what I mean is, most the foreign students I meet in London may be studying a particular subject, but the main reason they came here was to learn English. Is that the same with you.

Her: No, it was just to study graphic design.

Me: Why come all the way to England to study that, instead of doing it in France? (I’m mildly challenging her, good)

Her: I wanted to do my MA.

Me: You can’t do an MA in graphic design in France?

Her: No.

Me: That’s odd. When I think of fashion I think of France. Or maybe, on second thoughts Italy. (I’m confusing graphic design with fashion design)

Her: London is for graphic design, France for fashion, and Italy for product design. (This is good, she’s starting to get a bit more chatty).

Me: So what’s product design then?

Her: Designing products… Furnature and things like that.

Me: So do you design cloathes then?

Her: No, graphic design.

Me: You’re confusing me now. I think you’re doing it on purpose (she laughs). What is it you design?

Her: Posters, book covers things like that.

Me: You seem like a very creative person.

Her: Thankyou.

Me: That’s the exact opposite of me. I’m very technical. I’ve always been drawn to technical things. I’m good at technical stuff, but can’t do arty stuff. Even Photoshop scares me. It’s good you’re creative. But we’re complete opposites. (I was babbling here, it was like I had a point to make, then I realised I didn’t).

She stares at me, with a slightly WTF look. I get nervous, make my excuses and eject.

This was my best daygame set recently. It wasn’t great by any means, but better than anything I could have done a month ago. I opened confidently, made eye contact (could have made more) and spoke slowly and clearly. It wasn’t going too badly until I started spewing out verbal diarrhea.

——————————————-
Stats since 1st February:
12 approaches
0 number closes
0 kiss closes
0 f closes

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I didn’t get any responses I sent to my wings about sarging tonight so looks like I’m solo. There were 3 weekend nights last month where I didn’t go out due to lack of wingmen, but I have decided I can’t hold back my progress by not getting out there and opening some sets just because I have to go solo.

Solo sarging fucking scares me. To the point where I’m nervous about the night out from the time I start getting ready at home. Not good for my state. I don’t know many people who will sarge solo. This shows it’s not just some random hangup I have about this.

I really think this fear of solo bargame is in part due to social conditioning. My anxiety about daygame is the same whether I’m solo or with wings. It literally makes zero difference. This is because walking around crowded streets and shopping areas during the day is considered normal. If it wasn’t people could never leave the house on their own. Bars are a different story. Except for maybe the occasional old man propping up the bar on his own, people never really go to bars on their own at night time. If they did, it would be socially acceptable, and so I’d probably feel a lot less anxious about going it solo.

I’m just going to have to stop being a pussy and get over it. Wish me luck tonight, dear reader.

I think the title says it all really. Over the past few months I have got reasonably confident at opening indirectly. I still wanted to open more sets though.

In busy areas of London there are so many more viable sets wandering around during the day than there are hanging out in bars during the evening. This lead me to believe that the best way to increase the number of sets I open each month would be to take up day game.

I did a bit of reading and it turns out most PUAs favour the direct approach during the day. This is because most day time targets are moving them, and direct approach is the most likely to stop them dead in their tracks so you can start running game. In addition to this, during the day girls are often on their way somewhere, so they don’t usually have more than a few minutes to stop and chat. You need to be quick and to the point. The direct approach is the best way to achieve this.

I assumed the direct approach in the day would be easier than going indirect at night. Opening a one set is less intimidating than having to game group, surely? Not having to deal with bouncers and drunk people would surely make everything easier?

My assumption was wrong, dear reader.

When I actually got out into the field, my AA was far worse during day game than in the bars at night. I think it’s a combination of things that made this the case:

1. Going direct is more scary than going indirect, because you pretty much have to tell the girl that you’re into her as soon as you open.

2. Day game generally requires that you have to stop a moving target. This is more daunting than just approaching a stationary group.

3. In bars the music tends to be so loud that only the set hears you’re opener. Without the cover of music, and in a busy public area you worry that people will overhear your approach when you do it during the day.

The first few times I went out to sarge during the day I couldn’t bring myself to open. I literally spent around 8 hours in total wondering around some of the busiest streets in the whole of London, and didn’t open once.

Like I said, it can be fucking terrifying.

I vowed that today would be different. I headed to Covent Garden after having made a contract with myself. This contract stated that I would do two warmups and then three proper approaches before I went home. I would not go home until I was done.

I was there for over 3 fucking hours.

I did it though. Next weekend I’m going back. I’m making a contract with myself again. This time it’s to open six sets in two hours. Since I can see myself opening less than six in the allotted time, and then giving up and going home, I have included a clause in the contract. If I fail to open six sets on two hours, I will have to open a total of ten sets before I go home.

Wish me luck.

Oxford Circus street game

Posted: February 3, 2010 in Uncategorized
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So I promised you all a post on my street game session (aka my epic street game fail), and here it is.

I meet a couple of new Wings at Oxford Circus on Thursday night.  For those of you who don’t know what Oxford Circus is, it’s basically a cross section of two major roads, one of which being Oxford Street which is one of the big 3 shopping streets in London’s West End. On a really good weekend up to 1 million people will pass through Oxford Circus. An area with that much foot traffic is obviously target rich, so let the game commence…

Oxford Circus

Oxford Circus - A target rich venue in London's West End

My two partners in crime for the night were BankBoy and Jester. Jester’s a short black guy in his 20’s who seemed to have boundless energy. BankBoy’s 30, and works (unsurprisingly) in a bank.

There are 4 tube station exits at each corner of the Oxford Circus intersection. Plenty of people hang around there so that’s where we decided to make our approaches.

Jester was unstoppable. He was a fucking opening machine. This was his first ever sarge and he opened like a pro. He just seemed to have boundless energy, and his approaches to women conveyed his sense of fun, while still making them feel comfortable. BankBoy was slightly more nervous, but still fun and made plenty of approaches. I was still Mr. Approach Anxiety, but still managed 5 approaches myself.

We were using the following openers:

  • Cigarette opener: Just asking for a light, then trying to start a conversation.
  • You look like a nice person, will you shelter me under your umbrella (it was raining)
  • You’re going to have to entertain me until my friends get here
  • I just saw you passing buy, and I had to stop you and tell you I really like you’re style (on a moving target)
  • To a girl on her mobile, mouthing the words, “Are you going to be long”. If she hangs up quickly, start by saying, “I was just passing and really wanted to say hi”

The two openers which seemed to work the best are the phone one and the “I really like your style one”. The phone one shocks them (in a good way) because they assume you have something really important to tell them, it shows confidence, and it’s quite a way removed from a ‘traditional’ chat up line. The style one obviously plays right to a girl’s ego, feeding it a massive dollop of ice cream. Girl’s get told they’re hot all the time, but complementing their fashion sense allows you to pay a compliment whilst not appearing to be like all the other guys that hit on them.

My approaches where as follows:

  • Can I get a light opener on a 6: Tried to chat to her about what she’d been up to that day, she was unresponsive
  • Can I get a light opener on a 9: Tried the old, “I didn’t think anyone still smoked anymore”. She completely blew me out.
  • “You’re going to have to entertain me till my friends get here” on a 7:  She looked absolutely shocked at first. Think rabbit in the headlights kind of look. I moved past this and just kept talking. Chatted to her for about five minutes. Her parents were from Lancashire but she was brought up in Germany, so her accent made her sound like the love child of a farm girl and a Gestapo officer, so I negged her about that a bit. Got some IOIs (she re initiated conversation a couple of times when it lagged and also gave me a cigarette. I must have been doing OK because Jester waved his phone at me from a distance to try and get me to number close. It turned out she was flying out to Germany the next day, so I didn’t bother. This approach was encouraging though.
  • Asked a 9 if I could shelter under her umbrella. She seemed weary but I insisted, and came off as really creepy. I think I pushed too hard and encroached too far into her personal space. We ended up chatting about mobile phone packages (yes, I am London’s greatest Lothario, dear reader). You know in the movies where the teenage guy is talking to the super hot girl and he gets tongue tied to great comic effect, and your shouting at the screen, “WTF are you doing, you loser?”? Well, this happened to me. I ended up asking her how big her package was, then saying, “It wasn’t meant to come out like that!”. Don’t ask. Epic fail.
  • Asked a tall 8 what she thought about shorter guys. Rabbit in the head lines look again. I supplicated by saying it doesn’t matter and she doesn’t need to answer. This is a mistake as it shows a weakness on my part, like I’m overly concerned about the fact I’ve taken her out of her comfort zone. She finally replied, “My mother told me never to trust a man with short legs”. I fired back with, “What happen’s if he’s got normal length legs but a short body?”. That made her laugh but I was ultimately unable to get a conversation going.

So not a complete disaster, but close. Should be doing the same thing this week, and hope to see some improvement. I’m still not really looking for a number close yet, just to get confident at opening.

Some things I learned from this:

  • Girls aren’t used to being approached on the street with quick, confident openers in the same way they are when they’re in a bar. If they look a bit surprised and are speechless when you open, don’t worry. It doesn’t mean you’ve screwed up, it just means you’ve surprised them. This is a good thing. People want excitement. Most people lead boring lives; a good opener on the street could well be the highlight of a girls day.
  • You are doing to have to do 90% of the talking if you want to get a conversation going. Bombarding her with questions seems needy and seems to put girls off. This is where various routines come in handy. These routines can be stacked to get a great conversation going. This is too advanced for me at the moment. I’m just focusing on overcoming my approach anxiety.
  • If you are too nervous when approaching and / or intrude into a girls personal space too much, you’re going to freak her out. Confidence will come with repeated exposure to approaching hot women.

They’ll be another post later in the week about some night game I did on Saturday. I meet some great people and found a great opener, I can’t wait to tell you all about it.