Posts Tagged ‘state’

When PUAs talk about state or “being in state” what they are referring too is being an a positive emotional state, where you are lost in the moment instead of thinking about what will happen next. Words and actions just flow from you, without consciously thinking about what will happen next. I don’t know the science behind this, but I’m going to take a guess. When you’re in state your actions are primarily controlled by the creative, right side of the brain, without being constantly checked over by the logical, left side of the brain to make sure what you’re doing is good, proper and logical. When a PUA says he is “inside his head too much”, the reverse is true. The left side of the brain logically mulls things over, resulting in him seeming stifled and in-congruent.

Despite what a major PUA company may tell you, I don’t think that being in state is the be all and end all of getting laid. While it isn’t a magic cure all solution for a guy’s problems with women, being in state can help tremendously whilst sarging.  When in state you give off an aura of cool fun, and you aren’t constantly second guessing yourself. You’re body language and vocal tonality reflect this, leading to more positive responses from women you approach. Approach anxiety is also greatly reduced, since anxiety is caused by a fear of future events, and when in state you’re more in the present, and therefore thinking ahead a lot less.

So state is a good thing to be in when out picking up women. How do we go about getting into (and staying in) state? Most PUAs get guys to do stupid things, thinking this will unstiffle them and get them into state. This may work, but you also end up looking like the guys in the video below.

If you don’t want to look like a complete fucking numpty by doing the river dance outside the club, I may have the solution for you. I get into state by acting upon my desires.

In the past I may see a girl I wanted to open in the club. Say it was early in the night, and the situation didn’t seem right to me, I wouldn’t open her. I would decide that for various reasons it probably wouldn’t go anywhere at that stage even if she liked me (situation would make it hard to escalate), and so I wouldn’t bother opening. So I had the desire to open her, and didn’t. I have now learned that if I open in situations like this, even if it does as I predicted fizzle out quite quickly, a feel a lot better. It helps to get me into state.

There are also situations too, where doing the ‘wrong’ thing can help you get into state because you are acting on your desires. For example I see a girl wiggling her ass on the dance floor. I know that going and grinding on her from behind is the wrong move (it’s very low percentage), but these days I do it any way, because that is my desire so I act on it.

With this way of thinking, it doesn’t matter if you don’t see a girl you like for quite a time in the club. There’s no need to open when you haven’t seen a girl who doesn’t evoke in you the honest desire to go and meet her. When you will lose state is when you see a girl you want to open and don’t. This happened to me the other night. I got in quite a good state early, but then bottled approaching a couple of girls in a row, because they were both pouty 9s who I envisioned shooting be down painfully. I realised I was starting to loose state and feel like a loser because of this. So, the next time  I saw a girl who I wanted to open I went in straight away. It was a rejection (there were a lot of ‘lesbians’ at the club that night, apparently…), but it put be back into state.

It’s not just with approaching either. Once you’ve opened, if you get the urge to escalate / number close / do an in venue bounce and don’t, you will again lose state. You didn’t act on your desires.

Opening girls who you aren’t drawn to will help your state slightly, but not as much as opening the ones you really like. This is why this concept is slightly different to the idea of warm up sets.

Why does acting on your desires have this effect? I think it’s a self image thing. Acting on your desires makes you feel strong and in control of your own destiny. Failing to do so makes you feel week, and you get the sensation of not being good enough, of being a failure.

Give it a try. Next time you’re out in the club, listen to your inner masculine voice. The one that’s your DNA speaking out to you in order to fulfil it’s purpose of replication. The one that comes as a result of being the latest in a line of men who have successfully reproduced which stretches back over 100,000 years.