2014 Year in Review

In this, my last ever post to this site, I’m going to review 2014 and see how I measured up to my goals.

Here’s a list of my 2014 goals and a brief review of whether I achieved them or not.

1. Sleep with 20 new girls – Success
2. Get my first day game lay – Success
3. Fuck my first HB8+ – Failure
4. Save £2,500 – Success
5. Visit Japan – Failure
6. Get my front end development skills up to senior level – Success

So now a bit more detail.

Sleep with 20 new girls

I really wanted to experience a high volume of hitting on girls and getting lays to really solidify my self image as that of a ladies man. I actually slept with 22 new women this year. My lifetime lay count is now 67. This means I slept with 1/3rd of all women I’ve ever slept with in the past 12 months. Quite an achievement.

Sleeping with this many women in a year (almost one every other week) has some interesting effects. It removes the mystique around sex for one. It stops it being so special. I think many men sex is something that girls give to the odd few guys they meet who they think are very special. This is in contrast to someone like me who views casual sex as something which is available in abundance, so long as you’re willing to pursue it in a direct manner. I slept with so many women this year that when I tried to compile a list of all 22 girls yesterday (based on some form on identifier, rather than name), I could only account for 19 of them. I know the count is 22 because I kept a running total. This means I’ve slept with 3 women this year and have completely forgotten about it. I literally have no conscious memories of having intercourse with these 3 girls. Sex has become anonymous and impersonal to me now. An event no more noteworthy than watching a decent film, or having a nice meal.

I think the result of this is that although I’m much more open to the idea that it’s fairly easy to bed women, the pair bonding circuitry in my brain has been fried. I think that there is some mechanism whereby sex helps couples pair bond and then fall in love. That chemical reaction has fired so many times in my brain with so many women this year that I think I’ve built up a tolerance to it. Much the same as someone builds up a tolerance to drugs by excessive use. I think this will make it hard for me to ever fall in love. I tire of a woman really quickly now.

Despite my success in terms of number of notches, I don’t think I’ve really improved my game at all this year. The only thing that changed and allowed the high notch count was tooling. I started using Tinder. This tool enabled me to get the volume so high, as it’s a very time efficient way to meet girls. I would recommend Tinder for young guys who are at least decent looking and who want to get their numbers up. Having said this, Tinder has disadvantages to the aspiring player. The main one is it’s negative effect on game skill. You’re never going to get really good at game using Tinder. You’ll only ever end up on dates with girls who are already attracted to you based on looks alone. This means that you will never get your game to the level where it is strong enough to allow you to bed girls better looking than you. This is a big thing for me.

All in all 2/3rds of my lays this year were from online ‘game’. Although this is somewhat disappointing, by god I enjoyed all the pussy.

In terms of average quality (in terms of looks) of the girls, I’d say it was slightly up from last year. This was mainly due to the fact that the lower end of my scale went up, rather than the upper end of my scale going up. In short, the ugliest girls I slept with this year were better looking than the ugliest girls I slept with last year. The best looking girls I slept with were no better than last year. I’d say my range this year was quite tight. HB6 – HB7.5.

Get my first day game lay

This is the one I’m really proud of. I’ve been trying to crack day game on and off for 5 years now. I find it both terrifying and difficult. To directly approach a random girl who doesn’t know you, in broad day light, and strike up a short conversation which is compelling enough for her to want to see you again just isn’t easy. To any guys struggling with this and wondering if it’s there’s something wrong with them – no. It’s just really hard. I’ve seen people like Krauser and Torero come under fire by people saying that their stats aren’t that impressive. This is bollocks. Any guy who’s average looking (or worse) and has consistently attempted to bang hot girls from day game will know that these guys’ stats point to a very high level of skill indeed.

I hope to massively build upon this first success in 2015. Also anyone who says you can’t bang English girls from day game… the girl in question was English.

Fuck my first HB8+

This was supposed to be my final goal of 2014. The truth is that around early October I hit my 20 lays and my daygame lay. I expended so much mental and emotional energy as well as time on these thing. The rest of the year was freezing cold, I was ill multiple times, my sex drive was lower than it’s ever been, and my father died suddenly. Given all this I just didn’t have the drive or motivation to achieve such a difficult goal.

Save £2,500

Although this is not a lot of money and I’m now in the process of blowing some of it now January’s here, this was an important milestone for me. I’ve always been bad with money and have never before been able to spend less money than I earn over the course of the year. That’s what made this so important. Being disciplined enough to spend less than I earn. This will be a big thing for me as it will be a prerequisite for me if I am to achieve the lifestyle I want in the future.

Visit Japan

I gave up on this one early on, as it was at such odds with my saving target.

Get my front end development skills up to senior level

I modified this to focus on Javascript rather than front end development as a whole. Near the beginning of the year a tried completing a set of interview questions for a Javascript developer role. The questions were considered hard. I found them so hard that I couldn’t even understand some of the questions. Needless to say I didn’t do well with them. I forgot about these questions then came across them again last month. This time I demolished them. This will set me up well for achieving future lifestyle / career goals.

All good things…

So that’s it for 2014 and also for this blog. I’ll leave it online but I won’t be posting to it anymore. The stated aim of this blog was to document my journey from Beta to PUA. From someone who is bad with women to someone who is good with them. Given that I’ve slept with 60 women over this blog’s 5 year lifespan, I think I have arrived at my desired destination.

Although improving my game will remain a big part of my life for probably another 5 years, I’ll be focusing on many other aspects of my life as well. Coming into the manosphere and being exposed to the bitter sweet red pill has not just changed the way I view women. It has changed my entire world view. As a result, over the coming years I am planning to make a complete change to the entire trajectory of my life. This is beyond the scope of this blog, but you are all welcome to follow my ongoing adventures at my new blog sigmalifestyle.com. There I will be blogging about everything that I view as important to men in the modern western world, not just getting laid. This will include relationships, having kids, lifestyle, wealth generation, politics and more. Many men in the western world are still following the same rules that their fathers / grandfathers did back in the 1950s. Society has changed since then and playing by the same rules will be damaging to men. I will be rejecting the life choices made by my father and his father, and playing by my own set of rules. My new blog will document how I, as a western male, seek to become a winner in the new social landscape.

My Final Goal Of The Year

Previously I wrote about how I had completed my goal to lay a girl from daygame. We are now in the final quarter of 2014 and as the year nears it’s end, it’s time to set my final goal. Based upon my goals for the year the next one is to sleep with a girl I’d consider an 8. I’ve come close to this before. I’ve kclosed 8s and even got a hand job from one. I’ve slept with girls almost attractive enough to be 8s, but not quite. So now comes the time to slide my cock inside a girl who I can legitimately call hot.

Some of you may think it’s silly to base a goal on some numerical ranking I’ve assigned a girl in my head. To me this isn’t the case. I’ve now got to the point where I have had, and believe I can continue to get a high volume of sexual partners. This year so far I’ve banged 20 new girls, and now have a lifetime lay count of 65. The average man has slept with less than 10 women, and most people consider 30 to be a high number. When I first set out on my PUA adventure, I will admit there was a lot of ego in my motivations. I wanted a lay count high enough such that I didn’t feel like a sexual failure. That’s been reached. I’m not in it for the numbers anymore. I’m no longer happy fucking average girls. Yes, they scratch an itch, but it’s not enough anymore. I yearn for the truly hot girls. The ‘8’ part is just a number that represents this yearning for the purposes of setting a goal. Going for hotter girls is the only logical next step in my evolution as a womaniser.

So, how to achieve this goal? I’ve set myself the subgoal of opening 10 girls who are 8+ per week. This can be either day or nightgame. That should mean roughly 100 buy the end of the year. This may just be enough to help me fulfill my goal.

There’s a problem though. My motivation for chasing women has nosedived. I’ve got a regular on the go and a few 50 /50 prospects (none of which are 8s. One girl is close, so close I counted her as an 8 upon opening, but downgraded to a 7 during our first date). I’ve done a lot of fucking this year. I’ve opened a lot of sets in daygame. I just can’t bring myself to keep pushing forward. I’m missing sarging sessions in order to stay home. Here I read, work on new career skills, blog and play Clash of Clans. Part of me wants to fuck the hot girls, but not enough to put in the work I know will be required.

I’ve come to realise that I’m just suffering from a bit of game induced catabolism. The emotional drain a cyclical nature of all the approaches, flakes and outright rejections has worn me down. It’s time for some R & R. I’m going to spend the next couple of weeks working on other things. No approaches. I’m going to finish reading the two books I’ve got on the go, and then start a third. I’ll finish the two pieces of software I’ve been working on for my portfolio. Be strict on, and finish my current fat loss diet. Start planing next years goals. If I get through all of that with time to spare I’ll starting writing out notes on all of Krauser’s Mastery book.

When all of that’s done they’ll be 8 weeks left of the year and I’ll be raring to go. I like a challenge.

First They Came…

First they came for the academics, and I did not speak out – because I was not an academic.

Then they came for the politicians, and I did not speak out – because I was not a politician.

Then they came for the office workers, and I did not speak out – because I was not an office worker.

Then they came for the gamers, and surprisingly that turned out to be a big fucking mistake.

Who would have thought that, out of all of society it would be die hard computer game nerds who drew a line in the sand against the feminists. Thinking about it though it makes sense. One of feminism’s main compliance tactics is the use of shaming. Shaming will only give you leverage if your opponent has something to lose by being shamed. That something is social position. When you’re a bit of an outcast, detached from society, you don’t have much of a position to lose. This is why the mainstream leftist media’s battle cry of, “You’re all misogynists!”, didn’t work on the gamers.

Daygame Is The Only Pure Form Of Game

Daygame is the one pure form of game. It’s much like how veteran poker players consider no limit Texas Hold’em to be the only pure form of poker. Why do I think this? Let’s look at other types of game, and I’ll tell you why I don’t consider the to be as pure as daygame.

First there’s social circle game. I know many cold approach advocates consider this ‘cheating’, but getting laid is getting laid. If you have a social circle good enough to provide you with a regular stream of hot young girls, that’s great. Keep milking it. Personally I think it’s really unlikely to have a social circle that is so active that enough new girls enter it that you can reach a really good volume of new lays a year. Lets say you want to fuck 20 new women a year. Even if 1 in 5 hot women that you are introduced to socially end up fucking you, that would mean meeting 100 new hot women socially in a year. If as many as 1 in 3 of the new women you meet socially in a year are hot, that means you’d need to meet 300 women a year to get your bangs in. That might not seem like a lot. In cold approach terms it isn’t, but how many people have social circles that introduce them to 300+ women a year?

I actually think the idea of the social circle player is a bit of a myth. There’s this idea that’s quite common, of a guy who’s very social and bangs women from his social circle left right and center. Although men like this exist to some extent, bare in mind that most people consider these guys players because they’ve slept with 30 women by the time they’ve hit their early 30s. This means only a few notches a year, which in my mind doesn’t make them much of a player. I actually have it from a reliable source that many of the very vocal guys on one of the UKs largest forums who deny game exists and tell men to pursue social circles to get women only have these sorts of results. When you combine this knowledge with the fact that social circle game requires you to hunt purely within a set social circle, outside of which you may flounder, you can see why I don’t consider this a pure form of game.

Next there is online game. I’ve done a lot of this myself. Online game can work well for men for two reasons. No approaching is required, and filtering. By filtering I mean that guys only end up on dates (or on Tinder with matches) with girls who are already interested in them due to their looks. This means that an average guy can spam girls with 100 low effort messages in one night, and as a result have 3 dates lined up for the next week. Since all the dates are with girls who are already interested in his looks, he only has to put in minimal game to turn 1 to 2 of those dates into lays. This may sound good. In a way it is, as it allows an average guy to rack up a high lay count without ever having to overcome AA. The trouble with this is that the best swords are forged in the hottest fires. The online PUA only ever practices his game against yes girls. Girls who are physically better looking than you will rarely, if ever be yes girls. They’ll be maybe girls or no girls. The lack of practise with low girls will produce a PUA that is incapable of getting girls who are better looking than him (this is where I’m at now). So this is why online game is not pure game. It does not enable a man to regularly get girls who are better looking than him. This may be fine for really good looking guys. If a guy is a high 8 or better, I’d really recommend he goes on a Tinder rampage. His cock will thank him for it. Even this has a fairly short life span. A guy with good looks will age and lose his looks, and will not have the game to compensate if he’s only ever gamed online. Even if his looks remain for many years, he’ll need to lie about his age. I’ve noticed the quality of my matches nosedive since I turned 32, without any of my pictures changing. It seems girls online filter heavily on age, as it’s one of the few parameters available to them.

Now we come to club / bar game. Real cold approach. This is getting close to pure game now. You actually have to walk up to a girl you don’t know and get her to have sex with you in the near future. It’s hard. You need great non verbals. A thick skin to handle all of the swift rejections. Social skills. Understanding of female psychology. The tenacity to see it though from open to isolation to  extraction to close all at 2am in the morning after you’ve had a few drinks and are completely knackered. There is a skill to it. In my mind it’s not pure game for two reasons.

First is the girls mental state. She’s probably slightly drunk and her buying temperature will likely be spiking due to being in a highly stimulating environment. This can help you, but at the same time it takes a lot of finesse out of the game. Imagine trying to craft an amazing role play to draw her emotionally into your world. Or attempting to parry a well timed shit test with nothing but a change in your vocal tonality. All while the music in the  club is almost deafening and the girl is a bit drunk and really hyper. It’s not the best environment for it. Think of it like daygame being two MMA masters going at it in the ring with highly skilled moves. In comparison daygame is like one of those big bar room brawls you see in old school westerns. It’s too chaotic for highly skilled moves; you just need to get stuck in with some haymakers or smash a bottle over someone’s head to win.

There’s also the looks factor in clubs. Given how easy it is for a girl to reject you in a club, combined with how many times a girl will get approached in a club, it’s usual that a girl won’t even give a guy a chance if he isn’t at least as good looking as her. I do think it’s possible for the better PUAs to get girls who are better looking than them in a club, but it’s low percentage. The norm is for her to instantly reject before you have a chance to show your full value via game.

Finally we come to daygame. Daygame is the one true, pure form of game because it is most effective and versatile value delivery system available to the average man. It’s versatility staems from you needing nothing but yourself. You don’t need a club, a social circle or an ecosystem. It is practiced in any environment that isn’t a club / bar: on the street, in the supermarket, in a women’s clothes shop, on the train, in a cafe. Daygame stops game being this thing you do online or in clubs and opens the whole world up to you as a sarging opportunity. It is truly portable, as people like Krauser and Torero prove when they do two week daygame trips to foreign cities that result in a slew of lays.

In terms of effectiveness, I think daygame provides the best value delivery system out there. This is because daygame usually involves you approaching a single girl in an environment in which she is not usually accustomed to being approached. This often results in her giving you enough time to run game on her, when in other situations she might not give you this opportunity (online, in clubs). The fact that you have the girl on her own in an environment where you can talk means that you can use verbal game to full effect, without competing with her friends or loud background music. It is in the daytime that she will pick up on all the subtleties of your game, both verbal and non verbal. This is a double edged sword. This is because all of the positive stuff you do will be noticed, but so will all your fuck ups. This can make daygame harder to learn, and may well mean that beginners / intermediates get worse results than they would in a club or online. On the flip side a more advanced practitioners game will yield him superior results in the daytime as compared to in a club or online. This all means that many more guys struggle with daygame than with nightgame, but the daygamers who make it seem to end up with the bigger positive disparity in looks between themselves and the girls they lay. The bottom line is that I believe that daygame will net the average man the hottest girls he has the potential to get.

As a little bonus, daygame offers the best opportunities for instruction. It lends itself far better to video infields with high quality audio and coaching where the coach can both watch and listen in on your set. These things mean that daygamers are in a much better position to both learn from others, and to have their mistakes pointed out to them by a pro. This will help enable the daygamer to reach his full potential, and not get stuck running sets in a suboptimal way.

Epic Win

At the beginning of the year I outlined my goals for 2014. I then broke these goals into sub goals, with one sub goal to be completed each quarter of the year. My first sub goal of the year was to sleep with 7 new women. This would help me to achieve my goal of getting 20 new notches this year. I succeeded in this goal. So for the second quarter of the year I wanted to get my first daygame lay. I failed in this goal. As a result I rolled this goal over to quarter 3. This put me a little behind.

Getting my first daygame lay is very important to me for a few reasons.

It’s been a long time since I opened my first ever daygame set. This happened around the time I first started writing this blog, so almost 5 years ago. Although I’ve never consistently done day game during those 5 years, that’s still a long time to go without results. This made me want it really badly. A lot of effort with no achievement does not make for a happy man. You can say, “you have the right to the action, not the outcome” all you want, but we still like to win.

From an almost geeky point of view, I consider daygame the one true form of game. It’s pure game (I’ll discuss why in an upcoming). As such I belive its the only form of game that will allow me to reach my full potential in terms of the quality (attractiveness) of women I can get). This is probably the biggest reason I want to crack daygame.

One thought I love about daygame is it can be practised almost anywhere, at any time, and can be done spontaneously. That hot girl you saw waiting on the District line platform who you wished you could meet? Daygame gives you the tools to meet her and fuck her. No nightclub or Tinder required.

Lastly I want to get good at daygame because I foresee that I probably won’t want to go to nightclubs as much when I’m older. In addition to this, as I’ve hit 32 I’ve noticed a sharp decrease in results from online game. I think daygame is definitely the best tool for me as I age.

As you may have guessed from the title of the post, at the end of last month I got my first daygame lay. In doing so I completed that goal for the year, and the goal of sleeping with 20 new women this year. September 2014 was a good month. A fucking vintage.

Onwards and upwards. One mountain may have been climbed, but another looms just over the horizon. In my next post I set out my goal for the final part of 2014.

 

At What Age Does A Man’s Sexual Market Value Peak?

As I get older I am starting to look to the future. When I do a question, or maybe a concern, comes to mind. What is the expiration date on game?

By expiration date I mean the approximate age at which a man can no longer get women in their sexual prime through game alone (so excluding the value adds of wealth and fame). To answer this question you need to work out what a man’s sexual market value peak is. From there his ability to game prime SMV women into bed will decrease, and not too long after this peak he will stop being able to do this altogether. I think I’ve mainly started thinking about this because since turning 32 I’ve found it almost impossible to match with decent mid 20s girls on Tinder. It seems many of them must have their upper age limit set at 31 (I’m going to cheat next year by saying I’m 28 on my profile. Fuck you, Tinder).

When thinking about this I remembered a graph of male and females SMV by age on The Rationale Male (full article). I’m now going to talk through the graph. I’ll compare the author’s view on the matter with both my own opinions, and also the opinions which are commonly held within modern society in general.

First we have female SMV. The author has women’s SMV peaking at 23, and shows women being very desirable from age 15 through to age 30. It shows women retaining a modicum of attractiveness until their mid thirties, after which time they sink into such a deep sexual abyss that they may as well be asexual.

This goes against the modern social narrative. This narrative is wrong. Social ‘scientists’ and feminists may lie about this, but my boner and the boners of other men point to the truth. The Rationale Male is correct in this. As much as modern society thinks it’s monstrous to suggest that girls start becoming sexual attractive a 15, this is the truth. They’ve usually got decent breasts by that age, and their hips are starting to widen to give the waist : hip ratio that men are programmed to find attractive. I still remember bumping into my next door neighbours daughter and her friend in a club when I was 21 and they were 15. They looked very attractive and got a lot of attention from guys in their late 20s and 30s. Despite this I can still see that girls aren’t at their sexual peak yet in their late teens. Some of them still have childlike faces, can be plagued with acne, and sometimes their bodies aren’t yet fully developed into a womanly shape.

The graph shows that women hit their SMV peak at 23. I’d agree with this. In their early 20s women are fully developed, but yet show no negative signs of ageing. The collagen in their skin is still intact. This keeps them pert, even if they’re carrying a little excess fat. They have clear, wrinkle free skin soft, thick hair and bright eyes. All the features which signal fertility to men. Although mainstream society does allow that women are sexually attractive at this age (although I can see a time when many men my be shamed for finding college age girls attractive), it mistakenly claims they don’t peak at this age.

The mainstream media seems to constantly push the idea that women peak in their 30s. If you were able to compile a list of the most wanked too women on the planet you would quickly see this is not the case. The ugly truth of the matter is that women start to visibly decline in their late 20s. By her early 30s most women are at best a 6. I’ve dated and even fucked a few women of this age. Being very attractive at this age is the exception, not the rule. I’ve often heard guys say that their are loads of very attractive women in their 30s. It wouldn’t surprise me if many of these guys actually mistake women in the 27 – 29 age range for being in their 30s. The norm is that women age really badly in their 30s. The wall hits them hard. By their 40s it’s rare that a women will have any significant remaining value on the sexual market. A lot for red pill guys celebrate this fact. I mourn it as a tragedy. If women were hot right through into their 40s, the percentage of women on the market who are sexually attractive would be far higher. For any guy with decent game this would be a hugely positive thing.

The tragedy of ageing

Then there’s the male part of the graph. This is where I disagree with the Rational Male. The graph shows a man’s value as quite low when he’s in his teens, with a rapid rise when the early 20s are reached. This bit I agree with. In their teens most boys look like… well boys. Unlike girls who look like they’re ready to reproduce at this age, boys often don’t look masculine enough for this. You’ll often hear a girl says she wants a man not a boy. You can understand after hearing this that a lad who can’t yet grow facial hair won’t be physically masculine enough for a girl yet. When you add to this that most guys of this age are terrified of girls, you can easily see that a teenage boy has low sexual market value.

The graph shows a steady rise throughout the 20s until it starts to get close to vertical at 30. The peak for men is shown at 38, and a man is shown to hold a very high SMV all the way to 45 when it drops off, before hitting the wall at around 50. This is where I disagree. I think most people in the game related mansophere over value social status and undervalue looks when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. Take a moderately successful man who is 29 years old. He’s a 8/10 in looks at this point. Throughout his 30s and forties he climbs the career ladder, maybe even making C – level exec in his early to mid 40s. At this point he has far higher social status, but he’s now a 5 or 6 in terms of looks, depending on how well he’s looked after himself over the years. Based on the graph the older version of this man in his early 40s can significantly out pull his 29 year old self. If he was sleeping with 8s when he was 29, age 43 he should be banging 10s. His SMV has almost doubled. Although I have no experience of being a 29 year old guy, I can plainly see this is not true. The only way this would happen is if the guy was really physically out of shape and lacking in game at 29, and he spends hos 30s learning game and getting in killer shape.

I think the graph is wishful thinking for men. Although at 38, the graph’s peak for a man, men usually have a good a balance of worldly success and some remaining youth as their ever going to have, it’s just too old for the peak. For this to be a man’s peak 23 year old girls would have to be regularly banging 38 year old guys. This does happen (ask Krauser!), but it’s the exception, not the rule. Many girls this age would consider 38 to be a bit old. Most guys this age have a beer belly and look like someone’s dad. I’m not saying this can’t be overcome with game. What I am saying is that a guy of 29 with good game will out pull a 38 year old guy with good game.

In my mind a man’s peak is in his late 20s to early 30s. At this age he’ll be old enough to be confident and worldly. He’ll have started to make something of himself career wise (or if he hasn’t be probably never will). He should have a moderate amount of money to spend. He’ll still have youthful good looks. I really wish the graph was correct. It would mean my best years are yet to come. I’ll experience a fast rise in attractiveness over the next 6 years, and then have another 6 years of fairly high value after that. This would mean over a decade of being able to do better with women than I am now. This is a nice thought, but I think it’s just wishful thinking dreamed up by the manosphere. My gut tells me that my best years are behind me.

Why Is Game So Hard

In my last post I talked about what type of success rates PUAs are actually achieving. There’s more I wanted to say on the topics of success rates, but I didn’t think it really fit into the previous article. I will now put down in words my remaining thoughts on this topic.

When most guys hear the (truthful) success rates of ‘professional’ PUAs who cold approach girls more attractive than them, they are often shocked at how low they seem. They imagined all these guys were, at the very least, getting success rates of 10 : 1 (10 approaches to get 1 lay). I honestly believe that this is very far off the mark. This belief stems from spending 5 years approaching girls, watching pickup videos by ‘pro’ PUAs and meeting / sarging with PUAs of all abilities ranging from socially retarded noobs, through average guys with a bit of game, up to guys who make a living teaching game. There are guys out there who get laid, alot. The big but that follows this is that they have to approach a hell of a lot of girls to achieve this.

I’ve heard many guys online saying they have a 20% success rate, or they know a guy who’s amazing at game that gets virtually every girl. I’ve never seen any evidence of this. I’m not saying it’s true, but I think it’s highly unlikely if the guy is fucking hotter girls and is approaching cold.

Take the video below for example.

It looks amazing, right? Tyler from RSD kcloses a load of girls, acts all cocky with them, picks them up off the ground, makes really bold approaches and is seen leaving venues with them, apparently for sex. Surely, this is proof positive that guys can have a high success rate when picking up girls who are hotter than them? No. What you have to bear in mind is that this is basically a highlight reel taken from over a year’s worth of filming. It’s probably some of the best parts of 100 nights out sarging. When coupled with the fact that he probably didn’t fuck all of the girls shown on the video, you can see that he’s probably opening a lot of sets to get the results he’s getting. I will just add a sidenote here that I do like Tyler’s stuff, and I’m not implying he lies to or misleads guys. He always states himself he has to approach a lot of girls to get enough momentum to do what he does. I plan to attend an RSD hotseat next year.

My point is that these super high mPUA success rates don’t really exist outside of the marketing material in which they are touted. Sorry to shatter your illusions, but if you’re an average guy you’re really going to have to approach quite a high number of hot women to lay any.

So why is it the case that even great PUAs have such ‘low’ success rates? It’s because getting girls who barely know you and who are better looking than you to want to have casual sex with you is hard. Really fucking hard. Why is this the case?

It’s simple economics. I’m not going to deleve into the biological / evolutionary driving forces here, but rather just take a look at the end result and what it means in terms of how hard it is to fuck girls more attractive than you. Imagine that casual sex is a commodity like any other (and before you get whinny about this, bare in mind it is possible to buy casual sex for cash, so there you go). This would make the dating scene a sexual market place. In a given market place, what factor has the biggest influence on price? Supply and demand. Low supply and high demand = high prices. High supply and low demand = low prices.

Lets look at the demand for casual sex partners from the point of view of each of the sexes. To make things clearer we’ll use a busy nightclub on a Saturday night as a microcosm of the world at large.

Supply of male partners for casual sex: Very high as a percentage of all the men in the club. Lets face it. Most men in a club would like to fuck a new girl that night.

Supply of female sexual partners: Very low. Despite what some optimistic people may think, a very small percentage of women in the club want to fuck a new man that night, or even on another night after a date with him. A girl’s physical urges for casual sex are less frequent than a man’s. People may say, “But women like sex as much, if not more than men!”. I agree. But whereas man are much more inclined to have sex with lots of different women, women want sex lots of times but with the same man each time. I’m not saying women are all innocent little virgins and never do dirty stuff. I know they do. They often do it with me. Girls have their R-Selected moments, but they’re rare. The point is that their inclination towards casual sex is lower than a man’s. Far lower. Anyone who denies this denies plainly observable reality.

This all means that when you as a PUA go looking for sex, offering your own sex in return, you’re essentially offering to trade something that is in high supply for something which is in low supply. The market’s going to resist that, and that’s what makes game hard. When half the world is selling TVs, cornering a disproportionately large share of the TV market is no easy task. That’s what a successful PUA has to do.

What Kind Of Success Rates Do Players / PUAs Really Get

How do you measure success? Fighters have their wins – losses – draws. Powerlifters have their totals. Sprinters have their best time for a given distance. What about PUAs? PUAs have their open : fclose ratio.

I’m first going to talk about what type of success ratio guys actually seem to obtain, from ‘professional’ PUAs down to normal guys who just go out at the weekends. I’ll then go on to show you why comparing success rates is basically bullshit.

There is one piece of bullshit I have to address before proceeding. If memory serves me rightly Mystery (or maybe Neil Strauss) once said of success rates that an mPUA could open 5 girls and get 5 girlfriends as a result. I’ve seen people quote this on forums as what is possible if you get “really good at game”. This is bullshit. I’m not going to do a detailed breakdown of why I think this. That would be a waste of time; that figure is so obviously impossible.

Lets look at me. I don’t record stats apart from number of lays, so this is one huge stab in the dark. I’d estimate that from cold approach game in bars and clubs my open : fclose ration is somewhere around 30:1 to 40:1. Quite a range, I know, It’s really hard to say without keeping stats. I’ve gone through periods where I seem to be getting laid every other weekend while opening maybe 10 girls I week, but on the flip side I’ve has times where I’ve opened 40 – 50 girls in a few weeks and not got laid. Hard to see through the variance without recording how many girls I actually open. Accuracy aside, I think it’s a figure that shows it’s not really easy for me to get laid. There’s a high luck factor their. At the same time I’m not hopeless. I can get laid fairly regularly if  I put the effort in. Also bare in mind I’m only talking full vaginal or anal sex her. If I included hand jobs and blow jobs the stats would be pretty good, but still not amazing.

Let’s look at some of the pros. Both Tom Torero and Nick Krauser have helpfully posted their 2013 stats for the world to see. If you want the details, check out the links. The summary is that they both have a open : lay ratio of around 30-40 : 1. Roughly the same as myself. Does this mean I as good at game as two well known PUAs who have written books and taught bootcamps on the subject? In a word, no. The explanation of this makes a nice segway into the second part of the post. Success rates don’t mean much on their own, and cannot be easily compared.

The difficulty of fucking a given girl off a cold approach is mainly determined by how physically attractive she is in comparison to how physically attractive you are. Yes, there are other factors, but this is the headline. For the “looks don’t matter” brigade, please note I’m not saying that looks are everything. it’s simply that the better looking the girl is compared to you, the more game you need.

I would say there are the following levels when it comes to fucking girls regularly:

Girls more than a point below you: If you can’t fuck these girls regularly, you haven’t just got no game, but you are doing something weird to actively make them run away. I mean like trying to extract for sex by saying, “Come back to my place. I keep my dead mother’s head in a jar, you can see it! It talks to me sometimes. At night”.

Girls a point below you: You’d think you’d need no game, but you do need some. Just basic escalate and don’t fuck up game, but you can’t be a chode. Girls are hypergamous so they feel entitled to guys at lease a point better than them by default. If your value drops due to messing up an obvious shit test she through at you, or if any neediness comes through, you could loose the lay. There are just too many men who are regularly willing to gladly fuck a point below them that you do have to bring some game.

Girls at your level: You may think you need just the merest hint of game to get these girls. The truth is that girls at your own level of looks will regularly get opportunities to fuck guys better looking than you. As such, you need fairly solid, but certainly not perfect game to get these girls.

Girls a point hotter than you: You need solid game (or some other type of value adding edge, like status within a given group). Bare in mind we’re talking about casual sex her. You’re not offering a relationship, just sex with a guy worse looking than she is. An impossible sell without strong charisma.

Girls more than a point hotter than you: I’m sure it’s not impossible, but very very hard though. If you’re regularly smashing these girls your game is amazing. Or you’re famous.

This then is the explanation of my success rate when compared to some very good PUAs. I’m younger than them and yet on average fuck women less attractive than them,

Looks aren’t the only thing that bares consideration when looking at success rates. There are various different ways to go about playing the game. Each has it’s own advantages and disadvantages. The two methods that will lead to the greatest disparity in success rate are approaching only off IOIs vs cold approaching the girls you want.

Approaching off IOIs alone goes like this. The player will wander around a large nightclub. He will pass by or stand near girls he likes and make a blatant attempt to get eye contact with them. If they reciprocate, he will approach. If not he’ll move on. In addition to this he’ll keep one eye open for any girls that meet his minimum attractiveness standard who may be giving him IOIS (proximity, eye contact). If he gets any IOIS he’ll approach. If he can’t get an IOI all night, he’ll either not approach at all, or resort to scanning for girls who are giving off general DTF signals, even if they aren’t aimed specifically at him.

In contrast to this, there is pure cold approach. This method sees our bold player approaching any girls he finds attractive, regardless of whether they’re giving off IOIs or DTF signals or not. He doesn’t wait for the green light, he goes for what he wants. At first this method may seem inferior to waiting for IOIs, but it has many advantages over it. There are many girls out there who don’t IOI you but who will fuck you if you approach them and game them correctly. They’ll just be more challenging than the girls who do provide you with the approach invitations. This means two things. Firstly, the guy who takes the harder path will almost certainly develop much better game in the long run. While the other guy finds himself gaming only easier yes girls, he will find himself gaming the harder to get maybe girls. Since the hottest fire forges the strongest steel, this leads to a greater ability in the long run. Secondly, although the cold approacher will experience a lower success rate as defined by the approach : lay ratio, he’ll probably achieve a far higher absolute success rate, as measured by total lays. Surely this is better? I know I for one care more about how many new women I get to see naked and fuck than the number of approaches it took make to get them. Don’t get me wrong, getting a better ratio is a very good thing, but not if it comes at the expense of quantity. Finally, since the girls at the top of your potential range will virtually always be maybe girls, the cold approach should see higher quality results.

The difference in success rate of the IOI approacher, and guys who approach women less attractive then them can be huge. Have you ever heard a guy saying he’s got a 10 : 1 success rate? This is obviously far better than the Torero / Krauser 40 : 1. Yet if a guy who is an 8/10 and who only does IOI based approaches on 7s and the occasional 8, he’ll easily get 10 : 1 success rate with maybe only moderate game. If however you’re a 6 approaching 7s / 8s cold, then it’s going to go down dramatically. A 6 with very little game cold approaching girls hotter than him will have an absurdly bad ratio.

Next time you hear people discussing success rates online, realise that it’s bollocks, as this magic number tells you very little.

 

Your Labour Is Rarely Wasted

I’ve found my game on a bit of a down swing of late. I have got no new notches in the past 6 weeks, only a couple of hand jobs. The three previous lays before that weren’t proper ‘game’ lays. They were things like four somes set up by my fuck buddy and from going to a sex club. It must have been around 10 weeks since I last legitimately gamed a girl into my bed.

In addition to this I haven’t been doing much online game or night game. I’ve been focusing almost completely on (failing at) daygame. I decided it was time to get laid again so in the past couple of weeks I’ve been on some Tinder dates and gone out a couple of times in the night. My game truly sucked.

It’s not like I’ve reverted back to my pre game self, but I’m significantly worse at everything than I was last year. My general conversational and social skills are stifled. My teasing is virtually non existent. My body language is less dominant. I move meekly through the club as opposed to being the lion sauntering through the savanna. Girls lead the conversation, and I’m shy to make my intentions known and go after the girl I want, content to just do the social chatting thing to the group. That’s the biggest thing I lack. The r-selected vibe, or the killer instinct as Good Looking Loser puts it. That last one’s a biggie. It’s often all the makes the difference between going home with the girl or going home to wank off to pornhub. The long and short of it is that I’ve let girls I feel I should have fucked slip through my fingers.

This dip made me doubt myself and all of the progress I have made thus far. Is my inner game really so weak that I could have regressed to a chode within a couple of months? I then realized, that although my inner game certainly needs a lot of work, this is an outer game problem. I’m simply out of practise. The knife is blunt.

This got me thinking about everything I had been doing during the times I was doing really well at game. At all the labour and practise that went in to being good. I looked at what I was doing in times leading up to great success that I wasn’t doing now.

For example. This year I’ve massively cut back on my socialising. Last year I was going out a lot to meet new people by going to social networking events. This year I haven’t. I told myself I hadn’t met many long term friends out of it. I was an introvert and so shouldn’t socialise much. I decided my time was wasted at such events, and as such I stopped going. Also recently I have not been approaching much or going on many dates, due to the fact I’ve almost completely cut out the online and night game.

The result of all this is where I am now. It suddenly dawned on my just how important all that time ‘wasted’ at social networking events was. Although I could see no direct positive result from it, the results became conspicuous by their absence when I stopped going. I now lack social skills and charisma that was slowly, but surely being built by attending these events.

I quickly realised that I obviously need to start attending these events again, in order to keep the knife sharp. The revelation went beyond this though. I realised that there have been so many things I have done that have seen like wasted labour to me, but looking back they were all honing my skills and keeping the knife sharp.

Many of the things you’re doing now to improve your game may seem fruitless if you aren’t getting results. Although I don’t object to someone dropping what is useless in the pursuit of something that gets results, I think applied effort in an endeavour is rarely wasted, even when people see little in the way of immediate results. Here are some things that you may do at the moment to improve your game, but at the moment think they amount to wasted time:

Going on day2s that don’t lead to sex or future dates Worst case scenario is that this is a learning experience of how not to do a day2. Your failure can give you clues on how to go wrong. The date is a great time to practise many parts of game: story telling, frame control, teasing, escalation. It’s a bit like a sparing match you didn’t win; you still need to do it for the practise.

Opening sets and getting blown out a lot This is how my daygame was going until quite recently. I could get 5 insta blow outs in a row. It seemed pointless at times, but it taught me how not to open sets during the day and I improved.

Getting flaky numbers Very frustrating, but teaches you an important lesson. Numbers on their own are worthless. You need to learn how to cultivate a girls intent to meet you again. Again a learning experience. It also creates the habit of closing girls you talk to.

Going out socialising when you don’t feel like it This is a big one for introverts like myself. Socialising can leave us drained and feeling like we got nothing out of it. In reality it helps us practise our social skills and state control. If you go out socialising twice per week compared to once per month, over the course of a year the difference in your game will be huge.

Next time doing that extra set or going to that friends party feels useless, remember, your efforts won’t be wasted even if you don’t see an immediate reward.

My Daygame Sticking Points

My daygame progress is slow, but I have finally reached a milestone. As you may recall from previous posts my main problem thus far has been approach anxiety. I had only been opening a few sets a session because of it. Recently this has changed, thanks mainly to BodiPua who gave me some advice on how to overcome it. The advice given was much the same as can be found in his post ‘The Poison Pill’. The crux is that for a beginner the first few sets (at least) of any session are hell. They shatter your nerves and generally go badly. This means that if an approach session only consists of a few sets, the newbie will be left with only negative reference experiences of daygame. This means that one should do longer sessions, with at least around 10 sets. This gives enough time to get warmed up, and the volume is sufficient to allow the budding PUA to experience at least some good sets each session. He can then go away from the session with the positive reference experiences which will allow the gradual reduction of approach anxiety.

The approach I actually used was to give myself a time limit within which an approach must be performed. As soon as I’d arrive at Oxford Street a 20 minute countdown would begin. If I did not approach within that 20 minutes I had to turn around and go home. After my first approach the timer would start again, and so on, with a break once every 2 – 3 approaches. I did run out of time on at least a few occasions after doing either one or no approaches. There is a mental hack at work when this happens. You feel as though you haven’t given up and decided to go home, yet rather you were robbed of opportunities to approach by the clock. I find this triggers a fear of loss, which has always motivated me far more than the anticipation of success. If I only have a couple of minutes left on the clock within which to approach, I now feel a fear which drives me to do the approach so I can continue the session.

I have broken double figures in all of the sessions I have done in the past month. Despite this I’m still not regularly getting dates, or even numbers. In order to discover my current sticking points I once again purchased a one on one with Gaydame. The great thing about daygame which is harder to accomplish than in nightgame is that a coach can wire you up and listen in on your sets, and record them for latter review. This leads to very accurate feedback. So I got mic’d up and headed into the field with my tutor. The result is that I now have a list of things I need to work on. To understand this, you need a rough idea of what the street stop portion of the London Daygame Model consists of. Here it is:

1. Approach and kill momentum.
2. If she doesn’t hook from just your opening, assumption stack until something hooks her.
3. Vibe (banter) with her. Be upbeat, with a little teasing thrown in. Make the conversation mostly about her.
4. As she invests more into the interaction, you tone everything down. Talk less, monotone vocal expression, less facial expressions. She invests even more in an attempt to fill the void.
5. Commit her to a date, take her number.

With this in mind, my coach identified that I need to work on the following:

1. Stop talking over the girl. I have a bad habit of getting overly enthusiastic when a set goes well, and as I result I often cut a girl of mid sentence. This stops me attaining point 4 of the model (getting her to invest), and also means I actually end up doing more work than I need to.
2. Not leaving pauses in conversation. A man with confidence leaves many pauses in conversation. Not pausing also gets in the way of lettin the girl invest.
3. Talking about myself too much, not enough about her.
4. When they start asking unsolicited questions about me she is starting to invest in the interaction, and I need to dial down my responses, all the way to the point where I’m giving one word answers. This flips the script, with her doing most of the investment in the interaction instead of me.
5. Being too fact based with the conversation. The conversation should be a way to communicate emotionally with the girl (from my masculine core, I’m sure Krauser would say), rather than just being an exchange of factual information. As I listened back to one of my sets on an MP3 player, I realised the conversation could have been two girls talking. The conversation was plutonic, devoid of masculine polarity on my part. To solve this I should inflame the girl’s emotions. Create a role for her, put her in it and then play around with it, Imagine the conversation is a canvas, and paint and exciting caricature on it of how I think her life / personality must be. An example of this would be one that Krauser often gives of talking to a Siberian girl , “So you live in a little wooden cabin in the deserted Siberian mountains. Every morning you have to go out to collect firewood so you can stay warm at night, but you have to be careful not to end u breakfast for one of the many hungry bears who live in the area”.

I’ve put these points in order of how hard I believe they are to achieve. The 5th is certainly quite hard. It requires imagination and a lot of thinking on my feet, as well as strong verbal skills which are certainly not my forte. I’ll tackle the points in the order shown, easiest first. I will make it my purpose over the next couple of weeks to tackle points 1 and 2.